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*GIFT HELP* Separate or from both?

MusicMorahMusicMorah member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hi everyone!

Quick question: My fiancé and I are attending my future sister-in-law's wedding this weekend. I am not in the wedding party, but am including her in mine. Since my fiancé and I do not have a joint checking account yet, should we gift a gift from "both of us" since we are getting married next year, or should we each write separate checks with different cards? I've looked online for an answer, and haven't found much help.

Thanks! :-)

--Missy

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Re: *GIFT HELP* Separate or from both?

  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I say from both you. You're attending as a couple, so a couple gift is apporiate.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I always give a joint gift with my FI for a wedding. For my sister's wedding, I wrote the check, but the gift was from both of us (ie, it said it in the card). Having or not having a joint checking account is irrelevant. 
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    If you bought a physical gift, she'd never know who pays for it.

    Same with cash.

    But either way, you are a couple, and the gift should come from you as a couple.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    From you as a couple.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    A check from one person's account can still be a gift from both of you. We've done that--a check from my partner has been from both of us, and we split it on SplitWise.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • Fairyjen1Fairyjen1 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
         We went to three weddings last year and we aren't marrying until this year. Only one of them we would have both been invited to had we not been dating (mutual friends). We were invited as a couple on the invites so we sent a joint gift. 
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    When we were dating, we gave gifts as a couple, whether it be wedding, shower, Christmas, or birthday. I signed Christmas cards with both of our names once we moved in together.

    The separate bank account thing shouldn't even be an issue. Many married couples have separate accounts, including us. When we give a check as a gift, both of our names are in the card, so it isn't and shouldn't be confusing.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    as a couple.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    If he writes the check for the gift, I'll pick up the dinner tab the next time we eat out.  It all ends up working out.
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  • blabla89blabla89 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Give the gift from both. Joint account shouldn't matter as long as you both sign the card. Or just put in cash.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker



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  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    We always gave a joint gift, even before we were engaged. Usually I wrote the check, even if it was his friend getting married, because he didn't have a check book. 
    Anniversary
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  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Fiance says: "They don't care who the check comes from, as long as it clears!" 

    I love Fiance. 

    Another vote for joint gift-- sign both of your names. FI and I just did that. I think it would have been weird for us not to! We are invited as a couple, as it sounds like you were. 
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  • kitty8403kitty8403 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    It depends on who it is for us.

    We give gifts as a couple for things like graduations, parties, and *usually* weddings because I'm the girl and he's busy/forgetful so it turns into my job. We give separate gifts to family (both sides) at Christmas and on birthdays unless we agree to a joint surprise. Mother's Day/fathers day we shop for our own parents.
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    We've given as a couple since we became a couple. If it's to my family, I pay. His, he pays. Both names go on the card.

    The status of your checking accounts is irrelevant to your gift giving.
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  • MusicMorahMusicMorah member
    First Comment
    edited May 2014
    All responses have been very helpful! Thank you! :-)
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