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FMIL wants special "parent dance"?!

wowand135wowand135 member
Knottie Warrior 10 Comments Combo Breaker
in Moms and Maids
I learned from the GF of FFIL that FMIL called about planning the RD. She asked if FFIL was brining GF (GF of like 2 years; love her) and of coures he said yes. FMIL asked, are you sure... I think the kids would love to have just mom and dad. (Background: both FMIL and FFIL have been re-married and re-divorced since their divorce.) She further said she would like to dance with FFIL during the "parent dance." She has not approached me about this yet, but I'm sure it will come up.

First of all, we are NOT having people sit through some special parent dance. Has anybody had this at their wedding or heard of it? My mom had never heard of it. I'm trying to think of how to tell FMIL this when she inevitably approaches me about it. My (rather good) excuse is that it would be incredibly akward for my family (if not theirs too!) because my mom is not going to dance with my dad and she is not going to want to watch him dance with my stepmom, who used to be my mom's best friend until my dad left the one for the other! There are just so many reasons not to do this dance thing!

Help?
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Re: FMIL wants special "parent dance"?!

  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I wouldn't worry about it too much. You can simply say that you've chosen just to do a first dance with your hubby and get on with the partying. :) I don't think she'll take it personally if you don't want to have a speical dance that would ultimately be awkward anyway. I'd bet even she thinks it's weird.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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  • heyjude23heyjude23 member
    100 Comments
    Ditto PP, If she asks, just tell her you're only comfortable having your first dance with your new husband as the only "spotlight" dance (if you guys are even doing one).  Have your FI get on the same page with you on this.

    Also, are you guys having a DJ?  Inform them ahead of time that you will only be doing ONE spotlight dance, and that under no circumstance should they announce any special parent dances. 
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm an MOB who has never seen a 'Parent Dance' at any of the weddings that I have attended. When I was a girl, 'Wedding Party' dances were common and  sometimes the parents joined in on that. If your FMIL suggests this made up tradition to you, tell her that clearing the dance floor for spot light dances is a party killer. It's boring for the guests to sit and watch.

    Are you very close to the GF? It almost seems like she is tattling on FMIL. Don't let them put you in the middle of whatever is going on between them.



                       
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    never heard of a 'parent dance' .  I've been to weddings where the M/S or F/D dance other M/S or F/D pairs are invited to join.  I've also frequently seen the 'anniversary' dance, where all the married couples dance and the DJ dismisses anymore married less than a day, less than a year, less than 5, etc. until only one couple's left.  Neither of those would put FMIL and FFIL dancing together.

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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-wants-special-parent-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f3596949-7ca3-4f83-bb63-ee80507dc1e0Post:71efe491-ddf6-4587-b249-462d7d667f85">Re: FMIL wants special "parent dance"?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm an MOB who has never seen a 'Parent Dance' at any of the weddings that I have attended. When I was a girl, 'Wedding Party' dances were common and  sometimes the parents joined in on that. If your FMIL suggests this made up tradition to you, tell her that clearing the dance floor for spot light dances is a party killer. It's boring for the guests to sit and watch. Are you very close to the GF? It almost seems like she is tattling on FMIL. Don't let them put you in the middle of whatever is going on between them.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    I never have either.  And when you have that many fractured relationships in one parental group it is bound to be strange.  If she pushes, I'd just tell her that!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I agree with everybody's advice except for when they say "You should tell her this, you should tell her that."

    Your FI is the one who should be telling her this and that.
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  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    A very long time ago it used to be that there were quite a few "required" dances.  This was before my time and through when I was a little kid.  you would have the bridegroom, bride with dad, groom with mom, bride with new FIL, groom with new MIL, bridal party dance - and possibly others. There could have been a parents dance to but I do not recall that happening. 

    I'm glad most people only have the bride/groom first dance and the groom w/mom and bride with dad and that's it.  It's better to get everyone else up and moving on the dance floor, having fun and being involved.

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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    I've never heard of a "parent dance" either.

    I am divorced from FOB (friendly) but he danced with our daughter and the groom danced with his mother.  Guess FOG was SOL, same I was ;)
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