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Plus-Sized
Mkincaid2014
member
[Vent] Could use some encouragement... (Updated with pics)
I haven't posted on this board before, but I'm not sure many others on the other boards would understand. I'm a very tall (6ft) plus sized girl, and I'm getting married in October. I don't have a dress yet.
I made an appointment last September at a store that specializes in plus size brides. The day before the appointment, we received notice that the government was cutting our program and initially we were told we were going to lose our jobs in a few months (thank you, sequestration!). Needless to say, I wasn't in a place emotionally (and I wasn't sure if I was in a place financially) to buy a dress that day, but I went through with it because my family came from all over to join me. Combining that stress with the saleswoman's reaction of "see, you're not THAT big" when I tried on my first dress and it zipped up, I haven't been shopping again.
I was recently at an event with some men from the Middle East, and one of them offered me a cookie. I didn't want to be rude, so I accepted. He then proceeded to ask me what I was doing to lose weight. I said "nothing" to try to change the subject when in reality I've been trying to lose some weight for the wedding, but he kept following me around, lecturing me on the dangers of being overweight. This one stupid guy's opinion shouldn't matter at all, but I got really depressed about it. Most of the time I can pretend other people aren't looking at me and judging me, but that guy crushed my delusion.
Now I'm in danger of running out of time to get a dress. I just sucked it up and made an appointment for next week. I wish I could look forward to dress shopping the way my friends did for their weddings, but I don't view it as a fun experience. It's yet another opportunity to be judged on how I look. Sorry for this long vent, I've needed to get this off my chest for a while, I guess. Thanks for listening, ladies.
I made an appointment last September at a store that specializes in plus size brides. The day before the appointment, we received notice that the government was cutting our program and initially we were told we were going to lose our jobs in a few months (thank you, sequestration!). Needless to say, I wasn't in a place emotionally (and I wasn't sure if I was in a place financially) to buy a dress that day, but I went through with it because my family came from all over to join me. Combining that stress with the saleswoman's reaction of "see, you're not THAT big" when I tried on my first dress and it zipped up, I haven't been shopping again.
I was recently at an event with some men from the Middle East, and one of them offered me a cookie. I didn't want to be rude, so I accepted. He then proceeded to ask me what I was doing to lose weight. I said "nothing" to try to change the subject when in reality I've been trying to lose some weight for the wedding, but he kept following me around, lecturing me on the dangers of being overweight. This one stupid guy's opinion shouldn't matter at all, but I got really depressed about it. Most of the time I can pretend other people aren't looking at me and judging me, but that guy crushed my delusion.
Now I'm in danger of running out of time to get a dress. I just sucked it up and made an appointment for next week. I wish I could look forward to dress shopping the way my friends did for their weddings, but I don't view it as a fun experience. It's yet another opportunity to be judged on how I look. Sorry for this long vent, I've needed to get this off my chest for a while, I guess. Thanks for listening, ladies.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: [Vent] Could use some encouragement... (Updated with pics)
Have you looked through the Aw your dress thread at the top of this page? It shows dozens of gorgeous plus sized women in dresses that make them feel beautiful. If all of them could find a dress, you can too!
Get your mom and your MoH and go again. Don't worry about having ANYONE else there! It was me, my mom, and my baby sister-MoH. That was perfect. They were both supportive and helpful and loving. Those two people are your biggest fans. Trust in them.
Good luck! I'm sure you'll find something that'll make you feel beautiful.
I'm starting to look forward to the dress appointment and even made a second one for next week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it is a good experience!
Try to make a few appointments. When you call around, ask if they have plus size dresses and dresses they will sell you off the rack, most of the places I went to would allow SOME of the dresses to be sold off the rack - if they do though, make sure they fix them up and sanitize/clean them before you pick it up.
I would suggest you call stores in your area and ask what size samples they have. Ask for specifics - How many in my size and one size up and one size down. Every store has a different idea of plus size. If they don't carry very many dresses you can fit into it may be difficult to stay positive.
FWIW, I found David's bridal to be a good first store because they do carry an excellent number of sizes to try on. That way I could try different styles and figured out what I liked and didn't like on my body.
Good luck