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Two receptions

margjbmargjb member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

When my fiancé' and I get married in July, many people in his family will not be able to come.  We are getting married and having a small reception in my hometown.  His family is about 700 miles away. Although his immediate family plans to be with us in July, his mother wants to host a separate reception when we visit in September. How do I handle wedding/reception invitation?

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Re: Two receptions

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
     I would invite everyone to your actual wedding.

    Then FMIL should invite those she wants for the September wedding party.  I would refrain for saying it's a second reception.  Just make it a celebration of your marriage.

    ETA






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    margjb said:

    When my fiancé' and I get married in July, many people in his family will not be able to come.  We are getting married and having a small reception in my hometown.  His family is about 700 miles away. Although his immediate family plans to be with us in July, his mother wants to host a separate reception when we visit in September. How do I handle wedding/reception invitation?

    Those are two separate parties, thus two independent invitations. Invite them all to the wedding. Some may come. In September, your MIL can invite people to a party in your honor with her own invitation. Also, @lyndausvi, I believe you meant to say September party instead of September wedding?
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    NYCMercedes said:
    margjb said:

    When my fiancé' and I get married in July, many people in his family will not be able to come.  We are getting married and having a small reception in my hometown.  His family is about 700 miles away. Although his immediate family plans to be with us in July, his mother wants to host a separate reception when we visit in September. How do I handle wedding/reception invitation?

    Those are two separate parties, thus two independent invitations. Invite them all to the wedding. Some may come. In September, your MIL can invite people to a party in your honor with her own invitation. Also, @lyndausvi, I believe you meant to say September party instead of September wedding?
    yes.  you are correct.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ditto PPs. Invite everyone to your actual wedding in July, and let them decide if they want to attend.

    If your FMIL wants to host a party in September, she may do so, but she should host it herself.

    She may issue invites that say, '...to celebrate the recent marriage of Son and DIL who were married on (date).'

    But no trappings of a wedding -- no dress or first dance or ceremonial cake feeding (but yes there should be cake, because CAKE), no tossing items, etc.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Invite everyone to your wedding in July regardless. 

    My sister also had a very small wedding- just the immediate family was present. Her in-laws threw a huge family reunion about six months later and mine did about a year later. Family reunions aren't a regular thing for either side, but it was great to have everyone formally meet the new member of the family in a casual environment. 

    Point being, I wouldn't bother calling it another reception either. Just have a party, or reunion. 
    ________________________________


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  • SapphireCounselorSapphireCounselor member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Sounds like pps have given great advice. I will just echo them. Invite everyone to the wedding, regardless of distance, and just make the September party a celebration of your marriage if you accept the offer from your MIL to host.
    image
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Another reception tour? Sigh.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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