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Notes about a wedding I attended this weekend

emmaaaemmaaa mod
Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
edited May 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
FI and I went to a wedding Friday evening for one of our close HS friends. We were surprised FI was even invited because the Bride and her family has a "holier than thou" attitude and always thought of FI as a bad example (which he isn't).

I posted previously about the invitation we received that had no mention of my name, just as "and guest." That was the first time that had happened to me and I was very taken back by it. But, as I mentioned, the Bride doesn't like FI and has always had an attitude about me, so I assume it was a passive-aggressive "error."

Come Friday, FI and I went and bought their wedding gift (we had to wait due to unforeseen expenses) to ship to their home and a card for the wedding. We get to the wedding and it was a very quaint, backyard ceremony around the pond. It was absolutely beautiful. 

The Bride wore ivory and looked amazing and the bridesmaids wore cream. No one cared that the wedding party and mothers of the Bride and Groom were in white and ivory and cream.

After the ceremony, we moved over to the reception where the food was served. The food was delicious and we got to eat as soon as we went over there while they took pictures. No gap! BUT, we had to carry our chairs over to the reception area. The Bride's father (who was also the officiant) made an announcement that he didn't know how else to do it. Uhm, get more chairs? Or hire someone to move them? FI carried mine and some others' but STILL, not happy about that.

This was a dry wedding. We expected that. And guess what! We still had a pretty good time despite there not being alcohol! Who would have thought that?

Like I said, this was a beautiful backyard and aside from some awkwardness and etiquette breaches, we had a decent time. However, much of what I think about are the etiquette mistakes.

So long story short:
-Make sure to address all SOs
-Bridesmaids can wear cream.
-Gaps are absolutely avoidable, even if you don't have a cocktail hour.
-Don't  make your guests do work. AKA plan accordingly.
-Dry weddings are perfectly acceptable and poeple will still have fun.





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Re: Notes about a wedding I attended this weekend

  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
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    The chairs thing would annoy me, but whateves. I love the idea of bridesaids in cream!
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  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    sophhabobopha said:
    The chairs thing would annoy me, but whateves. I love the idea of bridesaids in cream!
    @sophhabobpha FI was like, "I don't see a problem with it." And I said, "No, guests don't work for their food." But...oh well.

    And the bridemaids next to the bride look amazing.


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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
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    emmaaa said:
    sophhabobopha said:
    The chairs thing would annoy me, but whateves. I love the idea of bridesaids in cream!
    @sophhabobpha FI was like, "I don't see a problem with it." And I said, "No, guests don't work for their food." But...oh well.

    And the bridemaids next to the bride look amazing.

    Yeah I'd rather not have to carry chairs ever, especially not in the dress I'd probably be wearing.
    image
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  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    sophhabobopha said:
    emmaaa said:
    sophhabobopha said:
    The chairs thing would annoy me, but whateves. I love the idea of bridesaids in cream!
    @sophhabobpha FI was like, "I don't see a problem with it." And I said, "No, guests don't work for their food." But...oh well.

    And the bridemaids next to the bride look amazing.

    Yeah I'd rather not have to carry chairs ever, especially not in the dress I'd probably be wearing.
    I had on 5 inch wedges and walked through the yard. Chairs would have made that harder.

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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
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    emmaaa said:
    sophhabobopha said:
    emmaaa said:
    sophhabobopha said:
    The chairs thing would annoy me, but whateves. I love the idea of bridesaids in cream!
    @sophhabobpha FI was like, "I don't see a problem with it." And I said, "No, guests don't work for their food." But...oh well.

    And the bridemaids next to the bride look amazing.

    Yeah I'd rather not have to carry chairs ever, especially not in the dress I'd probably be wearing.
    I had on 5 inch wedges and walked through the yard. Chairs would have made that harder.
    image
    image
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would not be happy to have to carry my chair but it's not as bad as a lot of the etiquette mistakes that could be made!

    SO and I went to a dry wedding in November and still had a pretty good time. I really don't mind dry weddings at all but I'm not really a drinker. SO's friends who had a cash bar at their wedding bitched about the dry wedding and it took everything in me not to make a snarky comment.


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  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    bethsmiles said:
    I would not be happy to have to carry my chair but it's not as bad as a lot of the etiquette mistakes that could be made!

    SO and I went to a dry wedding in November and still had a pretty good time. I really don't mind dry weddings at all but I'm not really a drinker. SO's friends who had a cash bar at their wedding bitched about the dry wedding and it took everything in me not to make a snarky comment.
    @bethsmiles FI and I enjoy drinking with friends and expect most weddings to have alcohol. However, we assumed this one wouldn't and still had a fine night.

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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
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    At least you were provided a chair to sit on :)

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  • ab6704aab6704a member
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    edited May 2014
    I ordered a second set of chairs for my wedding after I saw the finale of The Office where Dwight and Angela are getting married and everybody has to carry their hay bales from the ceremony to the reception to sit on. That stuck in my mind as the perfect example of why I needed two sets of chairs! edited for grammar/wording
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  • OnceUponAVineOnceUponAVine member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Carrying a chair would irritate me but mainly because outside of work I live in high heels and that would have been difficult.... And dry weddings are always acceptable - cash bars are not!
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I think that your post is a great example of how we're still able to enjoy weddings and be happy for couples, even when we're not on great terms with one or both people getting married, and even when there are etiquette mistakes. Or, conversely, and example of how etiquette mistakes are still noticeable and irritating for guests, even when we have a wonderful time and are happy for the couple.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    phira said:
    I think that your post is a great example of how we're still able to enjoy weddings and be happy for couples, even when we're not on great terms with one or both people getting married, and even when there are etiquette mistakes. Or, conversely, and example of how etiquette mistakes are still noticeable and irritating for guests, even when we have a wonderful time and are happy for the couple.
    Yes @phira, best of both worlds. We definitely noticed the etiquette faux pas and enjoyed ourselves even though the Bride is not fond of either of us.

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