Bachlorette

Re: Bachlorette

• Maggie0829 member

  

  May 2014

  I would tell your friend that you really appreciate her wanting to throw this party for you but that you need to decline her offer.  I think wanting your other BMs and friends to be there for your party is a legitimate reason for saying no to this plan and if your friend cannot understand this then she is not as good of a friend as you may think she is.

  
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  May 2014

  Istoleahalo said:

  One of my bridemaids is planning the bachlorette party.  She wants to go to Epcot for the Food and Wine festival...which I would LOVE to do (I'm a Disney nerd).  However, I know that several of my other bridesmaids wouldn't be able to afford to go (it's $100 to get in, then you are looking at about as much in food/drinks for the day... not to mention the hotel room...). She and I have Disney annual passes so it wouldn't be as big of a deal for us but it would be for some of the others.  I tried to suggest something cheaper like a weekend at the beach, but she seems set on Epcot.  I feel bad because I know that *I* shouldn't plan it but I don't want some of the other girls to be excluded because they can't afford it (and I can't afford to offer to pay for then to go either).  I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard spot.  I tried to hint/suggest that we can do Epcot as a girl's weekend with whoever can come and then something else as the bachlorette party but she said she could only do one weekend because of her kids (which I understand - I'm a mom to).  What should I do?  What CAN I do?  Anything?

  You're right that you can't plan it, but you can step in and stop her from doing something exclusionary. 

  
  

  You need to tell her, 'Friend, I love you, and I love Disney, and I'm so grateful you thought of this. But I'm really not comfortable with doing this as a bachelorette weekend because I know it's beyond the means of some of my BMs. I need you to please think of something -- ask for their input and get a feel for their price ranges -- that can involve ALL of my BMs. You're all equally special to me, and I just want to have a day with all of you.'

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2014

  You could say something to your friend like, "Friend, I love the idea of Disney and if it were just the two of us, I'd immediately say Go for it!  But unfortunately, some of my other bridesmaids can't do it.  So if you want to do a bachelorette, I need you to please come up with something that works for all of us, because I need all of you to feel equally included.  You're all important to me, and I would feel terrible if we do something that would leave anyone out."
  

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• phira member

  

  May 2014

  You can always decline the bachelorette. It's not up to you to plan it, but it's entirely your call to say, "It needs to include these people, and if they can't afford it, it doesn't work."

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• tcnoble member

  

  May 2014

  Has she asked the other BMs what their budget is for the bachelorette? That right there will likely solve the problem - ask her to check with the other girls before planning any more to make sure that everyone who wants to and can be there is able to make it work. If their budget eliminates Epcot, and YOU are okay with that, then she should move along and work on planning something that everyone is able to attend.

  

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• iloveu4ever member

  

  May 2014

  Compromise. If its wine and cheese go to a vineyard.

  
   

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