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It matters

May14TXbrideMay14TXbride member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Just another post about how much etiquette means to our guests.  My wedding is May 31 (wow..just 4 days away!).  My FI and met with our DJ a couple weeks ago.  When he asked what we were serving we said BBQ with beer, wine, champagne, and margaritas (and water, tea, lemonade, and sodas).  He then asked if guests would need to pay for their drinks, to which we said "No, we've got that covered."  He told us our guests were going to love us, since they will not have to pay for anything.  Then, as he was walking us through the reception events, dances, etc, he asked if we would be doing a money dance, when we told him "no, we don't like money dances"...he really seemed to be impressed we would not be asking our guest to pay for drinks or pay us at the wedding.   

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Re: It matters

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Glad your DJ seems to understand correct etiquette!
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    JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    I like your DJ.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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    pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
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    Great for you and the DJ! :) Sounds like you get along just fine. 

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    michyrookie325michyrookie325 member
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    Four days, how exciting! Best wishes :) 
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    perdonamiperdonami member
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    I had a very similar experience with my wedding coordinator a few weeks ago. It felt good to hear her say I was treating my guests quite well especially since it was in front of FI who says I am being overboard with etiquette and that no one cares. I care and so will our guests. 
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    melbensomelbenso member
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    LondonLisa said:
    I'm always surprised how much money some brides will spend for "little touches" that their guests will remember their wedding was special, like butterfly releases, extra entertainment (bouncy castles/ live singers), or high-end centrepieces etc but then wont pay for the drinks of their guests because "everyone pays for drinks at weddings". 

    The only "little touch" I care about is good food, cake and not having to open my purse!


    I was just talking with a friend who is doing a reading for our wedding about this this past weekend.  I mentioned that my mother wanted us to have some sort of wedding favor, but we weren't because we decided we'd rather put that money (and money for some other things we cut out) towards an open bar.  Her response: "Yep.  People would rather have drinks than candy."  At least my people would.

    (Please note, my mother also believes we should have an open bar.  When I explained that we weren't going to do favors because we wanted to put that money elsewhere, she volunteered to look into to putting together a candy bar for us. I told her to go for it, if she wanted to do it, but not to worry about it if she didn't.)
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    lilacck28lilacck28 member
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    edited May 2014
    I was trying on wedding dresses last weekend (and I think I found it! woo!). My mom made a joke about the dress I was wearing having sleeves, so I'd have more places to tuck in tissues, and the owner of the shop/ consultant said "or for money... dollar dance!" I said "no! definitely no dollar dance! NO WAY". Her immediate reaction was "Omg I just went to a wedding and learned what a dollar dance was for the first time! Such a strange thing to do! The wedding in general was pretty tacky though, so..." 

    It was nice to learn first hand that even consultants who pretend to be all for whatever wedding type thing the couple is doing, they are in fact are very much judging, just like the rest of us with an understanding of what constitutes politeness. 
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    CSunshine76CSunshine76 member
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    edited May 2014
    And your friends very much appreciate being hosted appropriately! I never knew Dollar Dances even happened in Texas, but apparently they do...so thank you for not having one! And god forbid someone have to buy a drink at your wedding....that just goes against all (southern) hosting protocol...I can't imagine!
     Eta: See ya Sat when you walk down the aisle...yay!!
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    lilacck28lilacck28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    CSunshine76 said:
    And your friends very much appreciate being hosted appropriately! I never knew Dollar Dances even happened in Texas, but apparently they do...so thank you for not having one! And god forbid someone have to buy a drink at your wedding....that just goes against all (southern) hosting protocol...I can't imagine!
     Eta: See ya Sat when you walk down the aisle...yay!!


    Stuck in the box:
    I didn't know anything about dollar dances either, and I'm from the north. If I hadn't been on the knot, I would have had no idea what my consultant was talking about. I would have assumed she was talking about a strip dance! (not that dollar dances are THAT far off)
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