I want to start this by saying that I in no way want a PPD or condone such behavior. I get it. You get one wedding and one day. Period.
I come from a very small town in which everyone knows everyone. My family is one of the founding families of said town. We have been there since the 1800s, along with several other families. I am not particularly close to many of these people, although various members of my family (especially grandmother, great aunt) are and many people know of me, despite me not knowing them. My family is also very active in the church community. I know that many people would be interested in at least hearing about the wedding. They're nosy that way.
While I do want to invite some of these people to my wedding, I do not feel the need to invite all of them, nor can I. I just want to have the people who helped me grow up and supported me through the years witness my marriage. My wedding will be where I live, which is 4 hours from "home". My hometown has many of an older generation and my mom is convinced that even if invited, not many would travel that far, especially not to a big city.
So, my mom thought that it might be nice to host a second reception or celebration or whatever-you'd-like-to-call it in my hometown after the wedding. A group of women there have offered to throw me a shower. This gets tricky just because of the limited number of people I would likely be inviting from this town, so it would be a small shower and nearly exclusively from "my side". I do not care about gifts and such, but I don't want anyone to feel left out for not being invited to the shower, thereby starting town drama, and I don't want to people to show up to the shower that I have no intention of inviting. I hate politics. So, my mom thought maybe they could host the after-celebration for us instead. Is it rude to suggest that? I know these women well and they just want to do something nice for me because they love me. All of them will be invited to the wedding. I would love to share my happiness with my hometown. I know my family is important there and it matters to them. I just am not sure how.
Also, this celebration would in no way resemble a wedding. It would likely be come-and-go, held in the community center with cake and snacks. Very informal. I would not wear my dress. We would not say vows. We may have photos on display, etc. and it would likely be several months after the wedding.
Is any of this inappropriate or ill-advised? I would like honest advice because I don't want to be rude and I'm not sure what is appropriate in this situation. The town is very traditional and close-knit and I know many would care about etiquette.
ETF paragraphs - They disappeared on me!
"They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain