unwanted video montage at reception

Re: unwanted video montage at reception

• Maggie0829 member

  

  June 2014

  What about suggesting that the video be shown at your RD instead?  Typically this is a smaller group of people that are the closest to you and that may actually get a kick out of it.

  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2014

  jules3964 said:

  
  

  The other thing is, personally, I'm just not a big fan of making everyone watch an awkward video of us as some sort of presentation/entertainment at the reception. It just seems kinda AWish. Am I the only one who thinks this way? I know lots of people do slideshows of some sort, so I'm probably in the minority here.

  
  

  I'm really happy that FFIL is excited about the wedding, and I don't want to be negative about his great idea, but what would be the best way to gently stop this from happening and not hurt anyone's feelings?

  
  

  (edited for formatting)

  I agree with you about it being AWish and annoying to your guests to "stop the show" to play a slide show.   But not everyone does it at their wedding!

  
  

  I'd have your FI gently tell his dad, "Dad, FI and I considered your idea, but since non-family members and others who did not know us as kids and will not be in the footage will be in attendance, we'd really rather save this for another occasion."

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• jules3964 member

  

  June 2014

  Maggie0829 said:

  What about suggesting that the video be shown at your RD instead?  Typically this is a smaller group of people that are the closest to you and that may actually get a kick out of it.

  That is an excellent idea... as long as we can get him to abandon his apparent need to show it at the wedding! I guess my fear is that they'll roll it out as a "surprise"...

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• sofakingmad member

  

  June 2014

  As long as I'm not forced to sit and watch the entire thing, I don't really mind these.

  
  

  I went to a wedding once where they had images and movies projected on the wall during the cocktail hour.  You could watch it if you wanted or completely ignore it.  

  

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• sofakingmad member

  

  June 2014

  With that said, I did not want one at my own wedding at all.

  

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• gmcr78 member

  

  June 2014

  If you decide to take him up on it, you could always just have it playing in the background during cocktail hour.  My cousin did that.  It wasn't a presentation and didn't stop anything, it just rotated pictures on a screen during the cocktail hour.  It was actually nice.  People glanced up at it now and again.
  

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• erollis member

  

  June 2014

  It can be done as more of a background thing. Have it play on a tv (if the house has a tv in a common area). That way if people want to stop and watch they can. Sometimes they are projected and played during the cocktail hour or dinner. That way it's not the main focus. People can still eat, drink, and talk, or watch if they want. Especially if there isn't music or sound that's to loud.

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• pinkshorts27 member

  

  June 2014

  flantastic said:

  What Maggie said. FILs were just trying to plan for the RD and asked us about whether we wanted a video or slideshow. Both FI and I had forgotten that this was fairly common and hadn't thought about it, but it is fairly common to do at the RD. I'm not a big fan now that I have thought about it, but that's for my own self. If you really don't like the idea, just decline, but no one will side-eye this as AWish at the rehearsal dinner. I think you have an out for having it at the reception, though.

  In our circle they are pretty common during receptions to just have them playing in the background. Not as a captive audience thing, but as a little thing people can go look at if they want. I love going to look at them because generally I can find people I know in the photos. 

  
  

  

  
  

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• lilacck28 member

  

  June 2014 edited June 2014

  Both my parents and Fiance's parents individually brought up this great idea on separate occasions. Fiance and I are both very amused that both sets of parents are so fascinated by the video montage/ slideshow as well as not interested. We sort of did a half bean dip: "oh, yeah, that could maybe be interesting, but it could be hard logistically. We saw at this other wedding that the couple had family photos in frames on the mantle of our reception area... maybe we'll do that!"

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• annathy03 member

  

  June 2014

  I don't mind these when they're in the background or at the rehearsal dinner, but am glad we didn't have one.  Instead, our mothers made a board with photos of us growing up on the sides and photos of us as a couple in the middle and had it out near where guests picked up their escort cards during cocktail hour.  People could come and look at it if they wanted, but it wasn't the center of attention- and didn't involve electronic equipment that could malfunction on our less than tech-savvy mothers.  I honestly didn't even see it during the day we were so busy, but it landed in our home for a few weeks after and was cool to look at

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• phira member

  

  June 2014

  Like folks have mentioned, this might be a thing that can go on at the rehearsal dinner or in the background during cocktail hour (as in, people can stand and watch for a few minutes, but they're not held hostage and forced to watch during the reception). That said, if this is something you don't want for whatever reason (maybe like me, you're really embarrassed by videos from childhood), then your fiance can say, "Hey Dad, jules3964 and I talked it over, and we've decided that the video isn't such a good idea for us. Thank you for suggesting it, though."

  
  

  It's worth adding, though, that you might want to have a talk with your fiance about how to handle outside suggestions about the wedding. This isn't The Worst Thing That Could Ever Have Happened, but by effectively saying yes to his dad before you two could talk about it, it's much harder for you to say no without any hurt feelings. A good script for suggestions and offers like that is, "Thanks for the suggestion/offer! What a lovely idea. [Partner] and I need to talk it over, but I'll let you know." Because even if you and your partner are standing right next to each other when the suggestion/offer is made, it's entirely understandable that you two might want to discuss it in private before accepting.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• larrygaga member

  

  June 2014 edited June 2014

  I will give you a guest input: I went to a huge wedding where everyone was forced to watch a slideshow of old pictures of the couple, and it was obnoxious. 

  
  

  Having it on with no sound during dinner or cocktail hour sounds like a good idea though. 

  
  

  We weren't allowed to leave the church until it was over. It was the wedding from hell 

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• beethery member

  

  June 2014

  @larrygaga sounds like the what I had to sit through. UUUUUUGH.
  
  Attended a wedding a couple of years ago where the MOB had set up two slideshows. The one for the bride was set to 'Slipping Through My Fingers' by ABBA, and another very weepy song about 'He's my sooooonnnnnnn' for the groom. Dinner and drinks were served after everyone watched the Windows Media Slideshows.
  
  I did not know the B&G at all and I was dying inside of secondhand embarrassment. MOB was kind of AW'y about it (standing up slightly before the end of both slideshows to welcome oncoming applause, and her speech was just... good lord)
  

  --

  
  I'm the fuck out.

  
  

  
  

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• love05312014 member

  

  June 2014 edited June 2014

  I haven't read through all of the other comments posted, but I will throw in my $.02. I also wouldn't want a video montage at my wedding, and TBH... literally every single event/meeting that I've been to where someone tried to pull off some grand technological masterpiece to "WOW" everyone with a video or slideshow has had some sort of embarrassing technological difficulties.
  
  The worst may have been at my aunt's funeral last fall. She was 53, it was tragic, and the family prepared a photo slideshow to be shown with some of the songs that she liked throughout the years. We're at the funeral home, her urn is sitting on a pedestal, everyone is crying, and all of a sudden - a roll up screen is pulled down, the lights are dimmed and.... the video doesn't work. The person that burned the disc did so incorrectly. After like 5 people ran into the A/V room to try to sort it out, we all stood their awkwardly in silence, and about 20 minutes later... the video played.
  
  I am by no means trying to compare a wedding to a funeral... but relying on technology for some major part of the wedding might be a recipe for disaster lol. Showing it at the rehearsal dinner or something might be better.

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• jules3964 member

  

  June 2014

  Yeah, at this point I'm definitely going with the suggestion to push for it to be shown at the rehearsal dinner, if anything. 

  
  

  OR, maybe the idea will die a horrible death on its own...

  FI thinks he can squash it pretty quickly by talking to his dad. I just need to get over my ridiculous need to please everyone.

  
  

  Thanks everyone for your thoughts and opinions!

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• offensivekitten2 member

  

  June 2014

  This was done to us as a surprise at our reception. Thankfully our mothers kept it classy, and it was short.
  
  It completely depends on the taste level of the people putting it together. Ours was cute and short enough that people seemed to enjoy it.
  
  We also had the projector on the wall running during the reception. We didn't expect it, but the DJ set it up without consulting us. NBD, but it did get old seeing photos from the ceremony over and over.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• princessleia22 member

  

  June 2014

  I'm also not a big fan of the photo montage/slideshow.  And luckily it isn't really common in my circle. If you must have one, I do like the idea of playing it at rehearsal or just in background during cocktail hours. That keeps it from being intrusive or distracting to your guests.

  I think you would also have the right to ask if you can review it before hand, "to make sure that it fits the atmosphere you are trying to portray for the wedding or rehearsal".  There could be images that someone else may not think are particularly embarrassing, but ones that you aren't exactly happy with or that you would rather not have shown. Or request that you & FI get to at least approve all photos before they are used for it. And maybe even set a time limit on it, so that they don't end up with an hour long video set to loud music. It never hurts to ask if you can have some input in it.

   

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• lovesclimbing member

  

  June 2014

  I know I'm in the minority, but love the video slideshows!  I think they're really fun to watch and I would actually prefer it if everything stopped to watch the video.

  
  

  If it was just playing in the background, I would stop and stand there and watch the whole thing. And if people came up to talk to me, I'd have to talk to them and then start over watching the video in order to catch the whole thing.

  
  

  Yes, I really like them that much!  Granted, I've only seen short ones. Maybe 4-5 minutes long, tops. And they've never been video montages as much as slideshows set to music. If it was much more than that, it'd probably be boring and awful.

  
  

  If videos are done, they need to be done by someone who's a decent video editor. Clips should be kept short and to the point. So if it's a video of 10-year-old-bride doing a cartwheel, the clip should be cut so it only shows about a second or two before the cartwheel and a second or two after, if that. No, *push record* "mom, are you ready? Is it on?" "Yes, it's on, go!" "What?" "It's on, go."  "OK, here I go."  *run, run, run, cartwheel" "Did you get it?" *shakiness while in the background you hear* "yes, it's aweso-" *stops the recording*

  
  

  ^^ That is what gets really annoying and awful, in my opinion.

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• ThisYearsGirl27 member

  

  June 2014

  Sorry if this is mean but maybe you can cross your fingers and pray that they don't get their act together to get the video actually done? Do you think they'll actually do it?

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• jules3964 member

  

  June 2014

  ThisYearsGirl27 said:

  Sorry if this is mean but maybe you can cross your fingers and pray that they don't get their act together to get the video actually done? Do you think they'll actually do it?

  Definitely not mean -- and probably one of the best possible scenarios!

  It's very probable it won't actually happen without some help on our part. If we don't take an active interest (which we are not), it may very well get dropped. 

  
  

  The next time it comes up, FI will suggest it be at the rehearsal dinner, if anything.

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• Blergbot member

  

  June 2014

  We put pics of my brother and his (ex) wife at different stages in their lives in frames all over the venue (it was a mansion, so there were mantel pieces and side tables, etc. all over the place. That was cute.

  
  

  Of course, that would be difficult for us. FI had a terrible accident as a toddler and had burns all over. There were definitely times, up until early 20s, where he wouldn't have been comfortable with the way he looked, so i feel like something like that would just bring up a lot of negative feelings.

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