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Two Weddings, One day - One Family, One Friend's

slr0522slr0522 member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
As it turns out, a close friend of mine and my grandmother are having their weddings on the same day.  I feel a bit conflicted right now about deciding which wedding to attend later this summer.  I feel like I have to choose my grandmother's wedding, but I'm feeling conflicted for a few reasons. 

My grandmother's wedding is in Colorado (I live in New York), travel will be very expensive and I will have to take time off from work, my SO won't be able to go, and this would be the second wedding I've attended for her.  I would love to attend my friend's wedding as this is his first time getting married and it is in our hometown.

I would love to be able to attend both, but that obviously isn't an option.  I'm worried about upsetting my mother and grandmother if I don't go to that wedding, but I really was looking forward to my friends' wedding.  Any insight on what I should do / how I should handle the situation would be greatly appreciated!
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Re: Two Weddings, One day - One Family, One Friend's

  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    My grandparents on my mom's side did not come to my wedding. Two hours was too long to travel for them. I don't love them less, and though I would have loved for them to be there, I really didn't miss them. There were so many other people/relatives to talk with.

    You have to ask yourself, which wedding will you regret missing more, and fo from there.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    It sounds like you really would prefer to go to your friend's wedding so I think that's what you should do.

    Let your grandmother know that you love her but due to travel expenses, work schedule, and other commitments you won't be able to make it. She might not be happy about it but that's life and in this situation someone is going to be disappointed so you do the best you can and do what works for you.


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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    It sounds like you'd really prefer to go to your friend's wedding. It's ok to miss family weddings. I've missed tons of my cousins' weddings and tons are miss mine.

    It also sounds like you'd be less than thrilled to attend grandmother's wedding even if you didn't have a conflicting event.

    We can't really tell you what to choose though. Which will you regret not attending more? What is your family dynamic like? If you chose not to attend grandmother's, I would write her a nice note and send a heartfelt/sentimental gift. 
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Go to the wedding you want. Tell gramma you're sorry but you already have plans on that day. You do. You plan to attend friends wedding.
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  • tcnobletcnoble member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    It sounds like you have plenty of valid reasons for not attending your grandma's wedding - travel, work, SO, etc. Not that you have to validate to her why you aren't attending, but you certainly have more than enough reason to choose attending your friend's wedding besides just plain wanting to go to that one more. Don't feel guilty - you can't attend EVERY family function.
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  • Fran1985 Fran1985 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    @Addiecake they are actually assigning those names now. You can't change to a username right away. Since she just joined yesterday apparently she can't even change for like 2 more days

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Before making the decision, I'd talk to your mom.  Explain to her what you've explained to us.  I hope she understands and you can go to your friend's with a clear conscious. 

    Write the most heartfelt card ever imagined too.  
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  • chkmeowtchkmeowt member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    and promise you'll go to the next one...

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    Kidding. Sort of. I know where you are coming from though. My grandpa has been married 6 or 7 times now.

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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Fran1985 said:
    @Addiecake they are actually assigning those names now. You can't change to a username right away. Since she just joined yesterday apparently she can't even change for like 2 more days
    @KnotPorscha - Curious, why the change?  Now, users are going to have to remember to go back in and change their name (if they can even find out where to change it).  Why change something that already works??  This makes no sense.
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  • Knottie40545622Knottie40545622 member
    First Comment
    Personally.. I would try your best and go to your grandmas wedding. Family trumps friendships. Especially immediate family. I would personally tell your friend the situation and that you need to try and attend your grandmas wedding.
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