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Wedding picture story

6fsn6fsn member
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in Wedding Woes

Disclaimer: tabathafaye, I am in no way shape or form implying this is the situation for you.  It sounds like your ILs really do like you and the bride was a bitch.  It just reminded me of something that happened at my wedding.

So my BIL and his wife have been together the same amount of time as DH and I.  After 2 years DH and I are getting married.  They are living together but not engaged.  MIL, sFIL, FIL, and sMIL do not like SIL. At the time of our wedding they REALLY didn't like her.  I mean like they were actively trying to break them up.  FIL even offered BIL $50k and a new truck to leave her.

Again they are not engaged.

I wasn't sure how MIL and FIL wanted to handle family pictures and I didn't want to get involved.  I knew there was (and is) bad blood with this woman and there are step brothers and step sisters all over the place.  I told them to get me a list of people they wanted in pictures.  If they wanted different family groupings, if they wanted just the parents and DH, whatever.  They each gave me lists of several shots.  Not one of them included SIL.

Until this moment it hasn't really crossed my mind that her feelings might have been hurt.  I kind of feel bad, but she's also kind of a bitch.  If she does feel bad I hope she blames me and not the parents though.

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Re: Wedding picture story

  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    And now I realize how much we all sound like assholes.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
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    edited June 2014
    sometimes, when you have more background, there's less assholeness.

    I mean, my baby sis and I made jokes for years that we were going to send my (slightly evil) grandmother newspaper clippings about our cousin (the one who was described as 'the apple of her eye')'s felony conviction (that she didn't seem to know about).  Sis doubled up the jokes when we were told 'it might kill her'.  (and no, she never sent them.  But she did think about it)

    Honestly, I do think in your story 6, the BIL (her BF) should have stood up "hey, SissyMcGhee isn't in any of these, lets include one with X and one with Y".  Ta-Da.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    edited June 2014

    I'm trying to remember if she was even in the church when we were taking pictures. 

    I didn't care if she was in the pics, but I didn't really feel it was my place to tell the ILs who should be in their family photos.

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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2014
    I made sure my sister's fiancé wasn't in any of our pictures.

    When they first started dating, he called me a bad dog mom. He has never offered an apology and will never be forgiven.


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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    6fsn said:

    I'm trying to remember if she was even in the church when we were taking pictures. 

    I didn't care if she was in the pics, but I didn't really feel it was my place to tell the ILs who should be in their family photos.

    I think the bolded is the key. It was your in-laws' decision. They didn't want her in the photos, rightly or wrongly. It might have hurt her feelings, and that's unfortunate, but it was a lose-lose situation. Either she was in the photos and they were upset or she wasn't and she was upset.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
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    I don't get it.  How are they the ILs' family photos if they're YOUR wedding pictures?  If the ILs wanted specific family photos, couldn't they have had their people of choice gather at Sears or something?
    image
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    ReturnOfKuus said:
     If the ILs wanted specific family photos, couldn't they have had their people of choice gather at Sears or something?
    It's probably the cold/allergy meds, but that made me laugh more than it should.  
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
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    mrs.conn23 said:
    ReturnOfKuus said:
     If the ILs wanted specific family photos, couldn't they have had their people of choice gather at Sears or something?
    It's probably the cold/allergy meds, but that made me laugh more than it should.  
    This made me laugh so hard I cried one day:

    http://someoneatethis.tumblr.com/search/chod
    image
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    ReturnOfKuus said:
    mrs.conn23 said:
    ReturnOfKuus said:
     If the ILs wanted specific family photos, couldn't they have had their people of choice gather at Sears or something?
    It's probably the cold/allergy meds, but that made me laugh more than it should.  
    This made me laugh so hard I cried one day:

    http://someoneatethis.tumblr.com/search/chod
    *quietly adds to tumblr dashboard*

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  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    HA! It's a weird family dynamic that I don't fully understand and could never explain. I was the last of 4 siblings to get married. My mom has a nice picture of the family on the wedding day and new she'd want one from our wedding. So I wasn't sure if the ILs wanted something similar. If they did I wasn't sure who they considered what. For FIL he wanted BIL, but not sMIL's kids. MIL wanted DH, BIL, and stepSIL. She wanted some that were just her and her sons. I know when the main photog was doing stuff with DH and I my sister grabbed the assistant and did some pics of her family and my brother followed suit. Now I'm remembering that my brother's wife wasn't even invited. They were separated at the time and he didn't want to bring drama. She and her parents sent a gift.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I am looking all kinds of sideways at requesting professional pictures of yourself and your kids alone at someone else's wedding.  Are they weird in general?
    image
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    My MIL? yes. 

    My sister and brother? Other people probably think they were weird.  The assistant wasn't doing anything so they asked.  I didn't even know about it until we got the proofs and there were 4 or 5 pics of my siblings and their kids.

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  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    Oh and MIL did actually ask for some pictures of just herself.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    We did at the costume wedding but it was after B&G left and I made sure the photographer knew we would order a set of our pictures, so that it wasn't a waste of her time.
    �
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    i think a few people on DK's side asked our photog to take a family picture of them - i'm assuming they had intended to purchase a print (or guilt FIL into buying one for them). That's the only reason that I can think we have several pictures of DK's extended family that we are not a part of.
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