Registry and Gift Forum

Making sure I've "done this right"

cleveraliascleveralias member
5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
edited May 2014 in Registry and Gift Forum
This is his first marriage, my 2nd. We are currently living together and while we have many things, I lost a lot of what I had previously a few years back. I didn't do a registry the first time around... it was a JP wedding planned at the very last minute (18 and pregnant). Decided to do the registry thing because I have 2 friends in two different cities that wish to hold showers, 1 local, and 1 in my home town. Doing an inexpensive registry at Walmart because in my home town, there is ONLY Walmart... nearest Target or BBB is a good 40-45 miles away.

 Inviting 100 people to the wedding. But, many people from back home who I am not inviting to the wedding still wish to come to the shower. I've created a small registry of 65 items.

 36 items under $25
 14 items between $25-$50
 13 items between $50-$100
 2 items above $100

Is this a good mix? Am I "doing this right"? :D

Re: Making sure I've "done this right"

  • This is his first marriage, my 2nd. We are currently living together and while we have many things, I lost a lot of what I had previously a few years back. I didn't do a registry the first time around... it was a JP wedding planned at the very last minute (18 and pregnant). Decided to do the registry thing because I have 2 friends in two different cities that wish to hold showers, 1 local, and 1 in my home town. Doing an inexpensive registry at Walmart because in my home town, there is ONLY Walmart... nearest Target or BBB is a good 40-45 miles away.

     Inviting 100 people to the wedding. But, many people from back home who I am not inviting to the wedding still wish to come to the shower. I've created a small registry of 65 items.

     36 items under $25
     14 items between $25-$50
     13 items between $50-$100
     2 items above $100

    Is this a good mix? Am I "doing this right"? :D
    The only people that should be invited to the shower are ones that you will be inviting to the wedding.  It's rude to do otherwise.

    As for the number of gifts, how many people will be attending the showers?  (Again, only people that will be invited to the wedding).  Then, think about the wedding......in your area, do most people give cash or do they give boxed gifts?  If they give gifts, you will need to take that into consideration.  
  • I'm not the one doing the invites for the hometown one.. and from what I understand, most people are "self-inviting"... very small town that I grew up in, went to church in, etc.   That particular shower I have very little control over the guest list.  If I had to guess, knowing the person hosting.. it will be anywhere from 15-30 people. 

    The local shower is only people invited to the wedding... it is being thrown by my MOH and she is just as keen on the etiquette as I am.  There will only be 15-20 people invited. 

    As far as what most people give here... I have NO idea.  I haven't been to a wedding in almost 8 years, and I've only been to 4 or 5 in my adult life. 
  • You need to get that guest list under control. Unless it's something like a shower of all church people hosted by all church people, you cannot have people invited who aren't invited to the wedding. "Self-invited" or not. If someone wants to send you a gift that badly, they can, but they should not be invited to a shower. Get on the same page with the host and you give her the list that should be invited.

    Once you have a better idea of the real guest numbers, take another look at your quantities. It doesn't look like enough selection for 50 guests, especially since multiple <$25 items may be given by one person. You don't want anyone feeling stuck buying the last thing left. Once you trim the guest list it may be ok.

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  • vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    You need to get the invite list under control. You cannot invite people to the shower that are not invited to the wedding. Very rude and comes off as gift grabby. You do have the right to say to the host, this is the list and the only list. No self invites. No exceptions. If the host cannot abide by this rule, then refuse the shower. The only exception to this is if it is a church shower where the entire congregation is invited in a church bulletin. We had a couple of people send gifts that were not on our wedding list. They got the information from our parents. Lolo's right, if they want to gift you that bad, they will send something. You can spend time with them when you go home, but it cannot be a wedding related event.
    ROCK IS KING!!
  • If you allow people to self-invite to a shower your are opening them up to possibly self-inviting to the wedding. I don't think you want to have that happen. Tell the hostess who is invited tot he wedding and that only those people are to be invited.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • I've already done that. I've also asked her to NOT mention it ANYWHERE on Facebook or Twitter so that if someone magically shows up uninvited, she can't blame social media. Having said that, I think the risk of "self invites" to the wedding is much lower due to the location.
  • You should have more items. People need choices and, like someone said, people might buy you more than one inexpensive gift. You don't want anyone feeling like they are being pigeon holed into buying you either an inexpensive gift when they wanted to get you something nicer off your registry or being stuck feeling like they have to buy the nicer gifts because the less expensive ones are taken. Bulk it up a bit. Yes, people can always give money or buy a gift on their own, but you're more likely to get something you like and will actually use if you pick it out yourself and add it to your registry. 

    Also, wedding guests and people who might not attend the showers will want to get you wedding gifts and you'll need enough for them to have options, as well. Maybe not just from Wal Mart, but from other stores, as well for those not in your hometown. 


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