Destination Bachelorette Party?

Re: Destination Bachelorette Party?

• thisismynickname2 member

  

  June 2014

  They are not rude inherently. 

  
  

  It gets to be rude if anyone guilt-trips anyone else into the trip. If all attendees are willing, consenting, and have the funds to spare, they can be really great. 

  
  

  Think of the movie Bridesmaids where Kristin Wig's (spelling?) character couldn't afford the trip to Vegas, but everyone discounted her opinion and went ahead with the plans. That's where the line gets drawn, IMHO.  

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• ladyamanuet member

  

  June 2014 edited June 2014

  I assume his folks aren't charging you for use of the condo? If that is the case, this bothers me way less than other DBs.
  
  But, to be fair, my annoyance at DBs comes from my age.  I am 30. I have a job, bills, 3 future step kids, limited vacation time....  asking me to drop several hundred dollars and a few vacation days for a bachelorette party is not something I think is worth it. UNLESS the bride is one of my best friends, OR the whole bridal party is a very tight knit group of friends - meaning it is basically a girls weekend.  Being invited to spend 4 nights out of town with girls I don't really know....  not worth the $300-$400 IMHO.  But, in your situation, where the costs are likely much less, then I would likely consider it, even if not very close to all the girls.
  
  Again, this is just my opinion... but I much prefer one night parties to whole weekends for events like Bachelorette parties
  ETF typo

  My reaction to most everything on the internet today:
  

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• carliealissa member

  

  June 2014

  It's rude to plan your own bachelorette party.  I see you aren't planning it, but you also say you plan on going to your FI family condo, so that seems a little like you are doing planning.

  To answer your specific question, you might get some mixed answers (I'm not sure), but I don't think a destination party in and of itself is rude at all.  Just expect not as many people will be able to go.  Also, this may go without saying, but destination parties are usually different in that you will probably be expected to pay your own way-  the guests may buy you drinks one night, but probably aren't going to shoulder your flight/everything else. 

  It may depend on your friends too-  I think I've seen some remarks on here from ladies that they would never go on a bach party trip, or that they would never spend more than $200 or something total (?!) for a bach party.  In my circles, destination trips are the norm.

   

  

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• pinkcow13 member

  

  June 2014

  I don't think it's rude. It is only rude if you plan it for yourself, or if anyone is forced to go - as PP mentioned about Bridesmaids. I think my bridesmaids have thrown Miami into the equation, but I told them not to feel that we have to do a destination thing if not everyone wants to, has the funds, or is comfortable with a destination bach trip. As long as I'm with my girls, I would be happy at a burger joint.

                               

  

  
  

   

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• sofakingmad member

  

  June 2014

  The only time I would find it rude is if a bride wanted an all expense trip paid by her friends.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226 member

  

  June 2014

  Thanks, everyone! I appreciate the comments and feedback.

  
  

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• offensivekitten2 member

  

  June 2014

  I think they aren't inherently bad, but people go crazy and demand attendance. Just be aware that some people won't be able to come and that it's not the apocolypse when it inevitably happens.
  
  For me personally, I was more concerned about everyone being able to attend. It was more about the people than the place for me. So local one night party it was.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• manateehugger member

  

  June 2014

  I only think they are bad when they are being demanded by the bride or when they make everyone's budgets explode. 

  
  

  I think you also have to be prepared for a smaller b-party. My b-party was technically a destination weekend thingy (my sisters generously covered lodging for everyone and it was within driving distance), but a few friends ended up being unable to attend as a result. 

  

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• knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226 member

  

  June 2014

  My mom, sister and most of my BMs have said they would love to go for sure and are planning on it so I'm pretty excited. If 1 or 2 can't come for whatever reason, I am expecting that and totally ok with it. 

  
  

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• love05312014 member

  

  June 2014

  If a friend asked me to be in her bridal party and then whomever planned it talked about going away for the bachelorette party, I'd decline, unless it was just for 1 night, and was within a short driving distance. I get limited vacation time at work and we are on a budget, so I'd feel exactly like Kritsin Whig in Bridesmaid's for the Vegas trip. I think it's a lot to ask of people. I work very hard in my career and enjoy the time off that I do get, and my fiance and I always plan trips together during the time we can both get off of work. 

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• carliealissa member

  

  June 2014

  courtneyhindo said:

  My mom, sister and most of my BMs have said they would love to go for sure and are planning on it so I'm pretty excited. If 1 or 2 can't come for whatever reason, I am expecting that and totally ok with it. 

  Maybe this won't be an issue for you, but just a warning- I had about 12 girls completely urging me (I was on the fence) to let my friend plan a destination party because they will SO BE THERE- now that it's been planned, and it's pretty low key, suddenly all but 3 have decided they can't go.  That's how it often goes.
  

   

  

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