This is super late, but whatevs. It's been that kind of day.
Dear Body,
I received your request to get sick, and I'm sorry but I'm going to have to veto it. Ain't nobody got time for that!
Sincerely,
Pretending My Throat Isn't Sore
Dear Lazy, Good-For-Nothing Coworker,
No, I will not do your job for you. You are the senior-most representative in this department, yet you receive the most complaints and have had publishers specifically request that you no longer handle their accounts. Get your shit together.
Sorry not sorry,
Tired of Cleaning Up Your Mess
Dear Chocolate,
Get in my body now. I need you inside me.
Seductively yours,
Liz