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OLW

eilis1228eilis1228 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited June 2014 in Not Engaged Yet
This is super late, but whatevs. It's been that kind of day. 

Dear Body, 
I received your request to get sick, and I'm sorry but I'm going to have to veto it. Ain't nobody got time for that! 
Sincerely, 
Pretending My Throat Isn't Sore 

Dear Lazy, Good-For-Nothing Coworker, 
No, I will not do your job for you. You are the senior-most representative in this department, yet you receive the most complaints and have had publishers specifically request that you no longer handle their accounts. Get your shit together. 
Sorry not sorry, 
Tired of Cleaning Up Your Mess  

Dear Chocolate, 
Get in my body now. I need you inside me. 
Seductively yours, 
Liz


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Re: OLW

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    CLoGreenEyesCLoGreenEyes member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    Dear clinical, I'm scared of you. Please don't be terrifying on my first day tomorrow. Sincerely, I don't want to participate in a code quite yet, kthxbai *** Dear brain, I don't know what happened to you last night, but the dreams and the waking up every hour and stuff wasn't cool. Please let me sleep well tonight, I need to function for the next two days! Love, Exhausted *** Dear TK, FOR REAL THOUGH WITH THE PARAGRAPHS
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    AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Dear ankle,
    Heal yourself already. I have a weekend of drunken shenanigans planned, and will not let you get in the way of it after the week I have had.

    No love,
    The rest of my body


    Dear Coworker,
    Why did you email to ask me 12 hours beforehand whether or not I will be in the office tomorrow, when you know that I had to unexpectedly stay home due to pain/being unable to walk today? I have no way to determine whether or not I will be able to walk tomorrow until, you know, tomorrow!

    Love,
    Your coworker with a severely sprained ankle


    Dear vegetables,
    Why can't you taste like pizza or cake?

    Love,
    The girl who wants to eat like she's 5 and not gain weight

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    FoxandBunnyFoxandBunny member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Dear Jobs,

    Please reveal yourself. I really need you.

    Pretty Please?
    Girl who needs a job

    _________

    Dear BF's mother,

    Thank god you're in Florida! It's been so nice at BF's house since you've been gone. However, texting me out of the blue is not cool, especially when you're blatantly trying to dig up information that you have no right to know.

    Seriously?
    Your Son's GF

    _________

    Dear BF,

    I can't wait to hang out with you tomorrow! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, but mostly because I haven't seen you since Saturday because you're so busy. I'm super excited about the zoo too.

    Love,
    Your awesome GF

    P.S. - Do you have to go to Disney World? I feel selfish for wanting you to be with me on my birthday for once, but seriously. I feel like your mom planned this trip to spite me. I know you'll have fun and I wish I could go, but you'll have to do without me.

    _________

    Dear Zoo Membership,

    WHY YOU SO EXPENSIVE? I know it evens out if I go 3 times in a year, but $80 is still a lot of money for a poor college student.

    No love,
    Girl who just wants to see the animals whenever without spending a buttload of money
    _________

    Dear California Chrome,

    Please win the Triple Crown. I really want to see one in my lifetime, but more importantly, I want my grandmother to see another one before she dies (hopefully not in the near future). I'm doubtful you'll do it, but I can hope, right?

    Run like the wind!
    Hopeful girl who will be glued to the TV all day Saturday
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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    ShallowSeasShallowSeas member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Dear BIL,

    I'm sorry things are a struggle right now. I really hope our conversation last night didn't put a kink into our relationship. Please don't be petty about it. I gotta do what I gotta do.

    Love,
    SIL

    --------------------------------

    Dear FI,

    I actually had fun staying up all night picking out music for our wedding and reception. I am really enjoying planning this wedding with you and sharing something like this with you. As stressful as it is, I'll miss it when it's over...but we have other things to plan for after the wedding ;) I can't believe we start working on wedding invitations  this weekend. Seriously, where have these months gone?? :):):):)

    Love,
    Your baby doll

    -------------------

    Dear nephew,

    I love you more than anything. You seriously melt my heart and I would do anything and everything for you. I can't wait to watch you grow up and teach you things and be your cool Aunt. You're the funniest person I know, even though you're only 2 and I hope I have kids as cool as you some day.

    Love,
    Aunt Shyshee

    ----------------------------

    Dear FMIL,

    I'm getting really excited about our shower. Its gonna be a lot of fun; wings and beer by the pool?! Yes please!  Thank you so much for doing this for us...hopefully FI sent you our invite list last night like he was suppose to....

    Love,
    FDIL

    ---------------------------

    Dear stomach,

    Whats the deal? Why are you all crampy and weird? I don't like it, and I especially don't like FI telling me I'm pregnant. Its not funny, so stop feeling weird so he'll stop saying that.

    No love,
    Owner
    Anniversary
    image
     
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    dear company-that-wants-me-to-work-for-them,

    THANKS FOR CALLING!!

    all the hugs and love,
    ready-for-something-new



    dear body,

    I know that we've been on antibiotics and steroids for a few months.  I know it's been rough.  I know that you're hugging the toilet every night after I pop my pills...  but PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stop with the growing belly.  I look crazy-pregnant and it's depressing.  it's weird and uncomfortable and I am down to just a few things to wear.  please, no moar.  I'll eat more salad and less donuts, but you have to do your part, too.

    no love,
    frustrated Coco
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    LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Dear Family,

    I get that celebrating birthday's isn't for everyone and that I get way more excited then I should, but for the love of God stop trying to get me to do what YOU want me to do. I get one day and I would like to use that day to do something with you that I want to do. Just because Step-Dad's crazy family decided to come that week doesn't mean that everything has to be planned around them or that they can join.

    Aggravated.

    -----------
    Dear self,

    GET IT TOGETHER. You are in no way okay with the way you look, but eating snacks every few hours and sitting on the couch is not helping. You need to get healthy STAT because this isn't working any more. 

    Self.

    -----------
    Dear cheer program,

    Please get it together. I hate that I am wanting nothing to do with you right now, but I am hoping it will all come together and be the best year yet.

    Coach
    friends tv show funy
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    Open letter thursday?

    Dear rain,

    Please stop so H and his parents can successfully move us completely today into our house! I can't believe last night was the last night I spent in our apartment. That means no sleep tonight.

    Love,
    Girl who is ready to be done moving

    Dear Maddux,

    I'm soooooooooo excited to pick you up next week! I want to get you now! But we need your crate first.

    Love,
    Your fur mommy!

    Dear H,

    I hope you go pick up your medicine today because if you keep on whining about your coughing and sneezing I don't want to hear it if you haven't tried to help fix it!

    Love,
    Your wife that wants you to feel better

    Dear ladies who sit next to me,

    You're annoying and sometimes you talk about really awkward things that make others sensitive so please just keep your mouths shut! Not everyone shares your opinion and it's going to make someone really angry.

    Sincerely,
    Your next door cubicle neighbor

    ETA: Grammar


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    Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Dear Wednesday,

    It's not Wednesday

    -Thursday

    Dear realtor and inspector,

    I swear I said 9 am Thursday? Do you think it's Wednesday too?!

    -client

    Dear house,

    I like you. Let's do this.

    -new owner to be

    Dear vampire,

    Please be nice to me tomorrow.

    -terrified of needles but trying to be good.

    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
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    BreMRBreMR member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Dear Job Lady,

    Can you please respond to my submitted resume?  I am perfect for the job and you cannot deny it :)

    Sincerely,

    Desperate for a paycheck

    Dear Daughter,

    I'm so happy today is your last day of kindergarten and am so excited to spend some fun summer time with you before I (hopefully) get a job! 

    Love,
    Your favorite person in the world :)

    Dear FI,
    I am so excited we are finally planning a wedding, but can you bring your expectations down a few budget tiers??

    Love,
    Your unemployed and dwindling savings wife-to-be

    image
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    Peaseblossom55Peaseblossom55 mod
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    Dear weather forecast,

    Rain on June 14th nope, you better change that.

    Me

    Dear FI,

    Sorry I'm stressing quite a bit, thank you for dealing with my crazinesss.  In 9 days I will be able to call you my husband.  I can't wait!!

    Love,

    Stressed FI

    Dear realtor,

    Seriously find a renter for the condo.

    Thanks,

    Landlord

    Dear Jewelry Store,

    No love, FI now has to scramble for a new wedding band, 9 days before the wedding. 

    Angry Bride to be

    Anniversary

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    LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    @Peaseblossom55,

    I just realized that you're getting married on my Birthday! Which is obviously the best day EVER. I just got so much more excited for your wedding than I already was!! 

    Caseface
    friends tv show funy
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    Peaseblossom55Peaseblossom55 mod
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    @caseface oh yay very cool!!!!!

    Anniversary

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    eilis1228eilis1228 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    lol When I started this, it was Wednesday, I swear! 


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    lmcooper86lmcooper86 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary

    Dear Wednesday,

    It's Thursday now, sucker!

    Love, getting close to the weekend

    ----------------------------

    Dear venue lady,

    Why exactly did you not bring a list of available dates when you met with us about, you know, having our wedding at your venue? Please email me those possible dates rightthissecond,  because then we might give you some money!

    Love, lmc and FI

    ----------------------------

    Dear sister,

    We have a date tonight! You're finally going to get to see my sparkly! And I'm finally going to get to confirm that you're obviously my MOH! AND we're getting our hair done! Is it 4:30 yet?

    Love, sistaaar

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Dear FI,

    I'm sorry I accidentally got you drunk last night. I didn't realize one glass of wine would interact with your meds that way, but I knew I was in trouble when you picked up a breadstick, looked at the entire length of it, then solemnly proclaimed, "Bread."

    I promise never to let you have booze again as long as you're on this stuff. Please forgive me?

    Love,
    Your FI
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    Peaseblossom55Peaseblossom55 mod
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    @TwoDimes I'm really hoping no rain too!

    Anniversary

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    loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Dear Ex-Stepmother,

    Thanks for torturing me so much as a teen that I still get horrible, vivid nightmares about you as a 26 year old woman.

    No love,
    The girl you tortured
    ----------------------------------------

    Dear Dad,

    Thanks for allowing all of that to go on.  I really enjoy waking up screaming and scaring my husband and cats.

    Sigh,
    God you're a shitty father.
    ----------------------------------

    Dear DH,

    You're right.  I don't know how I talk to my parents.

    I love you and want snuggles.
    ----------------------------------

    Dear Brother,

    You're kinda pissing me off lately.  I'm keeping my distance.

    Love,
    Sister who is pissed off
    ----------------------------------

    Dear @suzie211,

    Excited for shopping on Saturday.  Bring your game face.

    Signed,
    Shopping is a competitive sport for me.
    ------------------------------------

    Dear Boss,

    SUPER excited to go to LA on Monday.  I can't wait.

    Signed,
    Girl who has never been to California.
    ------------------------------------

    Dear Ladybits,

    FFS, get your shit together.

    No love, at all,
    Girl who's sick of ladybit problems

    image

    image
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    IrishDreamerIrishDreamer member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Dear dad, and boss lady,

    Dad, thank you for the plane tickets!!!
    Boss lady, thanks for approving vacation time!! I'm excited to travel with sister and seeing ya'll.

    Love,
    Girl who wants to go home to Philly

    Dear brother,

    My heart hurts that you didn't invite mom. I'm so so torn about it. Part of me wants to use my plus 1 to bring her.

    Love,
    Broken hearted sister

    Dear self,

    Go to the damn gym. You aren't coughing anymore, and really, who needs to breathe? Get fat ass in gear!!!

    Love,
    Tired of being sick and icky

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    ShallowSeasShallowSeas member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'm gonna be honest, I posted on this thread not even realizing it wasn't Wednesday...
    Anniversary
    image
     
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    eilis1228eilis1228 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    Dear Nose,
    Why you no work properly? And where the hell is all this mucus coming from? 
    No love,
    Mouth breather
    Dear Allergy Shots and the Allergy-Shot Nurse,
    You made me worse!
    Ugh,
    Sneezy


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