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It IS 'just hair'

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
I’m a 14-year-old girl and I’m trying to convince my mother to let me get a short haircut. My hair is past my shoulders and I almost never let it out of a ponytail. She won’t let me have it cut past her hair length, which is shoulder length. She’s paranoid about it because she had her hair cut into a pixie cut when she was pregnant with my two older sisters and hated it and thinks I’ll regret it as much as she did. I hate my hair long and I hate hot weather, which makes me all the more hateful toward my hair. She’s being unreasonable about this whole thing and my dad won’t help at all! What can I do to convince her to let me have my hair cut the way I want it, not how she wants it?


—It’s Just Hair

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Re: It IS 'just hair'

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    0Face0Face member
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    Uh oh. I see many battles on the horizon.
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    dharmabunnydharmabunny member
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    I guess "if I hate it, it will grow out, NBD" isn't compelling enough for mom.

    I realize hair is fraught with immense political/social/personal meaning for women...it's interesting how it plays out with toddler girls and their moms, also if a woman may need cancer treatment that has a good chance of causing hair loss.

    ...but mama's got to realize her daughter is not her and let her daughter make her own choices
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
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    Ha!  My mother was the opposite with my sister - repeatedly telling her to get her hair cut short because it looked so much better according to her.  Mothers are welcome to opinions, but this girl should just save up her money, pay for her own haircut, and tell her mother that she's at the age where she can make mistakes with her own hair.  It's her own appearance, and the girl is 14. 

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    dharmabunnydharmabunny member
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    Yeah, I'd consider just saving up and hitting up the Supercuts after school one day instead of band practice ;)
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    GBCKGBCK member
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    14 is the RIGHT age to get a cut you hate.  Because when you're 14, you have a certain amount of awkward that's SUPPOSED to be there.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
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    My mother was weird like this about my hair. I wasn't allowed to get bangs or layers of any sort until I was over 18 and she no longer had any legal say. This is some fucked up bodily ownership business rearing its ugly head, IMO.
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    She needs to just whack it off herself and present herself to her mother for the necessary F/U appointment with a stylist.
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
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    I don't understand this at all. Bacon got a pixie last year and loved it, but if she'd hated it, so what? It grows, yo. A haircut is not a permanent statement, and your kid's body is not something you own. 

    I hope this daughter rebels in a big, but not life-altering, way. Like, I hope she can still go to college or tradeschool or whatever she has planned, but I also want her to give her mother a huge fuck-you, because this is some over-controlling piddly bullshit. 
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    emmyg65emmyg65 member
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    I never understand this. It's just hair! The cool thing about it is that it grows back! What a dumb battle to fight with a teen.

    My grandmother was always made to have long hair, so she made me mom always have short hair. My mom decided the whole thing was stupid. My brother and I were able to do whatever we wanted with our hair. She would just pay for the cut, but we could pay for whatever color or whatever we wanted. 
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    VarunaTT said:
    She needs to just whack it off herself and present herself to her mother for the necessary F/U appointment with a stylist.


    Gah... stuck in the box.... this was my thought, too. 

    If my kid wants a short cut, or Duggar-length hair, she can choose. She can also dye it some fun color if she wants. (I'd probably do it for her.) Something like a tattoo or a body piercing, she can wait until she's 18 and legally allowed to sign for herself. (Although I have no problem going with her if she asks.) 
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    larrygagalarrygaga member
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    UMM my mom tried to force me to keep long hair when I was a kid, and I chopped it all off with kitchen scissors. She was so worried about my looks that she took me to a stylist to get it fixed up and I got the short hair I wanted.
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