Just Engaged and Proposals

Engagement Party Attendees

Dealing with a huge dilemma. It may not seem huge but with my family everything is a big deal. We are planning our engagement party and I want to include my whole family. Here is where the problem comes in... My family is big, so because of the limited amount of seating for the wedding we are setting an age limit of 18 AND we do not have enough room for my second cousins (some of who are over 18). Do you think it is okay to still invite these people to the engagement party even though they will not be invited to the wedding. And if so, do you think I should put a message in the engagement party invitations about this?

Re: Engagement Party Attendees

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Dealing with a huge dilemma. It may not seem huge but with my family everything is a big deal. We are planning our engagement party and I want to include my whole family. Here is where the problem comes in... My family is big, so because of the limited amount of seating for the wedding we are setting an age limit of 18 AND we do not have enough room for my second cousins (some of who are over 18). Do you think it is okay to still invite these people to the engagement party even though they will not be invited to the wedding. And if so, do you think I should put a message in the engagement party invitations about this?
    First, you should not be planning your engagement party.  If someone has offered to plan and throw one for you and you are just trying to figure out a guest list to give them, then good.  But if you are planning and throwing it for yourself then that is not so good.

    Anyone who is invited to any pre-wedding party, engagement party included, needs to also be invited to the wedding.  Period.

  • edited June 2014
    Well, just because we don't have the luxury of someone offering to host for us doesn't mean we can do it ourselves. Thanks for the input.
    Dealing with a huge dilemma. It may not seem huge but with my family everything is a big deal. We are planning our engagement party and I want to include my whole family. Here is where the problem comes in... My family is big, so because of the limited amount of seating for the wedding we are setting an age limit of 18 AND we do not have enough room for my second cousins (some of who are over 18). Do you think it is okay to still invite these people to the engagement party even though they will not be invited to the wedding. And if so, do you think I should put a message in the engagement party invitations about this?
    First, you should not be planning your engagement party.  If someone has offered to plan and throw one for you and you are just trying to figure out a guest list to give them, then good.  But if you are planning and throwing it for yourself then that is not so good.

    Anyone who is invited to any pre-wedding party, engagement party included, needs to also be invited to the wedding.  Period.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    No, you should not invite people to any wedding-related parties if they are not invited to the wedding.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    NYCMercedes
  • vsgalvsgal member
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Well, just because we don't have the luxury of someone offering to host for us doesn't mean we can do it ourselves. Thanks for the input.
    Dealing with a huge dilemma. It may not seem huge but with my family everything is a big deal. We are planning our engagement party and I want to include my whole family. Here is where the problem comes in... My family is big, so because of the limited amount of seating for the wedding we are setting an age limit of 18 AND we do not have enough room for my second cousins (some of who are over 18). Do you think it is okay to still invite these people to the engagement party even though they will not be invited to the wedding. And if so, do you think I should put a message in the engagement party invitations about this?
    First, you should not be planning your engagement party.  If someone has offered to plan and throw one for you and you are just trying to figure out a guest list to give them, then good.  But if you are planning and throwing it for yourself then that is not so good.

    Anyone who is invited to any pre-wedding party, engagement party included, needs to also be invited to the wedding.  Period.

    Actually, yes it does.  Lots of us did not have an engagement party.  You are not entitled to one.  Your wedding will still be valid without one.  You throwing your own engagement party comes off as AW and gift grabby. Someone else needs to OFFER and then they plan it.  No one offers?  Then you don't get one.  Simple as that.
    ROCK IS KING!!
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Meh...the engagement party is the one party I don't care if a couple plans for themselves.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You aren't entitled to an engagement party or any other pre-wedding party. If someone doesn't offer to throw you one then you just don't get one. Life goes on.
    Anniversary
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