Just Engaged and Proposals

Ring woes

My fiancé shopped for a ring with his mother for months but couldn't find one he liked. He finally found one but he wasn't fond of the center stone. He had the center stone replaced with one of my mothers diamonds. The ring is very special to me because he helped to customize it, but I don't like the way it looks. It's just not me. I had sent him many pictures of what I liked but this is nothing close to it. I think his mother may have had a lot of influence in picking it out and that's why it's so different. What do I do? Tell him or hope I grow to like the look?

Re: Ring woes

  • BreMRBreMR member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I actually had nightmares that my bf would buy me a ring that I wouldn't like (how horrible am I?) I don't have a lot of experience with disliking the ring, but I feel like If he had proposed to me with something I didn't like I would have had to tell him.  You don't want to have to lie to him about loving your ring, and I'm sure he would rather you have something you love.

    image
  • If you're going to tell him, I would do it sooner than later in case the store has a short return policy or anything like that. If the solution is easier, than I would imagine your fiance would be less hurt. 
  • ps- can you post pictures of rings that you DO like? I'm curious. 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Honestly, I could never tell my H that I didn't like the ring that took him months to pick out.  I don't think it matters when you tell him, you will hurt his feelings.  It is just inevitable.

    If you really do not like the ring then you need to speak up, I mean you will be wearing this ring for the rest of your life.  But just know that you will probably hurt his feelings by doing so, so just be gentle about it.  

    lilacck28CamiSeleneemmaaa
  • Did you end up telling him? I think I would have a hard time telling. When I first got my ring, part of my internal response was I wasn't sure was 1000% on board because the setting was a little different, mainly higher than preferred, but didn't say anything, have worn it around and truly I love my ring and wouldn't trade it for anything. It's up to you and how you truly feel, if want to wear it and see if it wears on you, but if you really really dislike it then just be kind and gentle when you talk to your FI about it. 
  • I told my man that I was picky about rings and I'm the type that if I'm going to wear It for the rest of my life I need to love it,so we started looking at rings,i found one I loved and he loved it too and 2 months later he proposed with it too me! their is nothing wrong with dropping hints and admiring rings in stores when your together,i'd rather be happy with the ring I wanted than not.
    mariesl
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I told my man that I was picky about rings and I'm the type that if I'm going to wear It for the rest of my life I need to love it,so we started looking at rings,i found one I loved and he loved it too and 2 months later he proposed with it too me! their is nothing wrong with dropping hints and admiring rings in stores when your together,i'd rather be happy with the ring I wanted than not.
    Yeah, but that ship has sailed for OP.  Her FI has already proposed with a ring that she doesn't like.  Dropping hints about rings you like at this point really won't help her.

    lilacck28fb82
  • @Maggie0829 Almost everything you've posted lately is exactly what I have wanted to say! 
  • I was in a very similar situation. Mine was a solitaire, which I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATED, which belonged to his mom. I was, however, lucky it was a simple design because we ended up getting a wrap for it. I was scared to say anything but I had to do it, so I was very careful with my wording. Is it just the center stone or the whole ring? You my have some options to tweak it. Ill expan on my devious plot once we know more lol
  • fb82fb82 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2014
    I have a similar problem. :( My fiance let me pick out my engagement ring and it has a matching wedding band. He wanted to surprise me with the ring even though I picked it out lol. So he went to the store later without me to buy it. Little did I know he bought the wedding band too. I thought he was just going to get the engagement ring and then we would go back together later to get both of our wedding bands. Well he went ahead and got both my engagement ring and wedding band but he somehow got the wrong band. :( It's not the one that is the exact match to the engagement ring. It's very similar and no one will probably notice unless they grab my had and look closely (which some people do though lol). So I'm trying to figure out if and or how to tell him I want the exact matching band. It's especially hard because I don't think the one he got can be returned since it's already been sized. I don't really want to have to go through the trouble of trying to sell it or something. If it can't be returned to the store it will be too much trouble and I'd feel really bad. :(
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