Wedding Etiquette Forum

Strangers watching me try on dresses

lilacck28lilacck28 member
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edited June 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm going wedding dress shopping this weekend (yay!). My mom asked me last week if I would mind/ want to invite our neighbor X to come with us for an appointment or two. Originally, I only really wanted to go with my mom, but I love X. I've known her since I was a little girl, and she's my mom's best friend. She and her family will definitely be invited to the wedding. So I told my mom "okay, that could be nice. Make sure she actually wants to go though, and doesn't feel obligated." 

Today my dad informed me that X called, and during the conversation mentioned how fun it will be, and that it will be a whole lady's day out. Apparently, and I hope my dad got the information wrong, X invited a few other neighbor ladies to come with us. My parents live in a really cute little neighborhood with coldesacs (sp?). Very much like Wisteria Lane from "desperate housewives" if you've ever seen it. X is very popular. She knows everyone in the neighborhood. My mom knows some people through X, but my mom works a lot and we're just less social than X. And I don't think I've ever met these other women. So... the prospect of going dress shopping with women I've never met seems really strange and potentially embarrassing for me. Strangers will see my bare back when half the dresses I try on will be too small. 

 I'm hoping X just wanted to do a lunch out with ladies of the neighborhood, and was including me, which has nothing to do with my upcoming wedding. But if she really did invite them... well, I'd get over it to avoid awkwardness, even though I think it will take away a lot of the meaningfulness/ fun of dress shopping. Like I said, I can get over that. I can go shopping again without them. But, if my dad was correct, besides the fact that it was rude for her to invite extra people, I'm more concerned that it will be rude for us(my mom and me) to allow people to come watch me try on wedding dresses (therefore, a prewedding event) who I have absolutely no intention of inviting to my wedding. Ahh, the craziness.

ETA: sorry, knot formatting is not letting me use paragraphs today. more craziness. 

Re: Strangers watching me try on dresses

  • I agree with PP. I think it would be hard enough to go with people you love and value their opinions but to have to hear random opinions from people you don't know very well would be very difficult, even if you tune them out
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  • I am most likely going to follow all of your suggestions. But, if I forsake my own comfort, and just go with it... will that be rude to these extra ladies whom I do not intend to invite to the wedding?
  • lilacck28 said:
    I am most likely going to follow all of your suggestions. But, if I forsake my own comfort, and just go with it... will that be rude to these extra ladies whom I do not intend to invite to the wedding?
    I think it's rude, but even if it isn't, I think it would be pointless to ask people to see the dress you are going to be married in if they're not going to see you marry.  
  • lilacck28 said:
    I'm going wedding dress shopping this weekend (yay!). My mom asked me last week if I would mind/ want to invite our neighbor X to come with us for an appointment or two. Originally, I only really wanted to go with my mom, but I love X. I've known her since I was a little girl, and she's my mom's best friend. She and her family will definitely be invited to the wedding. So I told my mom "okay, that could be nice. Make sure she actually wants to go though, and doesn't feel obligated." 

    Today my dad informed me that X called, and during the conversation mentioned how fun it will be, and that it will be a whole lady's day out. Apparently, and I hope my dad got the information wrong, X invited a few other neighbor ladies to come with us. My parents live in a really cute little neighborhood with coldesacs (sp?). Very much like Wisteria Lane from "desperate housewives" if you've ever seen it. X is very popular. She knows everyone in the neighborhood. My mom knows some people through X, but my mom works a lot and we're just less social than X. And I don't think I've ever met these other women. So... the prospect of going dress shopping with women I've never met seems really strange and potentially embarrassing for me. Strangers will see my bare back when half the dresses I try on will be too small. 

     I'm hoping X just wanted to do a lunch out with ladies of the neighborhood, and was including me, which has nothing to do with my upcoming wedding. But if she really did invite them... well, I'd get over it to avoid awkwardness, even though I think it will take away a lot of the meaningfulness/ fun of dress shopping. Like I said, I can get over that. I can go shopping again without them. But, if my dad was correct, besides the fact that it was rude for her to invite extra people, I'm more concerned that it will be rude for us(my mom and me) to allow people to come watch me try on wedding dresses (therefore, a prewedding event) who I have absolutely no intention of inviting to my wedding. Ahh, the craziness.

    ETA: sorry, knot formatting is not letting me use paragraphs today. more craziness. 
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  • I wouldn't just grin and bear it. Emotions run high during the process, and you will be very vulnerable to the smallest criticism. All it would take is a couple thoughtless comments, and it's crying, not wanting to continue, etc.

    An alternative is to cancel due to a 'scheduling conflict', then do a covert small run without the peanut gallery. That way you can reserve the best picks, and so the 'official' try- on knowing you look like a million bucks.



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  • It was super awkward when the consultant put a panel over my butt because the zipper of one of the dresses was busted. My FMIL saw the open zipper and I said "I promise that isn't my butt." Yeah, that, but with 10 people you don't even know? No thanks! One minute of awkwardness of saying, "I really don't want there to be this many people, can we just have me, you, and X?" will save you from an hour + of awkward moments.
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  •  
    lilacck28 said:
    I am most likely going to follow all of your suggestions. But, if I forsake my own comfort, and just go with it... will that be rude to these extra ladies whom I do not intend to invite to the wedding?
    You are being too nice. This is more than just forsaking your own comfort. This should be an exciting day with the people YOU want to be there. If that is just your mom, speak up. This is one situation I will say that it is YOUR day to go shopping for YOUR dress. Say something like PP's have said.
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  • No way would I agree to a bunch of strangers coming along for dress shopping. Hell, I went ALONE when I first looked at dresses. It was just me and the consultant. Then I ended up buying my dress online. Tried it on for the first, second, and third times alone. No one saw me in a dress until I had made my final decision already.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • Ew, no - I'd put an end to this real quick if I were you.  I only took my Mom and FMIL, and it was even weird to have FMIL there (but that was just me).
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  • Wonderfull to hear.

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  • Crisis averted!
  • Oooh lord that is good to read!
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    out.

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