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Seating Assignments?

weddingmcgeeweddingmcgee member
25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
in Wedding Reception Forum
We are having a smaller wedding of about 45-50 guests. We are having the ceremony and reception at the same location. We have rented the conference room, veranda, and deck at a lake in our hometown (Raleigh, NC). If the weather cooperates, we'd like to spend as much time outside as possible. However, we are setting up tables inside the conference room for dinner (enough room, near the food). Dinner is a buffet. The wedding is pretty informal, very laid back and we are skipping a lot of the usual wedding formalities.

Originally I thought everyone could just help themselves the food and then find a seat wherever. There are tables outside at the venue, which I figured people could sit at if they wanted, or sit at tables inside. I was going to reserve a couple tables pushed together for the wedding party and immediate family.

Then I started thinking... does is serve the guests better and make things more enjoyable for them to have assigned tables? Then we could make sure that certain family members get to sit together. Or put our younger adult friends together if we think the might get along. Or, do guests sometimes get annoyed if you tell them where they have to sit? I understand that it is necessary for larger weddings, but with under 50 guests I'm wondering if it is still necessary or if it's simply a good idea so people enjoy who they're sitting with. Or, if letting people pop a squat wherever they like is okay and will allow guests to mingle more. 

Thanks in advance! 
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Re: Seating Assignments?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I believe that most of your guests will want to sit in the conference room with you and your SO.  I know if I were a guest I would feel odd to sit outside while the newly married couple sat inside.

    Typically if you allow guests to sit wherever they want you generally need about 10% in extra seating/tables since not all tables will fill up and you don't want to have tables with only 1 open seat and then a couple may have to split up.

    In my area, assigned tables are the norm and are preferred.  I just like the fact that I don't have to think about where I am sitting and wandering around the room trying to find a seat with people I know and hoping there are enough seats.  It is also nice to have a 'home base', somewhere I can leave my purse/camera/coat or wrap.  Also, once dinner is over most people will get up and mingle and pretty much sit wherever they want so they will really only be 'assigned' to a table for about an hour.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2014
    I prefer assigned tables to having to find one for myself, especially at a buffet, because when seats are open, I then have to go around getting food and drinks while managing my belongings and then trying to find an "unreserved table" with an open seat and carry all my things along with a heavy tray of food and drink to it-while dressed up. It's not a pleasant experience-especially when you don't know others there, and many of the other guests have taken up whole tables for themselves and their families and friends and only left a few free that you have to hunt for like a kid in a school cafeteria. Edited to add: Also, guests are going to want to sit in the same room as the couple, so I'd put everyone in the same area. Putting anyone outside the area where the couple is could lead to the idea, however erroneous, that there are "preferred" and "unpreferred" seats.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I prefer assigned tables. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    StephM161984 said:
    I'm letting my guests sit where they like with the exception of having reserved tales for immediate family and my grandmother.
    Whenever I see this, I feel like there's the first class VIPs that have an assigned table and the second class citizens that have to fend for themselves.

    OP - I prefer assigned tables for everyone.  
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  • Knottie45547263Knottie45547263 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    We are having 44 guests and we're assigning tables. 
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    StephM161984 said:
    I'm letting my guests sit where they like with the exception of having reserved tales for immediate family and my grandmother.
    This becomes very confusing for your guests who don't get an assigned table. I went to a wedding last fall where they had 6 tables that were assigned and there were 200 guests. After we looked through the assigned tables and wandered around trying to figure out where the rest of the list was someone finally told us that if we weren't on the list then we just sit wherever. By the time we realized we weren't important enough to be on the list we ended up sitting at a table for 10 outside with only 2 other (unimportant people) and we couldn't even see anything that was happening. It was rude of the hosts and made us feel like they didn't really care if we were there or not because we weren't important enough for them to want to make sure we had a place to sit. Please either do assigned seats for everyone or for nobody.

    OP- we had 35 guests at our wedding and we still did assigned tables. It worked out very nicely and I think everyone appreciated knowing where to sit.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    I prefer assigned tables to having to find one for myself, especially at a buffet, because when seats are open, I then have to go around getting food and drinks while managing my belongings and then trying to find an "unreserved table" with an open seat and carry all my things along with a heavy tray of food and drink to it-while dressed up. It's not a pleasant experience-especially when you don't know others there, and many of the other guests have taken up whole tables for themselves and their families and friends and only left a few free that you have to hunt for like a kid in a school cafeteria. Edited to add: Also, guests are going to want to sit in the same room as the couple, so I'd put everyone in the same area. Putting anyone outside the area where the couple is could lead to the idea, however erroneous, that there are "preferred" and "unpreferred" seats.
    I just want to say, for those that are choosing not to have assigned tables, that if I were a guest at that wedding I would most likely find a table to sit at, plop my stuff down at me seat to "claim" it and then head to the buffet to get some food. I would not carry all my shit with me, get my food, get my drink and then walk around trying to find a place to sit.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Maggie0829 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    I prefer assigned tables to having to find one for myself, especially at a buffet, because when seats are open, I then have to go around getting food and drinks while managing my belongings and then trying to find an "unreserved table" with an open seat and carry all my things along with a heavy tray of food and drink to it-while dressed up. It's not a pleasant experience-especially when you don't know others there, and many of the other guests have taken up whole tables for themselves and their families and friends and only left a few free that you have to hunt for like a kid in a school cafeteria. Edited to add: Also, guests are going to want to sit in the same room as the couple, so I'd put everyone in the same area. Putting anyone outside the area where the couple is could lead to the idea, however erroneous, that there are "preferred" and "unpreferred" seats.
    I just want to say, for those that are choosing not to have assigned tables, that if I were a guest at that wedding I would most likely find a table to sit at, plop my stuff down at me seat to "claim" it and then head to the buffet to get some food. I would not carry all my shit with me, get my food, get my drink and then walk around trying to find a place to sit.
    You and me both, but this runs the risk that someone will move one's things while one is at the buffet or even steal them.  My father lost a camera at a wedding that way.
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  • DanikaMarie0227DanikaMarie0227 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Another vote for assigned seating. I feel as though assigned seats are generally expected at weddings and for reasons PPs have stated - it can be inconvenient to not have one. People will still have plenty of time to mingle and enjoy the other areas of your venue after dinner.
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  • lkristenjlkristenj member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper

    Most weddings I have been to did not assign seating. This was fine but normally meant that our large group of friends (there are 23 of us "buddies" that all go to each-other's weddings) needed to be split among several tables.

    The most recent wedding we attended, the venue had a problem and it ended up being a very awkward situation. Basically, I guess they hadn't set up at the hotel conference/ballroom yet when guests began arriving. So, they normally would have tables reserved for the family and wedding party, but did not. Actually, I think they had 3 tables reserved. So, our group found tables out of the way but still nearby the bride and groom and staked our claim. Apparently, the 3 reserved tables were not enough. So, one of "our" tables was "changed" into a reserved table. So, that group of 10 relocated. Then the other table was marked reserved and everyone had to get up and find another table. Then the table that the first group had moved to was marked reserved. By then, more people had arrived and staked claims on other tables with their smaller groups, leaving many tables out for us since our group took up 2 whole tables. We ended up being scattered around, not sitting together, and some of us did not even really have a seat. I account that to poor planning by the venue, but it was frustrating.

    Most weddings I've attended have had open seating with a few tables marked reserved to ensure that family and wedding party had a place to sit. It has not generally been a problem except in this one instance and we were usually able to find a place to sit somewhat together even with a large group.

    I still have not decided about whether I will assign seating or not.

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