wording - plus ones

leelabear · June 2014

I would like to invite certain people to the wedding and not their boyfriend of the month who I dont even know or even have the name of. For example, I'm inviting my cousin and her kids. So can I just send one invite with everyone's names (everyone I want to go) on the front spelt out. Then only put in 1 RSVP card. Will this get across who is and isn't invited?

manateehugger · June 2014

leelabear said:

I would like to invite certain people to the wedding and not their boyfriend of the month who I dont even know or even have the name of. For example, I'm inviting my cousin and her kids. So can I just send one invite with everyone's names (everyone I want to go) on the front spelt out. Then only put in 1 RSVP card. Will this get across who is and isn't invited?

If someone is in a relationship, you have to invite their significant other. It doesn't matter if you think the significant other wont be around for long. If someone says, "This is my boyfriend/girlfriend," you must invite them. If someone is truly single, then you do not have to give them a plus one.

You indicate who is invited by listing the names of those invited on the envelope. If someone tries to add in a guest who is not listed, then you are allowed to call the guest back up and say, "I'm sorry for the confusion, but the invite is only for those listed on the envelope." Again though, you must invite ALL significant others.

Also, every invite will have only one RSVP card, so I'm confused by your post in that regard.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

Like PDKH said, anyone who deems themselves in a relationship, regardless of length, should be invited with their SO. If someone is just casually dating a variety of people and deems themselves single then they do not have to get invited with a plus one.

Also, invites get one RSVP card. Typically the people who are coming will write in their names so you know exactly who is coming.

leelabear · June 2014

@ PDKH

If I HAVE to invite her boyfriend, how should I write that on the envelope? "Jane Doe, Plus One". I don't know his name. I could call to find out and then print his name by hers. "Jane Doe and John Doe". By the time, the wedding rolls around, it will be a different guy.

Someone was telling me that if you send one invite to a house hold of multiple people, you have to have an RSVP card for each person. I disagreed.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

leelabear said:

@ PDKH
If I HAVE to invite her boyfriend, how should I write that on the envelope? "Jane Doe, Plus One". I don't know his name. I could call to find out and then print his name by hers. "Jane Doe and John Doe". By the time, the wedding rolls around, it will be a different guy.
Someone was telling me that if you send one invite to a house hold of multiple people, you have to have an RSVP card for each person. I disagreed.

You call your friend and find out her boyfriends name. Do this when it gets closer to the time to send out the invites. And please don't judge your friends relationships. You never know when the person she is with right now may actually be the one for her.

As for the RSVPs. Any adult guest should receive their own invitation even if they live with their parents or in a house with other individuals who are also getting invited. So if you want to invite Jane but she lives with her parents then you send two separate invites, one to her and her SO and one to the parents.

AddieCake · June 2014

Ask for names.

NYCMercedes · June 2014

You're making this way too complicated. When you are addressing the invitations, call her and ask her if she's in a relationship. If she says yes, ask her the name so you can out it on the invitation. Assuming her children are young, enclose one RSVP card with the invitation.

manateehugger · June 2014

NYCMercedes said:

You're making this way too complicated. When you are addressing the invitations, call her and ask her if she's in a relationship. If she says yes, ask her the name so you can out it on the invitation. Assuming her children are young, enclose one RSVP card with the invitation.

Seriously. You text and say, "Hey are you seeing anyone? If so, we wanted to get his/her name on the envelope." Anyone we weren't sure about status when it came to relationships and FB declined to inform us, this is what he did. It was fine.

And no, whoever said multiple RSVP cards knows nothing about weddings. One invitation = one RSVP. Whoever is invited on that one invitation will respond on that one RSVP.

MyNameIsNot · June 2014

leelabear said:

@ PDKH
If I HAVE to invite her boyfriend, how should I write that on the envelope? "Jane Doe, Plus One". I don't know his name. I could call to find out and then print his name by hers. "Jane Doe and John Doe". By the time, the wedding rolls around, it will be a different guy.
Someone was telling me that if you send one invite to a house hold of multiple people, you have to have an RSVP card for each person. I disagreed.

_______________
Stuck in the box
_______________
Call/text and get his name when you are about to send the invitation. FB is a good tool for this, too.
If she ends the relationship before the wedding, she comes alone. Invitations are not transferable.

leelabear · June 2014

Alright, Thanks everyone. I'll call her and find out right before I mail them.

@Maggie 0829. Thanks for heads up on the invites for multiple adults in a house hold. I did that with the save the dates for my Aunt who lives with my Grandmother.

In response to your comment “And please don't judge your friends relationships”. The woman I was referencing to isn't a friend. She is a cousin who is a pill popping drug addict and shoplifter. Her last boyfriend was homeless and actually robbed my grandmother of her pain killers. People like my cousin are the reason why couples have to put locks on the card box. I’m only inviting her to keep the peace in the family. Let’s just say it’s hard not to judge her or her revolving relationships.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

leelabear said:

Alright, Thanks everyone. I'll call her and find out right before I mail them.
@Maggie 0829. Thanks for heads up on the invites for multiple adults in a house hold. I did that with the save the dates for my Aunt who lives with my Grandmother.

In response to your comment “And please don't judge your friends relationships”. The woman I was referencing to isn't a friend. She is a cousin who is a pill popping drug addict and shoplifter. Her last boyfriend was homeless and actually robbed my grandmother of her pain killers. People like my cousin are the reason why couples have to put locks on the card box. I’m only inviting her to keep the peace in the family. Let’s just say it’s hard not to judge her or her revolving relationships.

Honestly I wouldn't invite your Cousin. If she has a history of stealing that is a very good reason to keep her off her guest list and screw what your family has to say.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

Maggie0829 said:

leelabear said:

Alright, Thanks everyone. I'll call her and find out right before I mail them.
@Maggie 0829. Thanks for heads up on the invites for multiple adults in a house hold. I did that with the save the dates for my Aunt who lives with my Grandmother.

In response to your comment “And please don't judge your friends relationships”. The woman I was referencing to isn't a friend. She is a cousin who is a pill popping drug addict and shoplifter. Her last boyfriend was homeless and actually robbed my grandmother of her pain killers. People like my cousin are the reason why couples have to put locks on the card box. I’m only inviting her to keep the peace in the family. Let’s just say it’s hard not to judge her or her revolving relationships.

Honestly I wouldn't invite your Cousin. If she has a history of stealing that is a very good reason to keep her off her guest list and screw what your family has to say.

So much this. Screw "keeping the peace" if this is someone who has harmed your family in any way. Judging her relationships is wrong, but you can absolutely judge her actions toward your family.

MyNameIsNot · June 2014

leelabear said:

Alright, Thanks everyone. I'll call her and find out right before I mail them.
@Maggie 0829. Thanks for heads up on the invites for multiple adults in a house hold. I did that with the save the dates for my Aunt who lives with my Grandmother.

In response to your comment “And please don't judge your friends relationships”. The woman I was referencing to isn't a friend. She is a cousin who is a pill popping drug addict and shoplifter. Her last boyfriend was homeless and actually robbed my grandmother of her pain killers. People like my cousin are the reason why couples have to put locks on the card box. I’m only inviting her to keep the peace in the family. Let’s just say it’s hard not to judge her or her revolving relationships.

Your cousin has a twin: my cousin. I didn't invite him. The peace can suck it, I wasn't inviting someone who routinely steals from family to my wedding. (And I invited multiple felons.) Bonus, I didn't have to invite his meth addict prostitute (literally) girlfriend either. It turned out he was in jail that week, so it didn't matter.

It's hard not to judge these losers as humans, but you still shouldn't judge the validity of her relationship, KWIM?

leelabear · June 2014

Thanks guys. Maybe you are right. Perhaps I'll send that invite late and not put a stamp on the RSVP card's envelope. Its out of state so there is a good chance she won't go anyways.

OR ill just deal with the wrath of the family and not invite.

wording - plus ones

Re: wording - plus ones

Choose Another Board

Search Boards