I feel both bad and liberated at the same time. My mom has been driving me insane with all the things she's demanding me to change about my wedding and her telling everyone that she's paying for the entire wedding when the only thing she has paid for is the dress. I've paid about $15k or so towards the wedding, where as she's paid for a $500 dress. Every time I'd hear her say that, it'd grate on me, irritate me, but I just kept my mouth shut. She had been pestering me about the rehearsal dinner as she wanted to hold it at the country club she's a part of and I told her that I had to be there with her when she booked it so that I have the peace of mind that it is done, since she has not been reliable for anything but being unreliable. She surprised me and agreed and my mom, my grandma and I all went to the country club to meet with the event coordinator. I thought everything was going well until they asked about what I wanted to do for a bar option. My wedding is dry for multiple personal reasons both for myself, my dad's side of the family, my fiance, and his side of the family, especially his sister who had been a victim in a drunk driving accident that had left her in a coma for months. I declined having a bar only to be undermined by my mother who said yes to an open bar at the rehearsal and then told me I should also have a bar at the reception or else it will come off that she would look cheap. I just sat there grinding my teeth. Then she brought up that there is a gap between the ceremony and reception, not a big one, but I had reserved a private showing of a movie at a movie theater that is just down the street from the reception venue. We decided that instead of a cocktail hour, we were going to have a little movie party. What's more, we have scheduled transportation to shuttle the wedding guest to the ceremony, movie theater, and reception as well as the hotel at the end of the night. She doesn't like the idea and had been badgering my about just moving the time of the reception to 30 minutes after the ceremony. I had tried, but my other vendors wouldn't be able to make it in time if we pushed the reception time forward, we'd just have a big empty space that people would get in the way of the vendors setting up. She brought up that I should just get new vendors and cancel my contract with the vendors. The thing that pushed me over the edge was that she said that she wouldn't mind losing the deposits. At that point I couldn't contain my frustration with her and snapped at her telling her of course she doesn't mind losing the deposit because it was my money she'd be losing, not hers, brought up where in the world would we find GOOD vendors who would be available for the time she wanted the reception less than 50 days out from the wedding. I then brought up I was appalled by the fact that she cannot accept my wishes for my wedding about not having a bar of any kind. I feel the part that I probably shouldn't have said is that she's had her fairytale wedding twice, and both ended in disaster and that I don't want that to happen with mine. I do feel a little bad, but at the same stand point I feel liberated as she has left me alone for the past couple days and it seemed to shut her up. I have apologized up and down to my grandma for having to endure our fight, but she said she understood and that she was actually disappointed that my mom had lied about what all she had paid for.
I really want to know though, was I in the wrong for snapping at my mom? I feel a little bad, but after all I've put up with, I feel it was deserved.