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Knottie04597369 · June 2014

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jneen101 · June 2014

So we are having a small destination wedding. Didn't want to bother with long distance wedding party drama so we just planned on a maid of honor and best man. I picked my oldest friend who I don't talk to everyday or anything but who has known me longer than anyone and who played a part in getting my fiance and me together. When I asked her she had tears of joy, lots of ideas, asking how she could help and all that. Fast forward a few months and we aren't talking as much. She starts back up talking to a long distance boyfriend who backed out of marriage several years ago. So we go shopping for dresses for her and it's painful. She keeps obviously hating them, but won't come out and say why. Thank God we find one that fits her perfectly and she's on board. Fast forward another month and I get texts saying she's going to marry the ex now. But don't worry it won't be until after your wedding because it's going to be in Vegas and we want you to be there. By the next week the wedding is in August, two months before mine, oh and she's picked out her wedding dress, and "whoever can come, can come". Not one check on how my plans are going, no mention of ordering her dress for my wedding. I told her to do whatever makes her happy, but I lied. I'm really hurt. I regret ever asking her and want to just say 'screw it' let's not have anyone stand with us. Just have it be us and tell her not to worry about being MoH. She hasn't done anything for me yet anyway. I also don't think we'll be going to her wedding. We just can't afford it with two months notice. All we wanted was a drama free wedding. It's one of the reasons we did a small one out of the area. Now I'm just hurt and disappointed. Just want to make sure I'm not overreacting here...

Sorry, I am confused. You regret asking her because she is now getting married in Vegas two months before you? I feel like I'm missing something.

edited because I don't know why that said "admin" instead of "asking"

kmmssg · June 2014

Exactly why are you hurt? Your friend is getting married!

Jen4948 · June 2014

Knottie04597369 said:

So we are having a small destination wedding. Didn't want to bother with long distance wedding party drama so we just planned on a maid of honor and best man. I picked my oldest friend who I don't talk to everyday or anything but who has known me longer than anyone and who played a part in getting my fiance and me together. When I asked her she had tears of joy, lots of ideas, asking how she could help and all that. Fast forward a few months and we aren't talking as much. She starts back up talking to a long distance boyfriend who backed out of marriage several years ago. So we go shopping for dresses for her and it's painful. She keeps obviously hating them, but won't come out and say why. Thank God we find one that fits her perfectly and she's on board. Fast forward another month and I get texts saying she's going to marry the ex now. But don't worry it won't be until after your wedding because it's going to be in Vegas and we want you to be there. By the next week the wedding is in August, two months before mine, oh and she's picked out her wedding dress, and "whoever can come, can come". Not one check on how my plans are going, no mention of ordering her dress for my wedding. I told her to do whatever makes her happy, but I lied. I'm really hurt. I regret ever asking her and want to just say 'screw it' let's not have anyone stand with us. Just have it be us and tell her not to worry about being MoH. She hasn't done anything for me yet anyway. I also don't think we'll be going to her wedding. We just can't afford it with two months notice. All we wanted was a drama free wedding. It's one of the reasons we did a small one out of the area. Now I'm just hurt and disappointed. Just want to make sure I'm not overreacting here...

I think you are overreacting, because it's not clear to me what "drama" she is giving you. She doesn't have to do anything for you besides showing up in the designated outfit on time and in good spirits. But I don't see her not asking you about your plans as "drama."

As far as dress shopping goes, claiming to "hate" everything without a reason is sucky, yes, but maybe she was just having a bad day. I don't like dress shopping and I have to admit that even if my best friend asked me to go with her, while I wouldn't claim to "hate" everything, neither would I be my most chipper, enthusiastic self either.

Also, two months' notice is pretty standard for wedding invitations-even destination and Vegas weddings.

AddieCake · June 2014

I, too, am confused. I don't know what has hurt you so badly here.

MyNameIsNot · June 2014

I don't get it. Why are you upset at her?

JoanE2012 · June 2014

It sounds like you are upset because you think she stole your spotlight. I do think you are overreacting.

Being a bridesmaid requires nothing more than buying a dress and standing up next to you sober and with a smile the day of the wedding. That's it.

If you kick her out, expect a permanent end to a friendship. Is that what you want?

OliveOilsMom · June 2014

I think you expected your MOH to be over the top excited for your wedding from start to finish and that is not happening. You will permanently alter your friendship with her if you kick her out now. From your description of your friendship, she should not have been your MOH. That should be your nearest and dearest friend, which she may have been at one point in your life but not now.

Do nothing, lower your expectations and just be happy for your friend.

Viczaesar · June 2014

I don't get it.

Knottie04597369 · June 2014

Oh man! I'm a bridezilla?! Well crap on toast...
I guess I'll just have to get over it. I didn't think it would bother me either, but for some reason, it is.
Maybe my problem is that I'm worried about her quick marriage? (Which I am)
Maybe I'm selfish because I've been really excited to get into the details of my wedding and I'm expecting too much?
I don't know what my problem is. I have not said anything to her. I've just told her I want her to be happy, and you may not believe me here, but I truly do. She's just been so busy planning her stuff and worrying about paying for her wedding that I feel bad asking for any help and I'd like to start checking on the dress and talking about the shower, but my sister has expressed a wish to do that, so whatever, I guess. Will have to build a bridge and get over it I suppose, eh?

Lizzieyounce · June 2014

Knottie04597369 said:

Oh man! I'm a bridezilla?! Well crap on toast... I guess I'll just have to get over it. I didn't think it would bother me either, but for some reason, it is. Maybe my problem is that I'm worried about her quick marriage? (Which I am) Maybe I'm selfish because I've been really excited to get into the details of my wedding and I'm expecting too much? I don't know what my problem is. I have not said anything to her. I've just told her I want her to be happy, and you may not believe me here, but I truly do. She's just been so busy planning her stuff and worrying about paying for her wedding that I feel bad asking for any help and I'd like to start checking on the dress and talking about the shower, but my sister has expressed a wish to do that, so whatever, I guess. Will have to build a bridge and get over it I suppose, eh?

NYCMercedes · June 2014

Why are you calling yourself a bridezilla? Just relax. MOH duties do not include discussing details of your wedding. She need not help you. You need to excuse yourself from any shower talk because it's not up to you. Chill.

atlastmrsg · June 2014

Has she discussed throwing a shower or bachelorette party for you? Doing one or the other is pretty standard MOH duties. If she's on board for something like that, I think she's still in it and doing what she can. Don't be pissy just because she's getting married before you. It's not your spotlight if your wedding is what you envisioned and is meaningful to you.

abbyj700 · June 2014

Literally since announcing our engagement - THREE other close friends/family members have got engaged. Their weddings play no rule in ours.

So...why would you be upset...?

One of them is one of my bridesmaids - and honestly we're both just so excited to plan our big days together!

Maggie0829 · June 2014

atlastmrsg said:

Has she discussed throwing a shower or bachelorette party for you? Doing one or the other is pretty standard MOH duties. If she's on board for something like that, I think she's still in it and doing what she can. Don't be pissy just because she's getting married before you. It's not your spotlight if your wedding is what you envisioned and is meaningful to you.

No, no it is not. Just because she is the MOH does not mean that she has to throw any type of party. And if she doesn't throw a party for the bride that does not mean that she isn't into being in the wedding.

Cookie Pusher · June 2014

Deleting and changing the thread title mean nothing if you've already been quoted, OP. All it does is bring more attention to your post... and bring on some puppy gifs.

chibiyui · June 2014

Stopped by for the DD.

sophhabobopha · June 2014

jenna8984 · June 2014

@sophhabobopha Chew like you have a secret!! Fave movie ever lol

HaileyDancingbear · June 2014

chibiyui said:

Stopped by for the DD.

I friggin love owls. That thing is so adorable!

JCbride2015 · June 2014

I don't get why OP is upset, nor why she would DD after basically agreeing she needs to get over it.

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