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Am I the only one? I feel so lost!!

To this whole wedding thing. FI and I got engaged 1/11/14 and are looking to married July 2015. No date or venue set yet, but we are looking at our first venue this weekend..yay :) I've been all over this website the last week or so and I feel like I know nothing about weddings. It is soooo much more about the rings, dress, ceremony, reception, photographer etc. There are so many little details, it's causing me to be overwhelmed! So many things I've read that I've never heard of or know any thing about.

Any one else feeling this way? I feel like so many of you ladies, know so much on here!!

Re: Am I the only one? I feel so lost!!

  • There are a fuck-ton of layers to wedding planning. The main thing that keeps my head above water is my sketchbook, bookmarks folder, and my google sheet! If you want to stay ahead of everything, try to keep it all as organized as possible and set goals for savings, planning, and booking.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

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  • Do you have a budget set? What about a tentative guest list? Those are the first two things you should do, otherwise you may sign a contract with a venue that you can't actually afford or that won't fit your guest list. When you start working on the guest list budget for every single guest to have a plus one, just in case they are in a relationship when the invitations go out. Once the venue is locked in, then take one item a month (or every other month) to do the other vendors and decisions. You have a year which is plenty of time. Plus some of the "little things" may not be needed depending on what your venue has available and included in the package price.
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  • It is overwhelming. I've been taking a break for a month from any planning - then I get stuck on details like a receiving line and then want to stick my head back in the sand, lol.
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  • Don't be overwhelmed. You can simplify your wedding as much as you want. You don't need to stress about all those details. There are tons of things I cut out of my wedding. I'm not having flowers. Only a MOH (she picked her own dress). We're getting married at our venue, our friend is our officiant and the ceremony will be really short. 

    And once you get the big stuff out of the way, you can relax for a while. First focus on choosing a venue and budget. Then your guest list. Then a photographer, then DJ or band. That's what I did and it worked out well for me. 

    But also, I'm paying extra for certain details so that I don't have to stress about them. I'm having an invite designer address all of my invitations. 

    Figure out which things matter the most to you and focus on that. 
  • Literally the most helpful thing I've found is if you just google "wedding checklist". I printed one out that said what to book at 12 months out, what to book at 9 months out, etc all the way down to the wedding day. It's super easy to follow the checklist and stay on track.

                                                                     

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  • Depending on your budget, you may want to look into "all inclusive" type venues - some venues can provide pretty much everything besides your outfits, rings, etc. This may not be the cheapest option but it can definitely make your life easier.
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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    First, take a deep breath. You have plenty of time to figure things out. 

    There are tons of great resources to help you figure stuff out, both online and at your local library. If you're new to wedding planning, I'd read the Everything Wedding Book cover to cover (it's a good starting point). 

    If you're completely overwhelmed and feel like you need some help, consider hiring a wedding planner to guide you through the process. 
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  • To this whole wedding thing. FI and I got engaged 1/11/14 and are looking to married July 2015. No date or venue set yet, but we are looking at our first venue this weekend..yay :) I've been all over this website the last week or so and I feel like I know nothing about weddings. It is soooo much more about the rings, dress, ceremony, reception, photographer etc. There are so many little details, it's causing me to be overwhelmed! So many things I've read that I've never heard of or know any thing about.

    Any one else feeling this way? I feel like so many of you ladies, know so much on here!!
    Start with the big stuff.  Find a ceremony venue AND a reception venue whose timelines work together, that are reasonably close together geographically, etc.  Once you make those two decisions, then you worry about picking a caterer, bar service, dj.  The big stuff first - location, food, entertainment.  Then worry about the details.

    And make a draft guest list and set a budget before doing any of this.

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  • Everyone's got great advice. Google docs were great for H and I, and I actually found the knots checklist useful. Just remember, a lot of the things we stress over are not important. I was freaking out trying to get last minute DAY stuff done. No one really notices stuff like that. My florist went MIA for a few days before my wedding. It wasn't going to change anything if I walked down the aisle with my bouquet or without it. Everything will work out.
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    Anniversary
  • I found the book "A Practical Wedding" to be very helpful. It walks you through every step, emphasizing the important stuff (like how our wedding feels) over the less important stuff (like table runners). There's a blog too, but the book is really useful with the initial overwhelm. Bonus: it's short and easy to read!
  • thank you everyone. I have made a guest list, so that's checked off. I will google a checklist, thank you :)
  • Wedding checklist is your best friend, I swear! The one on TK isn't too bad. I know there is an ultimate checklist on wedding guide or something like that you can also print.

    Another thing to have in check BEFORE any planning is a budget. That will make your life so much easier while planning if you have one. That way you know what vendors you can/cannot afford...thus saving you time and energy scoping ones that are OOB. Best of luck to you and the planning. Come here if you need suggestions, advice, or to vent. We love wedding talk! :)
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  • I bought a bridal magazine and ripped the checklist out of it to keep in my wedding binder. And lurked here.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • 1.  Guest list!
    2.  Budget!

    Have you done this?  If you haven't don't start planning anything else!  If you have, what kind of money are you working with per person?

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  • TK has a budgeter that I found useful. You can input your budget and number of guests and it breaks down how much you should spend on each item (food, venue, outfits, etc).

    Anniversary
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