Brides maid issue please help

nattypatty85 · June 2014

CMGragain · June 2014

I am sorry. I cannot understand your post. Your spelling, grammar and typiing make it impossible for me to read it.

I think you are asking the guests to a shower, which you are hosting, to pay for their meal ? If this is your question, I am sorry, but the hosts of a party (shower) must pay for the food and drink. You cannot invite people to a party and then charge them for it.

Or, are you asking about the other bridesmaids splitting the cost for a party you have planned ? Did you agree to split the costs before you paid the deposit?

I'm really not sure what you are asking us.

NYCMercedes · June 2014

nattypatty85 said:

Hi all,
Im the maid of honor of my friends wedding and the her sister is the other matron of honor . She's not into planning hasn't help with a thing and there is 5 of us all together . I looked into several venues to throw the shower at and i finally found one for 50 people 35 .87 a person that includes tax n tip. so before i booked it i asked all if the pricing sounded good and if every one was in i got all yes's . 2 months later after i put deposit down(non refundable) me and the other mho got in to a fight over the bridal shower now she says its to much money . all the other ladies say 350 a person thats if all 50 come is not bad . might i add the other mho didn't wanna do a house shower either . is it wrong of me to expect every one to pay there portion .?i don't think thats to pricy is it? i by no means have money to throw way but we all have known about this wedding for a year n 15 months . i have paid for everything else .... need options Tia

Was the home shower a consideration before she said yes and you paid the deposit? I'm confused.

So she said yes and then changed her mind about spending $350 for a shower? It's a ridiculous amount, in my opinion and I don't blame her for having reservations. If she said yes and then changed her mind, I think it's unfortunate, but you may just be stuck.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

Wait are you saying each BM has to pay $350 for this shower? That is $1750, for a bridal shower. That seems absolutely crazy to me!

bekt14 · June 2014

With all the other expenses bridesmaids have to swallow (dress, shoes, jewelry, travel, time off work, gifts, parties, etc.), I think adding a $350 bridal shower payment is just insane. It's already difficult to be a bridesmaid these days, don't make it worse! It should be about supporting the bride on her big day, not taking out loans to host extravegant parties.

climbingsingle · June 2014

If I'm reading this correctly, each lady has to pay $350? For a bridal shower? That's kind of nuts and I can understand why she's pissed.

bmydesigner · June 2014

I would not want to spend $350 for a bridal shower. That just seems crazy to me.

I'm not sure if you did this or not, but if you wanted the BM's to all help with costs, you should have asked them their budget first and then booked a venue you could all afford.

abbyj700 · June 2014

Holy shit that is one expensive shower!

slothiegal · June 2014

YIKES. I wouldn't want to spend that much on a shower either...

clarke10 · June 2014

$350 per person?! That's nuts. If you want to throw a shower, then you should plan to pay for it unless someone else OFFERS financial help. You can't just assume others will help pay for the expensive party you plan.

thelastdreamer · June 2014

Wait wait wait. What? Please explain who you asked/who agreed to pay what amount.

nattypatty85 · June 2014

I am not hosting alone there are 5 of us brides maids ! Im not rich .. We looked into 9 other places even more money pp ,if we went with those venues. We also worked out the numbers if we did it at a house also . There were 50 people invited and that is max about we would all pay . This shower is being hosted in ny . Im sorry i wrote this on my cell as i am now . I did ask everyone and we all agreed that 350 was ok and sounded great . . The other MOH told the bride yesterday she has the money but chooses not to contribute as she doesn't think she should she wants to only come to the wedding and the rest of us can do it all . I have already gotten 10 can not attends so the pricing would be less ...

MyNameIsNot · June 2014

nattypatty85 said:

I am not hosting alone there are 5 of us brides maids ! Im not rich .. We looked into 9 other places even more money pp ,if we went with those venues. We also worked out the numbers if we did it at a house also . There were 50 people invited and that is max about we would all pay . This shower is being hosted in ny . Im sorry i wrote this on my cell as i am now . I did ask everyone and we all agreed that 350 was ok and sounded great . . The other MOH told the bride yesterday she has the money but chooses not to contribute as she doesn't think she should she wants to only come to the wedding and the rest of us can do it all . I have already gotten 10 can not attends so the pricing would be less ...

You should have asked each individual person how much they were comfortable contributing before you decided on the number of people and the total budget. You decided to throw this shower, not her.

If she says $350 is too much, it's too much. It sucks that she seemed ok with it before, but since that's an insane amount of money to spend on a shower and everyone else "seemed" ok with it, it's likely that she just didn't feel comfortable bringing up her issues with that much money before.

Chalk this up to a lesson learned. Wedding or shower, you don't spend other people's money and you don't dictate how much other people spend on things.

manateehugger · June 2014

@nattypatty85 you know we can still read all your responses since you were quoted right?

Maggie0829 · June 2014

nattypatty85 said:
I am not hosting alone there are 5 of us brides maids ! Im not rich .. We looked into 9 other places even more money pp ,if we went with those venues. We also worked out the numbers if we did it at a house also . There were 50 people invited and that is max about we would all pay . This shower is being hosted in ny . Im sorry i wrote this on my cell as i am now . I did ask everyone and we all agreed that 350 was ok and sounded great . . The other MOH told the bride yesterday she has the money but chooses not to contribute as she doesn't think she should she wants to only come to the wedding and the rest of us can do it all . I have already gotten 10 can not attends so the pricing would be less ...

If she doesn't want to contribute to anything then that is her prerogative. Does it suck that she backed out after you booked something? Sure but there isn't much you can do at this point except forge on without her.

Brides maid issue please help

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