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Wedding Party

Silly FI and "Even Sides"

JasperandOpalJasperandOpal member
250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
edited June 2014 in Wedding Party
Originally, my FI and I were having one person each, not out of any planning just because both of us could quickly and clearly imagine the bridesmaid/groomsman that we wanted to be with us.  For him it is his best friend (and my brother- side note: you know a guy is a good catch when you introduce him to your brother and they become best friends).  For me it was my sister.  My sister has a lot of issues with being in public and having her photo taken (my second post was about this issue, she didn't want to be photographed and I wasn't sure how to accommodate her).   

After being in the bridal party for my older sister's wedding a few weeks ago, my younger sister (BM) realized that it was too much stress and we realized that she would be happier if she could just attend my wedding without having to worry about standing up in front of everyone or having the photographer take too many pictures of her.  As a guest, it will be much easier for her to avoid the camera, and she says she will try to be in two photos- a large family photo and a photo of just the two of us.  I am a little sad that she won't be standing next to me when I get married but we made the decision that is best for her health and happiness.

So I mentioned this to my FI and he gets all disappointed and quiet.  When I ask him whats wrong, he admits that he told one of his friends that the reason the friend couldn't be a groomsman was because I was only having one BM and didn't want uneven sides.  Now I never said this, he just didn't know what to do when the guy excitedly said "Can't wait to be your GM" so he made something up.  For a second FI asked if I would pick someone else to replace my sister but I am pretty sure my long dead stare scared that idea right out of him.  

edited for spacing

Re: Silly FI and "Even Sides"

  • Well, that's on him for lying to his friend and throwing you under the bus like that.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I really think that this is not the best issue to fight for or over.  If your sister wants to opt out of BM and you are ok with it, then all is well.  If she wants to be a BM, walk down the aisle, minimize the number of pictures she appears in, and chooses to sit in a reserved seat for the ceremony, then I would think you would be able to work around all of this. As for your FI, if he wants that man as a GM, then he can tell him plans have changed and he'd love for that man to stand up with him. If he does not, and your sister goes with one of the options I've listed, then he can still hang on to the idea that you want an even number of people standing up with you.
  • Oh it wasn't a fight, it was more of a funny.  My sister has already chosen not to be a BM after much thought on her part.  And FI didn't want the guy to be a GM, he was just surprised at how excited the guy was and in the moment basically blurted, "even sides."  He could definitely have as many (or as few) GMs as he wanted.  I am not sure why I posted this more than just as a funny event that happened and I didn't have anyone to share it with.
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I don't blame FI for his wedding-related ignorance. Before planning our wedding, my FI probably would have thought the same thing. He should have asked you about it, though. 

    I find myself counting the number on each side at every wedding I attend. When I count uneven sides, I think, "Good for them!" Silly, yes, but I think it's important to remember people are people, not accessories to your wedding. 
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