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Anyone Have Experience with a "semi-choreographed bridal party intro"

op2015op2015 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Wedding Party
Hi All;
Only my second post on the knot and I am a little nervous about it. I know some may have strong opinions about asking a bridal party to be a part of something beyond "standing by the couple in a dress/suit, sober and in good spirits", and I understand that is context from which some responses will come. However, I wanted to know if anyone had experience with or is also planning to have a semi-choreographed bridal party entrance and what your thoughts/advice on
a: asking the bridal party if they are willing/able
b: sending them videos of "proposed dance moves"

Here is a little background/context: my fiance and I are BIG on dancing as are our families/friends; I am a dance/fitness instructor and some of the bridal party has taken my classes; We found a song we really really love and it's fun and captures our essence. We know it's not for everyone, but in mentioning it individually to some of the bridal party it looks like everyone is ok with it. Your honesty is greatly appreciated!
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Re: Anyone Have Experience with a "semi-choreographed bridal party intro"

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    jackieraf2014 said:
    Hi All;
    Only my second post on the knot and I am a little nervous about it. I know some may have strong opinions about asking a bridal party to be a part of something beyond "standing by the couple in a dress/suit, sober and in good spirits", and I understand that is context from which some responses will come. However, I wanted to know if anyone had experience with or is also planning to have a semi-choreographed bridal party entrance and what your thoughts/advice on
    a: asking the bridal party if they are willing/able
    b: sending them videos of "proposed dance moves"

    Here is a little background/context: my fiance and I are BIG on dancing as are our families/friends; I am a dance/fitness instructor and some of the bridal party has taken my classes; We found a song we really really love and it's fun and captures our essence. We know it's not for everyone, but in mentioning it individually to some of the bridal party it looks like everyone is ok with it. Your honesty is greatly appreciated!
    Just don't do this.  I get that you and your FI are really into dancing but your wedding is not a performance.  I went to a wedding that had a choreographed dance that involved the entire bridal party and bride and they danced for the groom.  It was uncomfortable (I cringe when I think about it). It was attention whorish. And it totally interrupted the flow of the party.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Skip this.  The fact that you and your FI are big on dancing and some members of your bridal party said they are okay with it doesn't mean that everyone in your bridal party is, and the truth is, they're not there to do command performances for you.  

    And in fact, it comes off as entitled and not reasonable for the couple to expect more from their wedding party members than to "be a part of something beyond 'standing by the couple in a dress/suit, sober and in good spirits." 
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  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2014
    Going to agree with PP. I get really uncomfortable and embarrassed for the couple when witnessing any type of choreographed dance. Even if they are good at dancing. It's just not my taste. 

    If you really want a choreographed dance though... maybe just do it yourself with your fiance instead of asking your wedding party to do it. As much as it seems like they're all fine with it... it is very hard to say "omg. please no!" to a bride when she talks about how amazing and cool this idea is. 
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    I agree with PP to just do something amazing yourself.  Don't rope anyone else into it. 

    Now then, weddings I go to, the entire bridal party is always announced and they come through some doors into the main reception room. Because everyone I know is not a dancer, on one side of the spectrum you get a quick stroll and some awkward waves and on the other side of the spectrum are the fist-pumpers.  (Can I quickly add I'm so tired of fist pumping?) That's really it.  

    I suppose if people were so inclined, they could decide to bust out a move like, oh, the sprinkler. But for 5 seconds. Not an officially choreographed thing.  Let people decide themselves.  
    ________________________________


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  • op2015op2015 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Thanks for the suggestions ladies. @lil I thought that might be a better option =)
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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
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    Just one more person that votes "no." I cringe when I see these.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    lilacck28 said:
    Going to agree with PP. I get really uncomfortable and embarrassed for the couple when witnessing any type of choreographed dance. Even if they are good at dancing. It's just not my taste. 

    If you really want a choreographed dance though... maybe just do it yourself with your fiance instead of asking your wedding party to do it. As much as it seems like they're all fine with it... it is very hard to say "omg. please no!" to a bride when she talks about how amazing and cool this idea is. 
    I agree with all of this!
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  • offensivekitten2offensivekitten2 member
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    Your ceremony isn't an opportunity to put on a show, and most people will side-eye you for not taking it seriously.

    Why not just put on the most kick-ass first dance that's ever been danced? Nobody said you had to do a prom shuffle. I'd kill to see a bride and groom do an awesome tango instead.



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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    offensivekitten2 said: Your ceremony isn't an opportunity to put on a show, and most people will side-eye you for not taking it seriously. Why not just put on the most kick-ass first dance that's ever been danced? Nobody said you had to do a prom shuffle. I'd kill to see a bride and groom do an awesome tango instead.

    ETA because my quotes are always broken


     So much this. I     love to dance and in fact took ballet for 13 years. I would still be pissed if someone asked/told (because how do you opt out when you're already in the wedding party?) me to perform choreography at their wedding. I was pleased, though, that my very non-dancer H and sort of non-dancer dad both made an effort to learn some actual ballroom steps with me.
    image
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
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    I've been to a few weddings with bridal party dances. Guests just sort of look at each other with that uncomfortable smile.   Wedding parties say "ok" at the time the couple asks, because they feel obligated, but no one actually wants to do this.    

    Skip it.  It's always awkward, even if you are the most amazing dancer ever.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • dcavistondcaviston member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    We tossed this same idea around for my friend's wedding last year, thankfully we skipped it. While it sounded fun in theory, once we attempted to find a song and moves everyone could do it just became a major headache. Maybe you and your fiance can plan a special dance for your first dance, if it's that important.
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I went to a wedding where the bride decided to do about a 5 song "set" with the band at the reception. Yes, she was an ok singer, but it was the most attention-whoreish, My super sweet 16 moment I have ever seen at a wedding. Everyone had to sit and listen to this bride sing covers of love songs. 1 song maybe would have been OK, but it was over the meal so no one wanted to eat and we just had to sit whilst our meal got cold. The point being, maybe do a choreographed dance for your 1st dance, but don't turn it into a multiple dance, dinner theatre experience for your guests. It is SO awkward. If you and your family are big on dancing, get a great DJ and get everyone up on the dance floor.
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  • Fran1985 Fran1985 member
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    Its just so lame. And Ive see it down where the wedding party was totally game and didnt look uncomfortable or anything. Its just still pretty lame. But good for you for thinking it out and asking for opinions! I think youll find that people will dance a ton at your reception and that will be better anyway! 

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    As a guest, I would find it lame. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • tigersgirlgvtigersgirlgv member
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    thisismynickname said:
    I agree with PP to just do something amazing yourself.  Don't rope anyone else into it. 

    Now then, weddings I go to, the entire bridal party is always announced and they come through some doors into the main reception room. Because everyone I know is not a dancer, on one side of the spectrum you get a quick stroll and some awkward waves and on the other side of the spectrum are the fist-pumpers.  (Can I quickly add I'm so tired of fist pumping?) That's really it.  

    I suppose if people were so inclined, they could decide to bust out a move like, oh, the sprinkler. But for 5 seconds. Not an officially choreographed thing.  Let people decide themselves.  
    ^ This. I was in a wedding recently and we were introduced at the reception to Gangnam Style. So when we walked out each pair did a few silly Gagnam style moves and sat down. No biggie, but I would not have been game for more than that.
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