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Invite Wording

EColes13EColes13 member
Fifth Anniversary First Comment
edited June 2014 in Wedding Invitations & Paper
My question is regarding the wording on my invitations. I will most likely be using Wedding Paper Divas, so they have a pretty good guideline for using "with their parents" since our parents are helping us pay. What I can't find is how to word that cocktails and hors d'oeuvres  will be served at our venue (separate from our church) about two hours after the beginning of the ceremony. So we have our names, with their parents request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their union saturday, the first of november two thousand and fourteen half past one o'clock in the afternoon St. Mary's Catholic Church (and the address). Most invites then have "reception to follow". We need something along the lines of: Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres  to be served beginning at 4:30 pm at The Sandusky State Theater followed by an Adult only reception". What is the most appropriate/classy way to word this that isn't too wordy (not much space for this). OR should the invite state something brief about the cocktails and hors devours and the information be on a smaller card? Thanks for any input!
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Re: Invite Wording

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2014
    "Celebration of their union" sounds like you are already married, and are celebrating this with a party.  Is this the case?  I would recommend more traditional wording.  Are you having a Mass?  Here are some invitation wordings:

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the honour of your presence at the Nuptial Mass
    uniting them in The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
    Saturday, the first of November
    two thousand fourteen
    at half after one o'clock
    Saint Mary's Catholic Church
    Address
    City, State

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    Mr. and Mrs. James Groomsparents
    request the honour of your presence
    at the marriage of
    Brides Full Name
    and
    Groom Full Name
    (etc.)

    You may choose either "Together with their families" (not traditional) or list the parents.  Either one works.  If there is not a sacramental mass, the second wording is enough.  "The honour of your presence" should be used at church weddings.  To use "the pleasure of your company" would be disrespectful,

    (Separate card)

    Reception
    at half after four o'clock
    Sandusky State Theater
    Address
    City, State

    You should never describe the food and entertainment at your reception, and "Adult Reception" is rude!  Everyone who is invited to your wedding must also be invited to your reception, and this includes any children that will be at the ceremony.  If you are not inviting any children, you simply address your invitations to the adults in the family.  You never say who is NOT invited.

    The larger issue is the gap.  This isn't a large gap, so why not serve drinks as soon as the guests arrive at the venue?  Why make them wait around an hour and a half?  This is inexcusable!.  You need to host your reception guests properly.  What are people supposed to do between your ceremony and your reception?  The cocktail hour is part of your reception, not a prelude to it.

    @HisGirlFriday13



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  • Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Agreed, @CMGragain - especially for a wedding in the Catholic Church, I'd use more traditional wording.  If nothing else, I'd be sure to put "requests the honour of your presence" - this wording is specially used for weddings held in a sacred place of worship; knowing that you will be having the ceremony (Mass or otherwise) at a Catholic church, that would be more fitting / proper.
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  • EColes13EColes13 member
    Fifth Anniversary First Comment
    I didn't think about the wording needing to be more formal for a Catholic ceremony, good point. Our vows will be at 1:30 and last just under an hour. Our venue is not available until 4:30 pm. We can't change the ceremony time because the church has a mass on Saturday evenings. I don't know what to do about the time lapse. Serving drinks from 230-530 will cost a fortune and seems excessive.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    EColes13 said:

    I didn't think about the wording needing to be more formal for a Catholic ceremony, good point. Our vows will be at 1:30 and last just under an hour. Our venue is not available until 4:30 pm. We can't change the ceremony time because the church has a mass on Saturday evenings. I don't know what to do about the time lapse. Serving drinks from 230-530 will cost a fortune and seems excessive.

    Find a different venue that can accommodate your reception beginning at 2.30 or 2.45.

    Part of hosting is seeing to your guests' comfort and that might mean spending money on drinks and hors d'oeuvres.

    As far as wording, 'honour of your presence at the marriage of' is enough, although you can include 'nuptial Mass' or 'as they are united in the Sacrament of Marriage.'
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Your reception should be timed to follow your ceremony.  An afternoon reception is less expensive than an evening reception.  You need a different venue and a different reception plan.
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  • Butterflyz419Butterflyz419 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Yes, I'm sure telling someone to change their reception venue as they're preparing their invitations is completely reasonable. I mean, it's not like venues book months in advance or have non refundable deposits or anything like that. You can just willy nilly change your reception plan at no loss any old time you feel like it, right? Unbelieveable.

    In any event, OP, what I'm confused about is are you having a cocktail reception followed by another adults only separate party? Assuming it's just one regular reception, you can put "Reception to follow" at the bottom of your invite and on a separate card indicate the place and time of your reception. Any one formally invited to the ceremony, including children, are to be invited to the reception. While as a rule, you don't need to describe the nature of your reception, if your reception is only cocktails and heavy hors d'oeuvres, and not a full meal, letting your guests know that is a good idea so they can plan ahead. If this is the case I'd suggest a separate card that says:

    Please join us for
    a cocktail reception
    at half after four o'clock
    VENUE Name
    Address

    I do agree also with the need for the more formal wording in your invitation as your ceremony is taking place in the context of a Catholic Mass.

    Good luck. Invite wording is tricky. I'm just starting to work on mine. I'm still a year out (I'm DIYing my invites) and they've already been revised a dozen times and no doubt will be at least a dozen more.
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  • EColes13EColes13 member
    Fifth Anniversary First Comment
    We are having a regular reception with a full meal. We are including the cocktail and hors d'oeuvres to fill some of the shameful gap. Thank you, I didn't think to include the "reception to follow" on the bottom of the invite with more information on a separate card.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2014
    Butterflyz419 said:
    Yes, I'm sure telling someone to change their reception venue as they're preparing their invitations is completely reasonable. I mean, it's not like venues book months in advance or have non refundable deposits or anything like that. You can just willy nilly change your reception plan at no loss any old time you feel like it, right? Unbelieveable.

    In any event, OP, what I'm confused about is are you having a cocktail reception followed by another adults only separate party? Assuming it's just one regular reception, you can put "Reception to follow" at the bottom of your invite and on a separate card indicate the place and time of your reception. Any one formally invited to the ceremony, including children, are to be invited to the reception. While as a rule, you don't need to describe the nature of your reception, if your reception is only cocktails and heavy hors d'oeuvres, and not a full meal, letting your guests know that is a good idea so they can plan ahead. If this is the case I'd suggest a separate card that says:

    Please join us for
    a cocktail reception
    at half after four o'clock
    VENUE Name
    Address

    I do agree also with the need for the more formal wording in your invitation as your ceremony is taking place in the context of a Catholic Mass.

    Good luck. Invite wording is tricky. I'm just starting to work on mine. I'm still a year out (I'm DIYing my invites) and they've already been revised a dozen times and no doubt will be at least a dozen more.
    There is no way that we are going to advise someone to do something that is rude.  Having a gap is rude.  There is no way around this fact.  If you are having trouble wording something, it just might be that what you are planning isn't polite or good etiquette.
    If you put "Reception to follow" on your invitation, this means that the reception will start after the ceremony at the same location.  If there is to be a gap, you cannot use that phrase on your invitation.
    OP, thank yoiu for listening to us, and trying to fix your hosting issues.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    EColes13 said:
    We are having a regular reception with a full meal. We are including the cocktail and hors d'oeuvres to fill some of the shameful gap. Thank you, I didn't think to include the "reception to follow" on the bottom of the invite with more information on a separate card.
    No, do not put reception to follow, as that is only for ceremony and reception at the same site. Put your reception info on a separate reception card, as @CMGragain‌ worded it.
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