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Attire and Accessories

Mother In Law and Dress Shopping

Is it terribly rude not to invite your future mother in law to come dress shopping? Especially if you are traveling to the city she lives in to do it? I don't want to offend them, and cause an argument, but I would prefer to keep it to my own mother and bridesmaids. What is your advice on avoiding making this a huge issue?

Re: Mother In Law and Dress Shopping

  • I don't think so.  It's hard to have a lot of people there with all different opinions. I asked my FMIL to come to the dress fitting when my dress comes in so that she can still be a part of the process. 
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have been both a MOB and MOG.  I never expected my DIL to invite me along.  My daughter wanted only a few close people to join her.  When their dresses arrived, my daughter asked her MIL if she wanted to join her in seeing it, and my DIL asked the same to me.  I thought it was a thoughtful but not necessary gesture.  I was happy to join her.

    I think this is one of a few occasions where the bride can and should do what makes her most comfortable.  Don't bring dress shopping up to your MIL.  If she inquires, simply tell her that you prefer to keep this a mother-daughter day.
  • I only took my mother the first time, and my mother and one grandmother that was in town the second time (when I found and bought my dress).

    I don't intend to invite my MIL to any fittings or anything. I'll show her photos if she asks but i'd rather it be a surprise.
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    No, not rude at all.  You are not obligated to invite anyone to come with you dress shopping.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's not rude to not invite her. 

    However, I have to ask - has she expressed to you that she'd like to come? Because if she has, I think you should invite her. I'm sure it would mean a lot to her and after all, she is your FMIL. My FMIL was so excited to come dress shopping and she was so happy to be there (especially since she only has sons). 

    Anyway, just my two cents. 

  • Thank you everyone for the input! She has not asked about it, and I like the idea of  including her after the dress has been ordered. We have very different personalities and tastes, so I don't think she would have the same idea for what I am looking for, and it may just make for a confusing day with too many people present.
  • It's not rude at all.  My future MIL didn't come with me.  Unless she mentions to you that she would like to be there, I wouldn't worry about it. :o)

     

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Not at all rude.  I didn't invite my MIL because I just wanted to keep it to my Mom and my sister.

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    I did the same as PP above - brought just my 2 sisters, mom and step-mom shopping (not even all my bridesmaids). I've invited FMIL to my first fitting appointment, as I know it will mean a lot to her to be included at some stage. 

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  • I did invite my future MIL, we have a good relationship and I wanted her to come...plus she only has boys so I think she really appreciated that I asked her because she never got to do a lot of the girly side of wedding planning being the MOG (her son's been married twice...this is FI's first).  But again, it really depends on the relationship you have with her...you aren't obligated either way.
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