Ushers

Re: Ushers

• melbelleup member

  

  June 2014

  CallaLily25 said:

  FI wants to ask his 3 male cousins to be ushers. I've never been to a wedding with ushers that weren't groomsmen (I've only been to two weddings!), and I just had a few questions:

  
  

  1. In your opinion, is being asked to be an usher truly an honor? I don't want his cousins to feel like we're giving them some "chore" at the wedding. We want them to be able to enjoy themselves. 

  
  

  2. Do the ushers come to the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner? 

  
  

  3. Do the ushers typically wear matching suits or tuxes? (I would think that would be silly, but I wasn't sure)

  
  

  4. What are the exact duties of an usher?

  
  

  Thanks!
  
  
  SIB
  
  honestly, I wouldn't do separate people for ushering. It just is like "hey, I like you, but not enough to put you in my wedding party" that being said, their duties are literally as stated, to walk people down the aisle to their seats.  I would not require matching outfits as that would only be for the wedding party members. I'm not sure of the rehearsal part.... I'd imagine they wouldn't have to, but wouldn't hurt at the same time.
  

  

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• iloveotters2014 member

  

  June 2014

  The only time I've been to a wedding with ushers that werent in the wedding party was at my SIL's. But the only reason for that was my H was asked to be a groomsman, but he had just started his new very demanding job and we live 6 hours away from them. So he turned them down, but they still wanted him to be included....so it was his job to "usher" his mother, and grandmother down the aisle.
  
  I honestly think it's a job the groomsman could handle and maybe if one of the groomsman couldn't say yes maybe you do the same? If not it's kind of a pointless job and not really much of an honor. Feels kind of guest book attendanty to me.
  

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• CallaLily25 member

  

  June 2014

  These are really good points! I think we're probably going to stick with no ushers separate from the groomsmen. I see what you mean about it looking like..."hey, you're important, but not quite important enough..."

  
  

  I'm definitely going to bring this up with my FI. 

  
  

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• l9i member

  

  June 2014

  I've been battling with this same issue. Although if we did ushers it would include my two brothers and my FIs uncle and cousin. With it all being family it may be a different situation? I know both of our families have constantly been asking how they can help.

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• melbenso member

  

  June 2014 edited June 2014

  FI was recently an usher, but not a groomsman, in our friend's wedding.  Most of the weddings I have been to have had the groomsmen be ushers, but it does happen.  This was a particularly large wedding - nearly 300 guests in attendance - and the church had multiple guest entrances in the front and back.
  
  He wore a black suit that he already had.  The groom bought a tie for him in colors complimentary to the groomsmen's ties (they were also wearing black suits, their ties were solid green and the ushers - two of them - were green and grey striped) and gave him a gift for being in the wedding party.  He (FI) stayed to take some wedding party pictures at the church.
  
  He took it as an honor.
  
  Edited for clarity
  

  

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• Cookie Pusher member

  

  June 2014

  We have two young cousins as ushers. Our wedding is in a garden, so it's helpful for some of our older guests to have someone to make sure they have a seat up front and to get them to said seat. And who can answer questions like where the bathrooms are (in a building about 100 yards away) as the groomsmen will be taking pictures with the groom before the ceremony starts.

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• perdonami member

  

  June 2014

  I have been wondering about the importance of having ushers and if it is really necessary. My DOC explained that I need to select ( 3 ) guests to be ushers to stand at three separate locations around the venue to help point guests in the correct direction to our beach ceremony. 

  
  

  I am having a hard time finding folks who would be comfortable filling that role as when I asked my brother initially he got extremely pissed off. When FI asked his friend who is also my other brother, he reluctantly agreed. 

  
  

  I don't want to be rude to my guests or make them feel like they have to perform a few chores in order to be part of our wedding. Maybe I should tell my DOC that we simply don't have anyone who would be interested in being an usher? Or maybe just ask the male bridal party attendants to act as ushers as well?

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• mysticl member

  

  June 2014

  Our ushers were not groomsmen, DH did not have groomsmen.  One was his BIl and one was my brother.  They just wore what they would have worn to the wedding otherwise.  They did attend the rehearsal and the dinner but they would have anyway since they both had children in the wedding.  We gave them each a gift.  

  

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• CMGragain member

  

  June 2014

  Daughter had two ushers.  One was her brother.  They were very helpful in seating people in church.  They did not have to wear special clothes - just their own suits.  Brother also served as a reader, and he escorted me (MOB) down the aisle before the processional began.  They got boutonnieres.
  

  

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• lodele47 member

  

  June 2014

  My FI has lots of brothers and close friends. He has 5 groomsmen (one is his brother). We asked his step brother, half brother, and my half brother to be ushers. We definitely need ushers to escort guests from our reception site down to the ceremony site. They all seem excited and honored to help and it's a lot less expensive than being a groomsman. 

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• melissamusic member

  

  June 2014

  I've also seen male friends/family of the bride as ushers, for people who really want to keep the bridal party gender-matched.

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