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Help... Inviting People to Reception for Dancing and Drinks Only

branny127branny127 member
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I have a question regarding my wedding reception.  My husband-to-be is in sales and has many, many clients.  We are unable to invite all of his clients to our wedding/reception for financial reasons.  There are maybe 20 clients though he would like to invite to our reception, after dinner has been served to have some drinks & dance.  Is this socially acceptable or should we not invite them at all?  Adding 40 people (20 +1) to our guest list for the meal portion is undoable.  Please let me know your thoughts?  Also, if we do this, do we give them an invitation and if so, how do we word it?!?  Any advice or thoughts are appreicated!  
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Re: Help... Inviting People to Reception for Dancing and Drinks Only

  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Doing this would be very rude. It's like saying these people are not important enough to witness your wedding and join you for a meal, but are important enough for you to get gifts from (because weddings are gift-giving occasions). While some people may not be hurt or bothered by this type of invitation, others would be - and the last thing your future husband would want to do is offend his clients!
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Like PP said it's rude.

    You run the risk of offending people when they realize they aren't worth the price of a meal to you.  You run the risk of dinner running long and these extra guests walking in while people are still eating, that's going to be awkward.  You run the risk of your venue handing a you a bill for 40 extra people because you went over the head count and they don't care if the people ate or not.  

    Your FI should just keep business and personal separate.  His clients will respect that.  


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    This is called "tiered hospitality" and it's very rude.

    It is never appropriate to invite some guests for dinner, drinks, and dancing, and others for only drinks and dancing.  You invite everyone to the whole event or you don't invite them at all.  If your FI doesn't want to serve these extra guests dinner, then they shouldn't be invited, period.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Please don't do this. It's very rude. Don't invite them. 
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  • itsmestacey123itsmestacey123 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Why don't you just host a happy hour or other small after-work event for those clients?  It would be a nice way to have a mini-reception and meet/say hello to everyone.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2014
    image
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    branny127 said:
    I have a question regarding my wedding reception.  My husband-to-be is in sales and has many, many clients.  We are unable to invite all of his clients to our wedding/reception for financial reasons.  There are maybe 20 clients though he would like to invite to our reception, after dinner has been served to have some drinks & dance.  Is this socially acceptable or should we not invite them at all?  Adding 40 people (20 +1) to our guest list for the meal portion is undoable.  Please let me know your thoughts?  Also, if we do this, do we give them an invitation and if so, how do we word it?!?  Any advice or thoughts are appreicated!  

    It is not socially acceptable.  Don't invite them at all. It's incredibly rude to tier your guests. 

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    8 out of 8 responders agree.
     Don't do this, please. How awkward to be told you're invited, but not as good as the other guests. Bad etiquette. Sales people can't risk offending clients.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Horrible idea!  Forget about it!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Very rude.  Don't do it.

    No one wants to be told that they aren't important enough to eat with the regular guests but that they can crash later.  
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Don't do this. As PPs have already stated, its very rude. 

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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Please don't do this.  It's rude.  If you cannot host them the entire night, do not invite them to anything.  Doing otherwise will give the impression that they are good enough to come dance (where they will most likely bring a gift) but not good enough for you to host their dinner.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I wouldn't do it because where will you sit them? Or will you plan for empty tables for them to sit at?
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