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Destination Weddings Discussions

Bridesmaid Dress - to help with costs or not?

Hey all,

I'm having a destination wedding and want my bridesmaids to wear a particular dress. I considered doing the fashionable wear-what-you-want-as-long-as-it-is-a-certain-color thing, but the dresses are gorgeous and it would be a pretty look, all together. Considering that they are flying to Mexico, renting houses/hotels etc., I was considering paying for at least part of each dress (price is $260). That being said, I don't want it to sound insulting if I bring it up or sound like I was uncreative with their bridesmaid gift. Anybody have had past experiences with this? Any and all advice is very much appreciated.

Thanks!

Re: Bridesmaid Dress - to help with costs or not?

  • Maybe you could do the dress and find something small under $20.00 that your bridesmaid will like. Its not their fault you are choosing such an expensive dress. However, I do not have experience being that Fiance and I are not having a wedding party.
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  • I feel obligated to cover the entire amount considering the bridal party is paying for the travel. It's a lot of money to ask of someone.
  • tjklostjklos member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    we did a destination wedding in Anna Maria Florida.
    We bought bridesmaids dresses (6 of them), groomsmen outfits( 6 of them), flower girl dresses (3) and ring bearer outfits (2)
    It was expensive, but a great gesture, and I could tell it was appreciated.
    For the bridesmaids I also got them a personalized beach tote, beach towel, sandals, and beachy necklaces
    For the groomsmen we got shoes for them and nice watches as well.

    Again, we spent alot on them, but it was a wedding expense I dont regret!
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    Good luck with everything!

  • tjklostjklos member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I actually didnt tell them I was paying for their dress either- i told them to get sized and tell me their sizes .  I  told them they all had to be ordered at once in order to come in on time, so I would take care of the ordering and I told them they would pay when they pick it up
    I coordinated with Davids Bridal to let me know when the dresses arrived----and I hand delivered personalized bridesmaids poems describing to them that the dress was paid for in full....
    Bridesmaids went to get their dress (expecting to pay for it) and the staff handed them their dress and my letter
    They were all touched. It was perfect ! 
  • I bought my one attendant's dress for her.  It wasn't a bridesmaid dress--it was a designer cocktail dress from Neiman Marcus she and I picked out together, non-bridesmaid so she would actually wear it again.  I told her she probably had been in enough weddings with tote bags, shirts, PJs, robes, whatever--the usual bridesmaid-y stuff.  Instead of getting her something she didn't want and would never use again, I told her I wanted to give her the dress.  She was delighted about it as her main gift, and delighted that it wasn't a typical bridesmaid dress.  If I was in your wedding, I'd love to have the dress as the gift instead of a collection of random "bridesmaid" bedazzled junk I'll give to Goodwill the Monday after the wedding.  I think it's a great idea.
  • We bought the attire for all of the wedding party (granted the dresses were quite a bit cheaper), and we still got them gifts on top of that.  In my mind, buying them a dress for my wedding wasn't a gift.  So they all got individual presents too.  We had to cut back on other costs to cover it, but given everything we were asking of them, it seemed like the least we could do.  

    I think a huge part of what should weigh in on your decision was what each BM individually (and hopefully, privately!) said their budget was for the dress.  If you're choosing something that's $260 without asking that, I think you definitely need to either cover a big part of it or choose a new dress.  
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