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Purchased save the dates too soon?

angiep321angiep321 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Soon after we got engaged, we were super excited and immediately purchased our save the dates. They're very pretty, it has cherry blossoms framing our photo and it's on a magnet. However, now that we've gotten farther along with the planning, I'm starting to think that it doesn't really "fit" with the vibe of the wedding. Our ceremony will be held in a BEAUTIFUL Spanish style church and the reception will be at a vineyard that looks like an Italian villa, it's absolutely stunning! We've decided to have a black tie preferred wedding. We're having our invitations made to be extremely formal and personalized. Now we're thinking that the magnets don't necessarily go along with the style of the wedding. Does it really matter? Do all paper goods have to match? We know a couple that used similar save the dates but had a much less formal wedding. Any thoughts?
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Re: Purchased save the dates too soon?

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    angiep321 said:
    Soon after we got engaged, we were super excited and immediately purchased our save the dates. They're very pretty, it has cherry blossoms framing our photo and it's on a magnet. However, now that we've gotten farther along with the planning, I'm starting to think that it doesn't really "fit" with the vibe of the wedding. Our ceremony will be held in a BEAUTIFUL Spanish style church and the reception will be at a vineyard that looks like an Italian villa, it's absolutely stunning! We've decided to have a black tie preferred wedding. We're having our invitations made to be extremely formal and personalized. Now we're thinking that the magnets don't necessarily go along with the style of the wedding. Does it really matter? Do all paper goods have to match? We know a couple that used similar save the dates but had a much less formal wedding. Any thoughts?
    They need not have anything to do with each other.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    They don't need to match. STD are informal correspondence. Your invites set the tone of the wedding, not your STDs. Black tie preferred is not a thing. All weddings are black tie optional unless they are in fact black tie or white tie. GL! :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    While STDs are considered as good as an invite, as a guest I wouldn't consider the style of an STD to be indicative of the formality of the wedding. Especially if I received an invitation later on that had all of the stylistic trappings that point to a black tie event. I have gotten STDs and invitations that differed greatly in style, and it didn't bug me or throw me off of any ideas of what I was going to wear to the event.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2014
    "Black tie preferred" is not a thing.*  It will look pretentious and will confuse your guests.  Please do not include that on your invitations or website.

    And your StDs don't need to match your invites, so if you like the ones you have, use them!

    *ETA: neither is Black Tie Optional.  Black Tie and White Tie are real things, but they only apply to weddings fitting a very long list of requirements.  And the rule of thumb honestly is, if you have to ask if it's black tie, it really isn't.  So just don't list attire on your invitations.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    They don't need to match. My STDs were very casual (magnets too, which people really loved) and my invites are very formal. 

    And like JC said, "black tie preferred" isn't a thing and will likely confuse people. 
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  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    OOH, yes @JCbride2015 brings up an excellent point! Don't put a dress code on anything, it is inappropriate. Guests will largely be clued in on what they want to wear by the style of the invitation, and that is 100% up to them.
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  • angiep321angiep321 member
    First Comment
    Thank you ladies!
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