Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gift Question

pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
edited June 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are in the process of getting our Thank You cards mailed out (for gifts received at our engagement party), and we have come across 2 gifts with no owner. One is a bottle of wine, another a bottle of 1800 Tequila. Neither FI, FMIL, nor I can remember who received those 2 particular gifts, and they both came in a bag without a card. We did receive a couple of cards that came with a gift, but these are the only 2 that either became separated or that did not come with any sort of card. Is there anything we can do in this situation? I would feel really bad not being able to thank the gift givers. Would it be okay to ask some close relatives/friends to see if maybe the gifts were from them? I'm hesitant about doing this, because I don't want them to feel bad in the event that they did not give us a gift. Is this a situation which we just have to let go, and hope that maybe the person asks if we enjoyed the wine/tequila, and then explain the confusion? Edit: TK hates paragraphs.
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Re: Gift Question

  • I'm in a similar position. We received a gift at the wedding, no card no info on the gift bag. Have asked both moms, neither knows anything about it. I was half thinking of posting something on facebook, but that seems like a not good idea. 

    I hope someone has better ideas/answers. :(
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  • This happened to me, with wine to boot. I think that you've given it the college try and I think it's more awkward to ask people. I only had three guests not give gifts, so I ended up mailing them all cards because I genuinely was glad they made the time to be there. 
  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    This happened at my Bat Mitzvah. We asked the most likely "suspects," but after that, there was nothing else we could do. So whoever gave me those couple of gifts never got a thank-you note.

    Honestly, though, you're not super-human. So if you ask around (is there someone who would very likely give you tequila?) and no one knows who the gift is from, or no one says, "Yep, that was me!" then you've done all you can.
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    phira said:
    This happened at my Bat Mitzvah. We asked the most likely "suspects," but after that, there was nothing else we could do. So whoever gave me those couple of gifts never got a thank-you note.

    Honestly, though, you're not super-human. So if you ask around (is there someone who would very likely give you tequila?) and no one knows who the gift is from, or no one says, "Yep, that was me!" then you've done all you can.
    @chibiyui - I half considered the FB thing, and then thought better of it! And since not everyone is on FB, it probably wouldn't help.

    Someone really close to me would have given us the tequila because I LOVE tequila. At first I was convinced it was my college roomate (who is a BM), because she made a comment about bringing us a bottle of tequila in the plane. Then I remembered that all the bridesmaids got us a gift, including mini tequila bottles. And she stayed at our place, so you would think we would have noticed if she left with a big bag! I am going to ask my MOH if she knows about that bottle. If not, hopefully someone will just ask if we enjoyed it, and we can take it from there I guess.
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  • First, I'd ask my most gossipy family member to spread the word around the family. Then I'd wait about two weeks to see if anybody fessed up. If that didn't work, I would go ahead and put on FB something like this:

    "A few of our gifts got separated from their cards. If you gave us X or Y, will you let us know, so we can thank you? We are very grateful and we don't want to miss the opportunity to let you know!" Also, make sure that post is shown only to people who came to the wedding and haven't already gotten a thank you card.
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