Being unemployed SUCKS (rant)

larrygaga · June 2014

I would like to start off with stating that this is a very ungrateful rant and I am acting like a spoiled crybaby. I know all of this isn't as bad as it could be. Ranting is helping me feel better.

So like anyone else here not doing anything with their life? I know I have it really good, FI can support both us of for a little while and I have been getting interviews. We def. budgeted for me not having a job for awhile, because the same thing happened to him. However, it's like whenever I start looking through applications I just want to start crying. I only apply every other day or so, just because it upsets me so much. There are so many jobs I want, and others that I qualify for but it would be like slowly peeling off fingernails to work that job. I only get interviews for the jobs that sound terrible, and they never work out anyway. Either I don't get the offer or they lied about something and I have to decline the interview/offer. (likelocation or what the job actually is)

It's really good how many entry level positions there are that require 5 years of experience. Or I could work part time! Or I could take a minimum wage job to pay off all my student loans!!!! Or I could take a position that has nothing to do with anything I ever studied for!

The only thing keeping me from going absolutely rabid is the fact that I do have it much better than many people, and I am very grateful for that. I also need to remember I am getting interviews and I have only been out of school for a month and a half. I'm just so sick of sitting around all day. Hobbies are only fun if you don't have tons of free time, I think.

I haven't been unemployed since I got a job at MCD's when I was 15. I was a sorta nanny before that. I don't know how to sit around all day and not be depressed. I think I get so upset over applying for jobs and the job search in general is because I have all these dream jobs that won't even look twice at me or I can resign myself to an awful poc crap job. I haven't come to terms with the fact that I went to school, became thousands of dollars into debt and I have no job.

For the record, I plan on going back to school next year to get my master's so I can be a therapist. It's all I want. I would be fine working a part time job, because for my master's degree/field placement I will have to go down to part time anyway. The job outlook when I get my masters is way better. If I get one more person asking me if I want to be a salesman, I'll scream. I don't want to settle. I want to have a happy life and a happy career. I figure I did my time by working at McDonald's for about 6 years.

No amount of money in the world will make me want to work in accounting or as a receptionist for years and years.

I am not saying any of these jobs are bad or fulfilling, they just aren't what I want. Why do I feel so guilty over expecting my life to be happy? Is it because I know others never even get a choice?

wandajune6 · June 2014

I've never been unemployed outside of when I've been in school so I don't know exactly what you're dealing with. However, I've been in the phase where I'm biding my time until the next phase begins. And that's torture.

You need to find something that gives you meaning. I'd advise volunteering. It will help explain the hole in your resume and, if you choose well, it will help your story for grad school applications. I know that volunteering can be a huge factor for Admissions at some schools. More importantly, it will keep you busy and give you perspective.Beyond that, have fun! Apply for jobs that are irrelevant for your career but could be fun. Take some low-paying crap jobs that keep you busy and help with bills. I babysat while in a very competitive full-time MBA program just so I could play with kids and get away from my books. Try elance for smaller projects. Check with friends who own businesses if you can help. Just find things that will fill your time and develop your skills.

It will get better but you need to keep your head straight.

SapphireCounselor · June 2014

That's a lot! Being unemployed does suck and you have every right to be stressed/frustrated about it. If you need to vent, vent. I can also relate to feeling a little lost. I'm not unemployed, but I'm not doing what I imagined and that gets to me too.

That said, just apply to as many job as you can and if you haven't already, have a professional look over your resume and give you pointers as well as work on mock interviews. (I've done this twice and it helped so much.) One of the ways to make job searching seem less, well, awful and random, is to treat it like a literal job - Make yourself a daily schedule and put the same amount hours in as you would at a normal job.

Jells2dot0 · June 2014

I'm sorry you are going through this! I can't entirely related because I am currently employed, but I'm out on short term disability and going BSC. I need to work darn it!!! It kills me to just sit around all day, feeling like I'm wasting my life away and being useless.

I think you should keep looking for opportunities while you are able to still live comfortably off of your FI. You can also look into volunteering in the meantime so you don't feel bored. I'm sure something will come up that is a compromise and if you are planning on quitting while going to school, maybe a compromise is all you need? If you are working while going to school, it also wouldn't hurt to have a job that isn't quite so demanding!

mysticl · June 2014

I was in your shoes a few years ago. It sucked. I applied for literally hundreds of jobs and it took 3 months to just get a call. I got one job that seemed like a good opportunity and turned out to be hell. Then I got an offer for a job that had some potential but then a hiring freeze kicked in and they rescinded it. Finally got a part time job that I enjoyed for the most part.

I wasn't married through all of this so there was a lot of stress and I ended up being foreclosed on. DH and I got married shortly after I started the part time job.

Technically, I'm unemployed now but that's because I'm a SAHM and it is completely different.

What is your degree in?

emmaaa · June 2014

I'm sure this is tough to deal with! I haven't ever been unemployed. I worked full time through college except one semester I just did part time...I went crazy. Apply for jobs like it is your job. Make yourself a schedule to do it.

I was out of college for 3 months before I even got an interview (and is the job I have now) but it wasn't my dream choice. I think it is important to not set your expectations too high because you have to gain experience somehow and you don't want to pass up on someone willing to give you that experience.

In addition to Jells' suggestion of volunteering, maybe get a part time job. I worked as a waitress and a part time field manager while I applied for jobs. It is always easier to get a job if you have a job, even if it is part time in an unrelated field.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

I am not unemployed but I do currently hate my job. It is not what I want to do at all nor what I envisioned I would be doing once I graduated but 5.5 years later and I am still here. I am here because I have to work to be able to pay the bills. Would I love to do something else? Yup! But what I want to do and what will pay the bills are two very different things.

If what you want to be is a therapist and you are lucky enough to be able to get away with just a part time job due to your FI being able to pick up the rest of the slack then why don't you just do that and then concentrate on getting your Master's and going into the field that you really want to be in? You could even try and get a receptionist job in a therapists office to maybe get some insights and talk with professionals about their jobs, etc.

I have many friends who have graduated college and still don't have full time jobs (that was 6 years ago that they graduated). They are still working as a receptionist in a hair salon or selling cell phones at an AT&T store. They are irritated as all hell about where they are career wise but besides just applying and interviewing there really isn't much they can do.

I really don't know many people who get jobs right out of college or even years later that is exactly what they want to do in life. Many people work crap jobs their entire career because bills come first. I don't really feel like college prepares people for what the real world is like, but rather they make it sound like getting a job of your choosing at the pay grade you want is super easy and you will be happy and flying over rainbows everyday. Not so much. For those few that are lucky enough to get to do what they love every single day should count their blessings because for every one of them there are probably 10+ people like me who hate their current work situation but have to deal with it if they want to keep a roof over their heads.

larrygaga · June 2014

I have a bachelors in social work. I have some required experience, I had a social work internship for 8 months. I guess my biggest adversion to settling for a job I hate to pay the bills is because I watched my dad do that. He is miserable and we are still poor. I had to work at a job that was demeaning and shitty and I was still poor. I know I'm fighting a losing battle and I promise I'm not being picky when it comes to work. I am so very very lucky that FI can support us, but that doesn't mean I'm rolling in dough. It means that I can eat and I won't lose my apartment.

I just hate the fact that myself and so many, many people have to either choose between eating and shelter or working a job that is terrible and unfulfilling.

I do want to volunteer. I have been a volunteer up until I graduated, and I just fell off the wagon between moving and everything. I haven't even once been excited that I graduated because honestly it's like what the hell was the point of all that work? I think I am feeling how most new grads feel.

I am really in the dumps today and usually I'm much more optimistic about everything. I think I just needed to kick and scream and whine for a bit.

My internship was working with homeless, disabled and elderly people. I know how ungrateful I am. I experienced true life suck first hand.

I can eat. I have a home. I am getting married! I'm really done bitchin' now. Back to work, ya'll.

Inkdancer · June 2014

PREACH.

I am losing my damn mind. There's only so much packing I can do in one day, so I just look over the job sites and want to cry.

I"m sorry, you want me to be an intern? With seven years of work force experience. And you require proficiency in SQL or Salesforce.com. What the actual fuck.

chibiyui · June 2014

I sell mattresses. I have a BFA in animation. So yeah, I kinda understand your frustration. If you have the drive to be a therapist and your FI can support you while you work towards that, best of luck and keep working at it. I ended up where I am now in large part because not having a job, even shitty just above minimum wage retail, was not an option for me. While it sucks to be unemployed, getting stuck in something like say, sales, makes it harder to get back out sometimes. Volunteer, intern (which is a whole other load of bullshit, but it can get your foot in the door at least) focus the hell out of your studies. Best of luck to you.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

@larrygaga - I am sorry if my post came off as bitchy, that was not my intention. I think I may just be projecting some of my own current unhappiness about my job. And it does suck that so many people have to settle for jobs that they hate because they need to pay the bills. Sucks, sucks, sucks. And then you get into those jobs and you can't really find a way out because you need the money but you want to do something else but quitting would result in you losing your needed income which you need so that you can try and do what you really want to do. It is a vicious circle.

mysticl · June 2014

larrygaga said:

I have a bachelors in social work. I have some required experience, I had a social work internship for 8 months. I guess my biggest adversion to settling for a job I hate to pay the bills is because I watched my dad do that. He is miserable and we are still poor. I had to work at a job that was demeaning and shitty and I was still poor. I know I'm fighting a losing battle and I promise I'm not being picky when it comes to work. I am so very very lucky that FI can support us, but that doesn't mean I'm rolling in dough. It means that I can eat and I won't lose my apartment.

I just hate the fact that myself and so many, many people have to either choose between eating and shelter or working a job that is terrible and unfulfilling.

I do want to volunteer. I have been a volunteer up until I graduated, and I just fell off the wagon between moving and everything. I haven't even once been excited that I graduated because honestly it's like what the hell was the point of all that work? I think I am feeling how most new grads feel.

I am really in the dumps today and usually I'm much more optimistic about everything. I think I just needed to kick and scream and whine for a bit.

My internship was working with homeless, disabled and elderly people. I know how ungrateful I am. I experienced true life suck first hand.

I can eat. I have a home. I am getting married! I'm really done bitchin' now. Back to work, ya'll.

Me too. My first job out of school was front line staff in a residential facility for children and adolescents with mental health and behavioral disorders. The pay sucked (seriously the Burger King down the street paid more to start). It was shift work. I rotated between first and second shift and would pick up the occasional overnight because it was easy overtime. I worked weekends and holidays. It was dangerous. I was punched, kicked, spit on, hell, I have scars from that job. But the team I worked with were some of the most amazing people and I miss the connection we had. And you can't beat that job for the experience.

After that I went into therapeutic foster care. I was a case manager, a home developer, a crisis intervention instructor, and I did quality assurance and data analysis. I also mentored a couple of kids when we were short staff. The pay was decent, especially after residential. The hours depended on which of those jobs I was doing. Then came the unemployment.

Have you considered residential? It will make you a better therapist. A residential job may also work around your school schedule. We had people who worked second shift on Friday and then doubled on Saturday and Sunday. They were employed full time and got full benefits but still had the rest of the week off.

FWIW I don't think you sound ungrateful. You sound frustrated and that's okay. It took me about 3 months to get that residential job after I graduated. I was lucky that I was allowed to keep my campus job for a few months after graduation.

JCbride2015 · June 2014

Oh girl, I feel you. I'm so lucky that I can barely complain because I have my dream job lined up right out of law school-- but in the meantime I have to take the bar and wait until NOVEMBER, with no salary, to start. I'm jumping out of my skin. I can only imagine how I'm going to feel after the bar: 2 seconds of YAY, followed by.... so you're saying I still have three months to wait?

Keep trying. It sucks, but you'll find something. I like the suggestions of volunteering, or maybe taking a job that just seems interesting. Personally I really enjoyed working retail, because it was a high-end Mom and Pop type of store. Maybe you can find something like that you can keep busy with until you go back to school.

VulgarGirl · June 2014

I had some friends who never really had to work, except for an occasional summer job for spending money, and were surprised to find out when they graduated college they had to take shitty entry level jobs fetching coffees. But...but...they went to college!!! Not the same as what you're saying, it's been very annoying (some are still finishing up, or finishing grad school so it's still happening).

When I first started out (after my apprenticeship) I had the hardest fucking time getting jobs. The shop I did my apprenticeship at didn't need an artist. They were willing to hire to run the front though! No. I'm not shop bitch anymore. I'm a fucking artist. Let me be an artist. And of course, male dominated field, economy crash, all of it lead to me taking whatever jobs I could find that were vaguely related to what I wanted to do.

FI did get her dream job out of law school. And ended up hating it. Now she's a mediator, makes her happier.

afox007 · June 2014

I definitely understand your frustration. I was out of work for 8 months before finally taking a crap waitressing job. Job searching was overwhelming since everything I was qualified for paid less than half what I used to make.

PP's are right that having a job while looking helps I have had way more calls for interviews ever since I added that I am waitressing.

blabla89 · June 2014

I don't have anything else to contribute beyond what the PPs have already said, but I'm sending you lots of hugs.

debbeau · June 2014

It is frustrating. You do not sound ungrateful. You sound frustrated and want to work at something you are educated for. I took 5 years off to raise my daughter and when I wanted to go back to work it took 2 years to land something part time. DH says it is rough out there but sometimes he is just trying to make me feel better. Keep trying.

beethery · June 2014

MagicInk said:

I had some friends who never really had to work, except for an occasional summer job for spending money, and were surprised to find out when they graduated college they had to take shitty entry level jobs fetching coffees. But...but...they went to college!!! Not the same as what you're saying, it's been very annoying (some are still finishing up, or finishing grad school so it's still happening).

When I first started out (after my apprenticeship) I had the hardest fucking time getting jobs. The shop I did my apprenticeship at didn't need an artist. They were willing to hire to run the front though! No. I'm not shop bitch anymore. I'm a fucking artist. Let me be an artist. And of course, male dominated field, economy crash, all of it lead to me taking whatever jobs I could find that were vaguely related to what I wanted to do.

FI did get her dream job out of law school. And ended up hating it. Now she's a mediator, makes her happier.

I got told no SO MANY times when I was trying to get an apprenticeship. I ended up moving and I haven't tried since, but I think I'm going to start trying again after the wedding.

I got a FANTASTIC job right out of college, but the economy hit the floor, so budget cuts plus the fact that I was a spite hire in some kind of weird thing between HR and marketing, I got laid off after a couple months. Total bummer.

smalfrie19 · June 2014

I totally get it. I got laid off in February and searched for 3 months and was placed in a temp to hire assignment that was going really well (I thought) and then they ended my assignment after a month and a half. I started a new assignment today and I am REALLY hoping this one sticks because I need the money.

Cookie Pusher · June 2014

I was out of the traditional work-force for 2.5 years. It sucked. Many people thought it must have been great, getting "free" money from the government so I could sit on the couch all day. That was not at all what it was like. I was applying for jobs daily, I averaged 3 interviews a week for almost 2 years (making it to the final round interviews in many cases). I got nowhere until I landed my current job. I was fortunate to have enough savings to supplement my unemployment payments through the entire time, but most people do not have that luxury.

It's hard seeing what employers are looking for and what they're willing to pay for it. It's even harder being rejected for unknown reasons. It's not easy, and you're justified in feeling frustrated. I agree with PPs who suggest looking into volunteer work. That can open up doors to new contacts AND give you something to take the sole focus off applying for jobs so your stress level is reduced. I also did a lot of freelance work, which at least kept my skills sharp so my resume could stay up-to-date.

ETF stupid paragraphs

NYCMercedes · June 2014

One of my kids is in the same position as you and it really sucks. I'm sorry. I hope something comes up for you (and her) very soon. Wish I could do something to help you (and her).

lc07 · June 2014

You're allowed to feel the way you do. I'm bitching and moaning about a divorce and there are people in the world who are being raped and murdered.

Everyone has a battle. It doesn't mean yours is unimportant if it isn't the worst one. But I do think it's cool that you have a logical perspective that things aren't as bad as they could be. And I appreciated how raw you were in your OP.

I graduated from college and moved 3,000 miles away from everyone I knew and lived on an air mattress in an apartment from money saved from my waitressing days. No one wanted to hire me in my field. It was rough. I think it's particularly hard in this social media age where all you ever see everywhere is how fucking fabulous everyone else's life is (because they're telling everyone about it). And then you look at your own and say WTF AM I DOING. I also didn't know that friend A drove a Lexus but had a gazillion dollars in credit card debt. I just thought she could afford a Lexus easy peasy and I was too dumb to get a job, you know?

I also think job opportunities are sometimes like finding a partner. Sometimes when you quit trying so hard it happens. I don't mean to stop interviewing, but I mean to get out there and do stuff and talk about your passions. Be open and honest about where you're at and where you want to go. You will likely encounter people who want to help you or could point you in a good direction, sometimes in unlikely places.

I had an aha moment last year. I brought in 6 figures and I was still feeling shitty and unfulfilled. Whaaat. I thought this was what I wanted and what would fix everything? I focused so hard on making $ and lost focus of other more important things. Moral: there will always be a way of measuring that makes you feel like you aren't doing or being enough. So don't forget how awesome you are, please. It's inherent in you regardless of this job thing.

APDSS22 · June 2014

I know what you're going through. I graduated college and started looking for work. There wasn't any. The economy had tanked, no one was hiring. I got a grand total of 1 interview for work in the field I graduated in within 3 months and they didn't hire me. To be honest, I was okay with that because I knew as soon as I left that that would not have been a good place for me. One of the interviewers kept talking about being a Christian and how fulfilling her life was with her religion. Weird.

After that, I applied to work as a cashier at a retail job. Then I got accidentally promoted twice. And I was wedding planning, my fiance had just gotten a couple job offers in different cities. I let my job search go for about a year. Then we moved, I applied to the same company looking for a management position that wasn't open after all and backslid into the same job with the same company but in a different city. Then, I got married and I started looking again. I have gotten 1 interview and I thought it went SO well.

Then after 3 weeks (they said I'd hear back in 1 week) I got that lovely e-mail where they say "thanks for taking the time to interview with us, after consideration we hired someone better suited to the job..." It's not you, it's us. I hate those. Bad enough when you haven't even interviewed so all they've seen is your application but I saw these people, I talked to these people and I liked these people. I'm still working retail and applying for other jobs but that hit me hard.

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this because it is sucky crap.

goingon10yrs · June 2014

I was a Recruiter (Head Hunter for 10 years before I got sick), and there are Recruiters who work for Candidates (you) not Clients (Companies). Meaning, you shop them your resume, what you are looking for, they in turn shop you to clients. Doesn't cost you a thing, the clients pay the fee. Now, with that, there might not be movement right away, because they have to go through their client list/potential client list to find the ones that are looking for your specific position.

Depending on what/where you are looking will also depend on how quickly things move. Also, the season you are looking makes a difference. In the summer (particularly end of June/early July) things are going to move slower because people take vacations and just aren't as focused on hiring because of upcoming vacation. Things pick up in mid-August through October and slow down again in November, about a week before Thanksgiving. And most things will totally freeze in December because of waiting for the new year. Also, when the Q2 numbers come out in August, that is when companies will see how their year is going financially and if there is going to be a hiring freeze that is when it will happen.

Many companies will ask for 5 years exp, but college many times (depending on the field) and count for that. The same goes if they are asking for a degree and you don't have it but have that many years exp in the field, plus a few more.

A slick resume is nice, but have a clean (not overly formatted one) available as well, it will load into their computer system without a lot of reformatting. Also, when the Recruiter needs to clean it up for sending out, they will take of your contact info, etc, to shop your resume and if it's clean that is easier to do. The less work I have to do on a persons resume, the more apt I am to shop it.

If you are unsure about your resume, contact a (high-end) staffing agency, not a Kelly or Addecco. Someplace that focuses on permanent placement not temp to hire. They will help you, and making contacts in the staffing arena is good, because if they hear of something they can pass that information on to you.

Good Luck!

goingon10yrs · June 2014

Oh, on resume gaps. (As if I hadn't written a long enough post)

I'd rather see a gap, if you were in school/waiting for school to start; than a string of part-time work or jobs not in your field. If these jobs were during school, make sure the dates back that up. If you have years in your field then were laid off, I'd suggest that you format like this:

Name

Contact Info

Skills

Experience:

Jobs in your field

Other Work Experience:

Jobs not in your field

Education

Certifications

(work related only)

Make your resume clear and easy to read, I should be able to scan your resume, and see what job you are looking for/have had. Bold your job titles, use bullet points. And for the love of all that is holy, don't put an objective on there, I know your objective, you want a job. And for goodness sake, please don't put your hobbies on there, I truly don't care what you do outside of work, so long as you show up sober and do your job.

Also, no age, no high school, unless you don't have any college or the job posting requires it specifically. People will use that to see how old you are, and how much "real" experience you have. Unless you are just out of high school/college and don't have any "real" job experience I don't want to see that you worked at McDonalds when you were 15, that isn't relevant to me, and looks like you are just padding your resume.

Ok, sorry for the long post, again.

sophhabobopha · June 2014

You guys are making college student me kind of scared. ):

Being unemployed SUCKS (rant)

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