they look at me like I'm crazy!

JaniV123 · January 2014

I got engaged Dec 14, 2013, I am in the Med School Entering class of 2014. I am trying to get as much planning as possible done before July-August 2014 so as to leave only small stuff and details for my FI to do while I study. When I tell vendors my wedding is in 17 months they look at me like I am crazy for being so involved so early in the game. Then I explain I am going to Med School and they look at me like I am still crazy.

Why is it so weird to want to get things done ASAP before having to stress over school and a ton of wedding stuff. Geez

hlvonb · January 2014

@JaniV123

They look at you like you're crazy because they're not used to someone doing things so early and they may be thinking you're going to change your mind later on about whether or not you go with that particular vendor.

My fiance and I got engaged December 1st 2012 and we're getting married July 2014. We had the same thing from some vendors since we started booking early but oh well. We found vendors we liked who didn't give us looks or anything snarky when we told them our wedding date.

BaileyWhite2015 · January 2014

We had about 18 months before the wedding and I always felt I had to explain myself. With 14 to go now people are more understanding but I wish people had confidence in people planning ahead of time and being put together

futurearj · January 2014

I have a feeling I will be facing the same looks when it comes time for me to book venues. I just got engaged on 1/1/14, and we are planning on having the wedding in November 2016. The reason for the long engagement is my FI is in pharmacy school, and I will be doing an accelerated one-year BSN. We will both graduate in May of 2016. I would really like to get a lot of the planning done before May 2015, when I will start the accelerated program and my FI will be on his year of rotations... So I am not crazy for wanting to start planning this fall right?

Anyway, the point is I can totally relate to you OP, and I do not think you are weird or crazy at all!

emilie250 · January 2014

Definitely know what you're talking about! I contacted a photographer about 14 months ahead of the wedding date and she was very rude in her email response… She even said, "I'm not booking in 2015 yet, I'm still trying to fill up 2014!!!!" (with exclamation points) but our wedding is JANUARY 2. You'll find vendors that are willing to work with your schedule!

Tiffany101015 · January 2014

Yeah we are Oct 2015 so I have about a year and 8 months. I'm sorry I am going to school and work full-time- and this semester off is my own time available.

JLCSample2016 · January 2014

Same situation for me too! 12/13 we got engaged, planning a wedding for fall 2016. I work full time, school at night and my FI is in the military. Sorry I like to take my time planning rather than rushing all at the end!

telsmore · January 2014

Haha I'm the same way, I still didn't set a contract with my venue or get my final guest list done and I'm biting my nails trying to avoid the temptation of printing my invitations. It's normal to get excited. Maybe push the date sooner.

jessiray · February 2014

We booked our venue 18 months in advance of our wedding date (which is April 2014), and we were told that there were already bookings for April 2014! I'm a grad student, so I have spurts when I'm really busy, and right after we got engaged I had a period of time when I wasn't so busy, so I did a lot of planning then. It's really helped out, as we have less than 3 months to go and really aren't rushing around to get things done

Megusler · February 2014

See I'm getting married in May 2015 and since that's peak season we knew we needed to get things booked early. Plus I am graduating 3 weeks before the big day so as much as I can get done now or over the summer the better. I haven't had any negative reactions to starting early. In fact there was an inquiry about my date the day I signed the contract for my reception venue. If they're gonna judge you for being ahead of the game they have much larger issues at hand.

J&T=1207 · February 2014

I know what you mean. I don't understand what is wrong with planning your wedding that will happen in a little over a year. To me it reduces stress & gets decisions out in the open in case there is a disagreement or misunderstanding. I don't know why people think it's so crazy.

charlottesmom0626 · April 2014

I started booking things in January for my June 2015 wedding. The venue we booked only had 2 dates left at that time, so no one looked at me like I was crazy..

I think it probably depends on area/price range/what you're looking for. If you're flexible, you have time to sort those details later. If you know exactly what you want (i.e. a recommended DJ, etc.) then it makes sense to book as soon as you can! I'm with you

falsara · April 2014

I have gotten some of the crazy looks too. Me and FI were engaged in March of 2013 we're planning the wedding for May 2016. I bought my dress the June after I got engaged. We are now more than two years out and I've been talking to DJs and Photographers and venues, and they think I'm crazy, even after tell them that me and FI are both students, that some of our guests are military members that are overseas, and that we're getting married on my Birthday which is Memorial day weekend and the date is not negotiable. Oh and I'm planning a wedding in a different state.

Helloooooo! its a holiday weekend people. You bet I'm planning early and all of my STD and Invites are going out early too. I graduate 6 months before the wedding and FI doesn't graduate till 6 months after. I have waaaay to much shit going on to wait to the last minute and I can't afford to just go to Michigan on a whim, I have work and school in Chicago.

I have learned that if they look at you funny and aren't willing to talk to you with at least some civility then I don't want them to hire them for my wedding.

Erinable · April 2014

I'm in the same boat! I got engaged 2/2014 and we're planning for 4/2016. I've always wanted a spring wedding, and I won't be done with my master's until 5/2015. Instead of having a wedding just after graduation, we're waiting almost a year to plan everything with as little stress as possible. I've gotten a few weird replies form vendors, but two family members and three out-of-town guests have actually thanked us for having the wedding so far in advance!

I'll also add the 2 years is giving us time to save a little more and lose weight. If we had our wedding in 6-12 months from now, I think I'd regret skipping the few extras we'll be able to afford with a slightly larger budget. I also want to go down a dress size or two, just because I know that's when I feel my best. I'd rather lose weight over 2 years than a few months!

I just don't think crash dieting, wedding planning, and grad school is a good combination (at least for me!)

gograce · April 2014

Wow! I thought my 12-month engagement was long! You ladies are awesome! I'm sorry so many vendors are so rude and not very understanding to long-engaged couples. We're only waiting "so long" (engaged March 13, 2014 with March 15, 2015 as our wedding date) so we can both finish our undergrad in December and have my spring wedding.

Good luck to all of you!

Nikita2013 · May 2014

I'm in the same boat! Not only am I a student (undergrad- graduating hopefully in the spring 2016) and then planning on getting married in August either 2016 or 2017. My fiance wants to move in together, I don't have a job right now but I am looking for one. We have nothing saved for the wedding because the small amount I had saved up I had to put it towards school, and when I ask on prices n things like that they look at me like I'm insane! I like to plan ahead because that's just how I am so I've been contacting venues, DJs, things like that n getting prices to come up with a budget. Whenever I try to talk about it with my family they r the ones that are looking at me like I'm crazy more than the vendors and venues. It's just insanity.

LarraO2530 · May 2014

My FI and I got engaged Dec 2013 and will be getting married May 2016. I just found out about 2 weeks ago that I will be starting the accelerated ADN program the 12th of this month which will push me to grad May 2015 rather than May 2016. **Congrats and good luck to futurearj for the accel BSN** Like many of you, I am a planner, so I have been contacting venues, going to bridal shows, etc because we are looking at "prime wedding season" and we'd like a waterfront venue to boot. We are waiting until 2016 because 1) the accel program is based on grades and a waiting list, so even though I busted my butt it wasn't a guarantee 2) trying to plan over the course of just 1 year while going to school would make for a very grumpy and ultra stressed me..and 3) we figured that if things worked out *and they did* we will have a whole year for me to find a job and get settled and start making some REAL money to contribute to this wedding ... I understand completely the odd looks and sometimes snarky comments by vendors and venues, we just went to check out 2 of our prime spots over spring break, and boy were we disappointed in the (lack of) professionalism and sort of *meh you have 2 years why are you bugging me* attitude of the second location, as if we aren't serious about our inquiries. What's wrong with planning ahead?

astrojax · May 2014

I'm getting the "are you crazy?" not because of the timescale of our wedding planning, but definitely because of how it rubs up with my school. We got engaged April 5, and are getting married June 13, 2015. I just finished my fifth year of grad school and will be heading into full thesis mode over the next few months. So yeah, I'm planning a wedding and working on my Ph.D. thesis at the same time. The way I see it, it'll be easier than planning the wedding to occur right around my defense date.

KryssiW · May 2014

I'm really glad I read this thread. I got engaged on March 1st of this year, and we are planning to have the wedding in May 2016. I've been going around to see venues on my weekends free, and my vacations, and I've been getting pretty snarky comments as well. I'm a full time employee (45-50 hours per week) and a full time student also, so I definitely feel what a lot of you are going through. I get this knot in the pit of my stomach whenever I think of how I have NOTHING done yet. This makes me extremely stressed out, especially since I am taking classes in the summer and fall, so things won't get too much easier. I figure the more I get done now, the better off I'll feel.

JaniV123 · May 2014

Hey everyone thanks for replying and its nice to know I am not the only "crazy" one! I had been MIA for a while, finishing my last semester and all. Stay strong and all the "early" planning pays off in the end. I am almost at the 1 year mark and I feel like I dont have that many things still pending, and it gives me peace

maiorielloam6 · June 2014

I got engaged my senior year of undergrad, im currently in my 3rd year of graduate school, our wedding is next september (which will be my extern year)... We've been slowly planning things here and there. We booked our venue last december, so about a 18 months in advance. So i totally know where youre coming from.
I've been engaged for what feels like forever. I always thought it was so unfair when people would make comments about me planning things to early, or would say "why are you worrying about that now?" or "you have plenty of time"...I also though this was completely unfair because i felt like i couldnt enjoy my engagement. We both knew ours would be a long engagement and we prepared ourselves for it. I felt like some of the joy that engaged ladies get to have was taken away from me by all these downers who kept saying "its too early to be doing that"... Its so different when youre a student. You plan things when you have time for them. You really can't adhere to the timelines you find on pinterest or in wedding magazines.
I also sometimes feel like people don't take my engagement as seriously as people my age (or younger!!) who have gotten engaged after me and whose weddings are before mine. Matt and i have been together for 9 years this summer, my relationship is just as serious as theirs.

Anyway, i completely sympathize.. i know the struggle. You keep to whatever time line works for you.

they look at me like I'm crazy!

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