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Wedding 911

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koe2015koe2015 member
10 Comments First Anniversary
edited October 2014 in Wedding 911

Re: ~

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Well, you both need to get on the same page. You seem to want to very different events. 

    When we first got engaged, I wanted to do a DW on a beach with just our immediate families and best friends. FI wanted to have a wedding in NY (where we're from) with his extended family at a traditional venue. It wasn't what I had envisioned, but it meant a lot to him. So I compromised. 

    I do agree with you that you shouldn't go into debt for a wedding. And if you want to buy a house, that money would be better spent on a down payment. Again, you need to sit down and discuss this with your FI. 

    Will your FMIL be contributing any money to the wedding? If so, she does get to include some friends to the guest list. 

  • koe2015koe2015 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited October 2014
  • If you want a small/affordable wedding, $6500 for venue alone seems really, really high.  You could host a BBQ for 50 people in a park for a fraction of that - maybe even free. 
  • koe2015koe2015 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited October 2014
  • My daughter had an elegant morning ceremony followed by a brunch reception at a country club.  There was lots of food, as well as mimosas and bloody marys to drink.  It cost less than half what a big reception with dinner and open bar would have cost.  The guys were happy with their bacon and sausages!
    An afternoon ceremony with tea sandwiches, cake and punch is very traditional, as well as inexpensive.
    David's Bridal has amazing prices for wedding dresses, and your FI shouldn't wear a tux unless it's an evening wedding.
    You should be able to compromise.  Keep talking about options.  You should be able to find something that makes you both happy.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    My wedding was similar to CMGr's daughter's. It was at a country club/golf course in the morning with a lunch reception. We saved a lot by having mimosas and wine for alcohol. I agree that $6,500 just to rent the venue sounds freakishly high. You will definitely be able to find lovely places for much less. 

    You and your fiance need to sit down again and discuss exactly what kind of wedding you are looking to have, make compromises, and set an official budget. If you are paying, then you control the guest list. I agree there is no reason your FMIL needs to invite all these coworkers, etc. Once you have established the budget and size, your fiance needs to be the one to tell his mother how many people she may invite and that the subject is closed. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • My FI is from NY and we both currently live in VA (where I am from). More of my family will be at the wedding than his, of course. We both met in the middle on guests at 65. We are having ours at a local Golf & Country Club. We scored our place for $500 and then a $2,000 F&B minimum. One of the places we looked at (Barn type venue where you had to get multiple vendors yourself) was $8,500 just for the place. I think $6,500 is way too much for 50 people. All of the add-ons and such will begin to add up really quick. I agree that you and your FI need to sit down and really discuss what type of wedding you would like and set a budget. Setting a budget together up front is a HUGE help.
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