Getting in Shape

Blah, other people's comments vent

So lately I've been trying to make smarter food choices. Nothing major, just cutting out pop and adding a few more fruits instead of snacking on chips. 
Today we finally put new batteries in our bathroom scale and I found out I've lost almost 3 pounds. Great! I felt pretty good about that. 

A few hours later my FI was on the phone with a friend of his whose wedding we attended in May. His new wife was asking  if I was pregnant. The wife has seen me every few months for the last 2 years, and while I've gained weight, it hasn't been a drastic amount since the last time we visited. I can't see her asking because of the engagement because we've been together so long and it didn't surprise anyone, and we didn't drink at the wedding because we were driving home afterwards. The only reason I can figure for her asking is my weight/ body shape and now I'm feeling pretty deflated. I'm a little overweight and definitely out of shape, but I'm still within normal BMI and I don't gorge on fast food every day. 

I haven't been comfortable in my skin in years and I have issues staying motivated when I do try to make changes. I know something needs to change, and maybe this is the kick in the ass I need to get going, but damnit I'm angry and upset that a comment was even made about  my weight. The woman in question has recently lost about 35lbs and I admire that she worked hard and made it happen, but I don't think that gives her the right to be judgmental.

Has anyone else dealt with insensitive comments like this? Bonus points if you had a snarky reply to the offender. 
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Re: Blah, other people's comments vent

  • BreMRBreMR member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I wish I had a snarky reply to offer you, but the person who said it to me is my own six year old daughter.  "Mommy, it looks like you have a baby in your belly!" Ouch.  Meanwhile, I'm like you.. I'm still within the normal BMI range, but just out of shape.  It was definitely enough to get me motivated.

    I'm sorry that this was said, it can never be appropriate to hear.  However, I think the not drinking alcohol makes more sense than her making a comment about your weight!  
    image
  • Ugh sorry ladies. How about this gem from my mother. She told me when trying on wedding dresses that I looked like I gained weight. Great way to start that appointment, right? I started eating better and going to the gym. I've lost 20lbs since April! Instead of a compliment she says "You know you don't want to get too thin...people might think you're sick or something". Can I ever win?
    Knottie76468715adettma32nicemarmot
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Just tell yourself it was the not drinking.

    My grandmother said this to my mother, and my mother passed it on to me: "It's not polite to make comments." I love it.
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • Thanks ladies. A day later it's still on my mind. A few years ago a not-so-nice coworker made some comments about how I looked like I was 3 months pregnant. I was 19 years old, 5'6 and probably 125 lbs at the time and it stuck with me. I guess it's just a sensitive topic for me. 

    Family can be the worst. They can hit you where no one else can. I'm sorry you guys had to deal with that.

    Last night I started looking into Weight Watchers and tomorrow I'm checking out a free trial crossfit class at a local gym. I'm done feeling bad about myself. 
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    charlottesmom0626nicemarmot
  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Try not to let it get you down. I've been asked if I was pregnant twice (once in high school, the other time was more recent). I realized that both times, I was wearing an empire-style shirt. So no more of those.


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  • People are just horrible and you will look lovely. I promise.

     http://bridechiller.blogspot.co.uk

  • Thank you ladies. Great blog! 
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  • This happened to me at work once.

    cleaning lady: "oh are you pregnant??"

    me: uh.... no!

    CL: but you have a baby, right?

    me: Yeah, 2 years ago....

     

    Awkward. I didn't speak to her for two weeks, and I never wore that top again.

     

  • I was also told once that there was a rumor going around that I was pregnant because "No one's boobs look like that unless they're pregnant."

    Um excuse me? People are ignorant.

  • My mom makes shitty comments about my body almost every time I see her, and my best solution is basically just to stay as far away from her as possible.

    re: diet and exercise, the most effective thing I've found is to try and ease in a little at a time with small changes. You already sound like you're on a positive track with the "no soda/junk food" thing. The next thing could be maybe taking a walk after dinner each night? Or whatever will make you feel better. The more you focus on your habits, the less you tend to worry about what anyone else thinks.
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    nicemarmot
  • I joined a gym today. Two of my close friends (and wedding party) have memberships to the same gym and there's 3 locations in my area including one near my house and one near work that I have access to. I'm hoping between the convenience of multiple locations and the buddy system I've found something I can stick to. Fingers crossed!
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  • Ugh, people can be so insensitive! I am in the middle of sewing my own dress. I had the lining on to show my mom , then my dad walks over and pats my belly saying "this is too tight on you!" with a frown. Then he pats my belly again to prove it jiggles. I'm 5'7" and 125lbs. Like wut just leave my belly alone.
  • Wowww. Family is the worst. Good for you for sewing your own dress! I wish I was a good enough seamstress to tackle a wedding dress.
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  • jenbaer16 said:
    Thanks ladies. A day later it's still on my mind. A few years ago a not-so-nice coworker made some comments about how I looked like I was 3 months pregnant. I was 19 years old, 5'6 and probably 125 lbs at the time and it stuck with me. I guess it's just a sensitive topic for me. 

    Family can be the worst. They can hit you where no one else can. I'm sorry you guys had to deal with that.

    Last night I started looking into Weight Watchers and tomorrow I'm checking out a free trial crossfit class at a local gym. I'm done feeling bad about myself. 
    EXCUSE me???? That's in the low end of a healthy BMI, WTH does this asshole expect? No snarky comment, that guy would just get a big ol' middle finger from me.
    image
  • jenbaer16 said:
    Thanks ladies. A day later it's still on my mind. A few years ago a not-so-nice coworker made some comments about how I looked like I was 3 months pregnant. I was 19 years old, 5'6 and probably 125 lbs at the time and it stuck with me. I guess it's just a sensitive topic for me. 

    Family can be the worst. They can hit you where no one else can. I'm sorry you guys had to deal with that.

    Last night I started looking into Weight Watchers and tomorrow I'm checking out a free trial crossfit class at a local gym. I'm done feeling bad about myself. 
    EXCUSE me???? That's in the low end of a healthy BMI, WTH does this asshole expect? No snarky comment, that guy would just get a big ol' middle finger from me.
    It was a woman actually, and she was telling our other coworkers (when I wasn't present) that I looked like she did when she was 3 months pregnant.  6 years later it still makes me ragey but in hindsight I suspect it was a petty comment because she wasn't well liked and I was. 
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  • I would assume it was from the long dating relationship that turned into an engagement combined with not drinking at her wedding. My FI and I have been together 7 years and already have 4 year old twins. I'm very close to underweight due to a medical condition and when we got engaged a few months ago I had the same question several times. Everyone who asked knows me well and clearly I'm not pregnant looking, and knows that I don't drink much because I have medical issues and am wasted after half a glass of wine!
  • I'm a size 0, always have been, and I've been called fat. A close guy friend's girlfriend was jealous that he and I hung out, so she told him I was so fat that she couldn't stand to look at me, and I had a huge gut and looked pregnant. In college I was walking down the street and a car full of guys rolled down their window and screamed "fat ass" at me. Again, I'm a size 0. If anything, I've been jealous of the girls who aren't as skinny as me because I admire their curves, and I don't think being stick-thin is sexy. However, I just wanted to make the point that no matter what you look like, people will say nasty things. And those things aren't true. It clearly means nothing, it's just miserable/jealous/shitty people acting like assholes for no reason. It's a total waste of your time to let it get you down/
    image
    jennyleigh16
  • I'm a size 0, always have been, and I've been called fat. A close guy friend's girlfriend was jealous that he and I hung out, so she told him I was so fat that she couldn't stand to look at me, and I had a huge gut and looked pregnant. In college I was walking down the street and a car full of guys rolled down their window and screamed "fat ass" at me. Again, I'm a size 0. If anything, I've been jealous of the girls who aren't as skinny as me because I admire their curves, and I don't think being stick-thin is sexy. However, I just wanted to make the point that no matter what you look like, people will say nasty things. And those things aren't true. It clearly means nothing, it's just miserable/jealous/shitty people acting like assholes for no reason. It's a total waste of your time to let it get you down/
    Thank you! How terrible is it that when someone makes a comment like that we tend to look for our own faults instead of blaming the insensitive asshole who made the comment? Damn society. 
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  • Ugh sorry ladies. How about this gem from my mother. She told me when trying on wedding dresses that I looked like I gained weight. Great way to start that appointment, right? I started eating better and going to the gym. I've lost 20lbs since April! Instead of a compliment she says "You know you don't want to get too thin...people might think you're sick or something". Can I ever win?
    Preach
    nicemarmot
  • These comments are all super amazing. But kind of make me feel better about the lovely ones I've gotten. A few weeks ago I mentioned to FMIL that I was making my first alterations appointment for my wedding dress. She replied, "Why are you getting your dress altered? Have you lost weight?" Huh? But I took it as an opportunity to say, "Actually, I have lost weight! About 15 pounds." To which she said, "Really? I can't tell." Awesome, thanks, and also THEN WHY DID YOU ASK?

    Later on I showed her a photo of my dress. Response, "Oh, I see now why you're trying to lose weight." SWELL, THANK YOU!

  • @jenijoyk wow.. your FMIL sounds like a delight. :-/
    image
  • People can be asshats. Wedding planning has definitely reinforced that idea. 
    FMIL came with my mom and I for my first fitting and when I came out she said "oh, that's..that's what you're wearing." 
  • My severely obese father loves to make comments about my weight, while at the same time we never even had a scale in the house growing up. Although he and I have a lot of relationship issues, a lot of it stems from how bad he used to treat me based on my weight.

    I always got the sense from him that he, as a man, didn't need to remain thin while a woman, like me, absolutely had to be. The end result is that I've never been thin or healthy in my life. But I'm in the process of changing that, go me!

    I advocate shopping. I find when I go out and get something that makes me, today, look fabulous I don't hear the comments anymore because I know I look damn fine. :)

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
    TeddiD34
  • Go you!! 

    I'm starting to get  my ass in gear. I've been going to the gym twice a week for the last month. I know twice a week isn't much but I'm working on it and its better than nothing. I haven't noticed any changes in my body but I've noticed my endurance is getting better, so there's that. I'm still struggling a lot with eating better. I do a lot of fast food type lunches because I'll bring something from home and come lunchtime I just don't find it appealing anymore. Any suggestions for creative healthy lunches? And snacks?
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  • jenbaer16 said:
    Go you!! 

    I'm starting to get  my ass in gear. I've been going to the gym twice a week for the last month. I know twice a week isn't much but I'm working on it and its better than nothing. I haven't noticed any changes in my body but I've noticed my endurance is getting better, so there's that. I'm still struggling a lot with eating better. I do a lot of fast food type lunches because I'll bring something from home and come lunchtime I just don't find it appealing anymore. Any suggestions for creative healthy lunches? And snacks?
    I'm having really good luck with a 60 cal wrap with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter and 2 tablespoons of nutella. It ends up being like a room-temperature crepe and it holds me over ALL afternoon. I'll also eat 2-3 pieces of fruit a day and a little snack pack of rice cakes or something. Breakfast just tends to be a few pieces of turkey bacon (which also holds me over), coffee and a biscotti.

    YES I AM LOSING WEIGHT EATING NUTELLA. HOW AWESOME IS THAT.

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
    peachy13rcher912nicemarmot
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    First- great for you for knocking off the carbonated beverages and chips, super great choices that are obviously paying off :) Hope you keep up the good work for your wedding!

    Second- UGH people suck. Anytime I make a semi-healthy choice at work (salad for lunch, fruit for breakfast, etc.) my co-worker takes notice and makes a comment about me trying to lose weight for my wedding. Mind you, she's a great girl, but she seems to be insecure about her own body even though she's thin, and she's very obsessed with weddings despite the fact that she's unmarried. She started a club at work that runs after 5, and will always ask if I want to join. She told me recently "I'll get you to run soon! You'll want to be wedding-ready!!!"

    Thanks.
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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    jenbaer16 said:
    Go you!! 

    I'm starting to get  my ass in gear. I've been going to the gym twice a week for the last month. I know twice a week isn't much but I'm working on it and its better than nothing. I haven't noticed any changes in my body but I've noticed my endurance is getting better, so there's that. I'm still struggling a lot with eating better. I do a lot of fast food type lunches because I'll bring something from home and come lunchtime I just don't find it appealing anymore. Any suggestions for creative healthy lunches? And snacks?
    Someone at work once told me that if you're going to eat a salad for lunch, you better like what's in the salad. So true! I can't tell you how many times I've wasted $9 on a salad that I don't even like. I'm just not a salad person. But, I took this advice to heart. I went out and bought the things I love in a salad (spinach, goat cheese, walnuts, craisins, apples) and started bringing that to work in one of those very cute portable salad Tupperware containers.
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    nicemarmot
  • Try not to let it get you down. I've been asked if I was pregnant twice (once in high school, the other time was more recent). I realized that both times, I was wearing an empire-style shirt. So no more of those.

    THIS!  I was waiting for my now ex-husband to pay for a dvd at Blockbuster and the cashier congratulated my husband (on my being pregnant).  I said, "What?! I'm not pregnant!" and ran out of the store.  Leaving my husband staring at this guy and still having to complete a totally awkward transaction.

    I WAS WEARING AN EMPIRE WAIST DRESS. Never again.

  • Oh man.  I know I am coming in waaaay late but couldn't resist posting.  I've been asked a few times at work.  And, get this, once even in the changeroom at the gym!  Newsflash:  bike shorts that hold in your gut are not flattering when you are changing into them and you already are a short girl who needs to lose 10-15 pounds.  I actually had the guts to say to the middle aged woman (they're always middle aged, eh?)  "You know, you should never ask someone that!  Ever.  Again."  She gave me a half-assed "sorry you were offended" (i.e. the classic "sorry-not sorry") apology.  Interesting post-script:  I've been going to that same gym for 10 years.  That was the one and only time I ever saw her.  Ha-haaaaa.
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