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"Lingerie Shower" Thank You Etiquette

bunnyprincess2014bunnyprincess2014 member
Third Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hey Knotties!

I'm in need of some etiquette advice regarding the content of thank yous for a lingerie shower. My FMIL and her friends are very generously throwing me a lingerie/intimates shower. While it is a bit awkward, I'm not too easy to embarrass (and I cannot turn down free fancy underwear)! My question is, what is acceptable to put in a thank you, particularly if the gift is from someone I do not know that well. I know some of the guests are going to be friends of FMIL who I may have only met briefly. Generally, when I write thank yous, I try to discuss why I appreciate the gift I received--I'm not sure how to do this with "sexy" items. Is it ok in these cases to do a more general "Thank You so much for the generous gift"? Is there anything else I can put in the thank you to personalize it or make it less bleh and lacking in thought without being weird or crass?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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Re: "Lingerie Shower" Thank You Etiquette

  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    I don't think you'll have to worry about writing awkward things to people you don't know well. I for one, would not buy intimate apparel for someone I had met briefly. I would get them a gift card, candle or bath & lotion set - all items that can be described in a tactful thank you note. 

    Honestly, I'd decline the invite - I don't want to watch  stranger open lingerie...I guess I'm too easily embarrassed :-X Have fun :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Honestly, anyone who would receive an awkward thank-you note will probably feel too awkward about this shower to show up.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You could say you like the color or that it fits or it is beautiful or you're taking it on the honeymoon.
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  • offensivekitten2offensivekitten2 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I personally would be vague and general. Any person who wants to know how you used and intimate item probably shouldn't have that info in the first place.



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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I agree just be vague. Just say you appreciate the X and it was so nice to see them at the shower.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Just thank them for the gift then say how it was so nice to see them, etc., etc.
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    "Thank you so much for the red push up bra! I will use it often as it is FI's favorite color and I am sure he won't be able to keep his hands off of me in this hot number!"

    Just kidding!

    I, too, would be vague. "Thank you so much for taking the time to attend my shower. It was wonderful seeing you! Also thank you very much for the gift! It was very thoughtful of you."

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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My friend had one, and I got her a nighty set (because she's much more easily embarressed than I am, so I played nice). Her thank you note to me was "Thank you for coming to my shower, I love the beautiful set you got me, such a wonderful color! I look forward to seeing you at the wedding", very simple and not awkward.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Thank you so much for the lovely gift! I enjoyed celebrating at the shower with you. Can't wait to see you at the wedding.
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    beethery said:
    Something like this got brought up before. To a close friend who knows how truly fucking gross I am, I would write something like this:

    "Dear ____,

    Thank you so much for the [lingerie item here]. It is absolutely gorgeous, and your taste is impeccable. I will do my best to make sure it is not ruined by bodily fluids, and I will think of you while nailing my husband, post wear of [lingerie item].

    Best regards, and please let me know if you have a good dry cleaner in your rolodex!
    --Beethery"
    I would do something like that. Which is probably why the idea of throwing us a lingerie shower was very quickly taken off the table.
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  • bunnyprincess2014bunnyprincess2014 member
    Third Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
    beethery said:
    Something like this got brought up before. To a close friend who knows how truly fucking gross I am, I would write something like this:

    "Dear ____,

    Thank you so much for the [lingerie item here]. It is absolutely gorgeous, and your taste is impeccable. I will do my best to make sure it is not ruined by bodily fluids, and I will think of you while nailing my husband, post wear of [lingerie item].

    Best regards, and please let me know if you have a good dry cleaner in your rolodex!
    --Beethery"
    This is my sense of humor too. Believe me, my best friend/MOH will be getting a much different thank you than my FMIL or my FI's godmother. Thank you all so much for the suggestions and advice. It is very helpful.
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  • happywigglehappywiggle member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    SaraBrideSoon said:

    "Thank you so much for the red push up bra! I will use it often as it is FI's favorite color and I am sure he won't be able to keep his hands off of me in this hot number!"

    Just kidding!

    I, too, would be vague. "Thank you so much for taking the time to attend my shower. It was wonderful seeing you! Also thank you very much for the gift! It was very thoughtful of you."

    i absolutely would be saying that... 
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Definitely compliment something you love about the item - color, fabric, the lace, the fit, etc.

    I gave my sister cotton bikinis for her lingerie shower. She was stoked.  ("These are for him, but THESE are for ME!" lol)
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    RebeccaB88 said:
    Definitely compliment something you love about the item - color, fabric, the lace, the fit, etc.

    I gave my sister cotton bikinis for her lingerie shower. She was stoked.  ("These are for him, but THESE are for ME!" lol)
    I read "the fit" as "the lift" and I was going to say - well that's a bit personal.
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  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    My FMIL threw a lingerie shower for a close friend of mine a couple of years ago. I got my friend a cute flowy top thingy and underwear to match (I don't even know the proper terms of what lingerie items I bought). This was her thank you note:

    Dear Emma,
    Thank you so much for the white and gold set of lingerie you bought for me! It is really beautiful and I'm sure I will wear it often. Blah blah blah thanks for coming.

    So she did say what I bought her but didn't say anything too awkward. I don't know, I guess I don't embarass easy either.

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  • kitsunegari89kitsunegari89 member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I would be weird and write exactly what the gift is, but that's just me.


    "Dear X, thank you for the beautiful babydoll nightie with open cups and matching g-string. I am sure I will put it to good use"
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd probably thank them for their generosity and let them know how wonderful it was to see them, but not mention the gift too specifically.
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  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    OH DEAR SWEET BABY JESUS I WOULD DIE.

    I would send the worst ever. "Thank you for the pretty underclothes thing kthxbai"

    I am thankfuller and thankfuller that I will be having no showers of any kind.
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  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    OP, I agree with many previous posters - it's a good idea to get somewhat specific without going overboard: thank you so much Aunt Sally for the beautiful silk corset. It was nice to see you blah, blah, blah. But for the lurkers - this is definitely a know your crew type of situation if you're hosting a shower! How many women on here think a lingerie shower is a great idea? A bunch. But how many are cringing at the thought of being in the same room as their Grandmother and some provocative underthings? Just as many. If the bride is going to be uncomfortable, there's no reason to put her through it!
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    "Thank you so much for the silk nighty. It's going to look great tossed on the floor. If its use results in any babies we'll name them after you."

    But seriously... focus on the thoughtfulness of the gift-giving rather than the gift itself.

    "Thank you so much for the beautiful gift! It was so generous of you to think of me, and the (color/material/easy access/tear-away feature) is lovely. I hope you had a wonderful time at the shower - it meant the world to me to see everyone there. I can't wait to celebrate our wedding day with you!"

    OK, apparently I can't be fully serious, but you get the point. Then write really big so you fill up the card quickly.
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  • April192002April192002 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    banana468 said:
    How about, "I'll think of you every time I use it! "

    ...and make it even more personal by including a photo of you wearing it!

     

    I'd probably go along the lines of Thank you for the (insert color, style, something item specific) lingerie. It was very thoughtful/I absolutely love it. Add a little personal comment specific to them and I can't wait to see you at the wedding!

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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Inkdancer said:
    Honestly, anyone who would receive an awkward thank-you note will probably feel too awkward about this shower to show up.
    I think this is true
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Oh my goodness, ladies, you crack me up! I'm on my phone waiting for H to wake up, and I was laughing so much, I woke him up.

    My sister's TY went something like this.

    "Thank you for the nightie. It's really cute. The first time I put it on, "Oswald" said, 'Are you sure it's not on backwards?' (If you recall, the back of it looked like this *diagram*)"

    It had a very strappy and open back. Haha. But that's my sisters and I.

    My lingerie shower was part of my bachelorette and was only friends my age.
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