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Deterring Unnecessary Questions

Tiffers287Tiffers287 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I currently work at a job that I have access to a computer for most of my work time. Sometimes in my down time I like to use this to look at wedding details ect. Because of this, people, even some I don't know that well, seem to ask a lot of questions regarding the ceremony dates and ect. Some people even ask when I'm not doing anything wedding related. How do I deal with their blatant nosiness without being a dick about it?

I wouldn't have as much of a problem if the feedback they offered was actually helpful in some way. When I answer the questions I try to be as breif as possible to curb the questioning but it just leads to more follow up questions. Any other tips or advice on how you handled it?

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Re: Deterring Unnecessary Questions

  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Just shrug. At my last job I got really annoying questions and I always just shrugged at them.

    I'm kinda sassy though.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Tell them you haven't finalized details yet and then change the subject. Or tell them you'd rather not discuss the wedding at work. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Tiffers287 said:

    I currently work at a job that I have access to a computer for most of my work time. Sometimes in my down time I like to use this to look at wedding details ect. Because of this, people, even some I don't know that well, seem to ask a lot of questions regarding the ceremony dates and ect. Some people even ask when I'm not doing anything wedding related. How do I deal with their blatant nosiness without being a dick about it?

    I wouldn't have as much of a problem if the feedback they offered was actually helpful in some way. When I answer the questions I try to be as breif as possible to curb the questioning but it just leads to more follow up questions. Any other tips or advice on how you handled it?

    We haven't decided yet.
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  • offensivekitten2offensivekitten2 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    1) Stop having wedding stuff up at work. 80% of your problems will go away if you change that one thing.

    2) Ask people a personal question. For real, people love talking about themselves more than anything else in the universe.

    Ex: "Oh, I don't know, we haven't decided. Oh hey, how is your cat? I heard she was sick?"

    Bam, done and done.



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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    AddieCake said:
    Tell them you haven't finalized details yet and then change the subject. Or tell them you'd rather not discuss the wedding at work. 
    I feel like you can't say you don't want to talk about the wedding if you're openly looking at wedding stuff at work thought. 
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  • mrsmorales2bemrsmorales2be mod
    500 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    indianaalum said:
    I think the best way is to avoid publicly using a computer to work on wedding details, to be honest. It's basically like reading a wedding magazine in front of someone and then getting mad that they ask about the wedding. If you are doing wedding planning in broad daylight in front of these people, I think it is natural for them to ask about the wedding.

    My guess is that they are just making conversation with you innocently based on the fact that you have a wedding website open. To prevent it, perhaps leave your wedding planning for your own time, or find a more private place during your downtime to do wedding planning.


    So much this.  Good luck with the planning, but if you want to avoid questions at work you'll probably have to check the planning at the door.  If the questions still keep coming after that, bean dip the heck out of them.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    RebeccaFlower said:
    AddieCake said:
    Tell them you haven't finalized details yet and then change the subject. Or tell them you'd rather not discuss the wedding at work. 
    I feel like you can't say you don't want to talk about the wedding if you're openly looking at wedding stuff at work thought. 
    I considered this as well. However, just b/c I'm looking at stuff doesn't mean I want to talk about it with my coworkers, you know?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    If people see you looking at wedding stuff at all in the workplace, they're going to ask you about your wedding whether you're looking at those things at that very moment or not. They likely mean well, but if it makes you uncomfortable, leave the wedding planning for after work and the questions will probably stop eventually. 

    If anyone asks after that, just give the briefest answer possible and then change the subject, especially if you're not inviting everyone from your office to the wedding. 
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    From experience of being bombarded with questions/suggestions in the workplace, bean-dipping is your best option aside from straight up saying "I'd rather not get too caught up talking about it, especially at work when I don't know how many people we're going to be inviting." Still, bean-dip after that.

    FWIW, telling people "we haven't decided" usually leads to "OMG well you HAVE to try this place/cake/baker/florist/venue/photog/etc." Like @offensivekitten2 said, people love talking about themselves. You telling them you haven't made a decision on something essentially signals to them to offer all the fabulous suggestions and wealth of information they possess themselves. Or, it prods them to inquire what options you're considering, and then they continue to inject their opinion. "I'd rather not discuss it at work" is your best bet. 
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    This has nothing to do with OPs question, (but I agree to try to bean dip and redirect a question to them)

    Y'all. I had a patient ask me how much I was spending on my wedding. I'm a nurse, and the question was spurred because of my engagement ring. I was stunned and speechless before answering "just enough to make it perfect for us."

    Talk about an unnecessary question.

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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I asked a co-worker a bunch of questions about her wedding because I was in charge of her surprise work shower and I wanted to get the decorations to match her wedding as best I could.  
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  • Tiffers287Tiffers287 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    That's how I feel. I know I'm kinda setting myself up to be asked some questions and don't mind the general ones. My issue is when it's gets too specific since I don't talk to them like that anyway
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    If you're doing wedding stuff at work, you're kind of inviting others to talk about it. So just keep the wedding stuff at home.
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