Just Because I Feel Sick...

loveislouder · June 2014

Does NOT mean I'm pregnant. Why does everyone draw that conclusion first.

My boss today: "You look like shit. Are you not feeling well?"

Me: "Not in the slightest."

Boss: "Are you pregnant?"

I have a cold, not a fertilized egg, thank you.

ETA: TK, stealer of paragraphs.

JCbride2015 · June 2014

The running joke at Fi's alma mater (a state school famous for STDs, and not the kind you hang on your fridge) was that no matter what you went to the health services for, if you were a woman you were pregnant and if you were a man, you had an STD. Stuffy nose? Pregnant. Rash? Pregnant. Cough? Pregnant.

WinstonsGirl · June 2014

I get it whenever I turn down alcohol. No, maybe I just don't want/can't have a drink at the moment cos of other things (driving, practice that night, etc.)

chibiyui · June 2014

Yeah. I get that alot for various not actually pregnant things.

Me "I feel moody"
Coworker "Are you pregnant?"
Me. "NO FUCK YOU"
Coworker ".......Are you sure?"

Me"Honey, my back hurts and I'm cold and feel terrible"
H" Awww. I'm sorry. Do you want cuddles? *Rubs belly* Be nice to mommy"
Me" FUCK YOU I'M NOT PREGNANT"

That said. I have already apologized in advance to my coworkers and H because I'm probably going to be pretty miserable to me around when I actually am pregnant.

jdluvr06 · June 2014

This has never happened to me. I guess I should feel lucky. That would be so annoying.

Cookie Pusher · June 2014

JCbride2015 said:

The running joke at Fi's alma mater (a state school famous for STDs, and not the kind you hang on your fridge) was that no matter what you went to the health services for, if you were a woman you were pregnant and if you were a man, you had an STD. Stuffy nose? Pregnant. Rash? Pregnant. Cough? Pregnant.

Having graduated from that same institution (with no STDs!), I can tell you that only partially true. I used the health services offered for pretty much every medical issue I could. I went in once after slamming my hand in a car door - my finger was ripped open, I had chipped the bone that was now visible through the gash, and was in a decent amount of discomfort. I was asked if I wanted to take a pregnancy test and recommended to take an STD panel. This was about 2 weeks after I had my annual physical where all of those tests were performed already. I had also gone in for chronic nosebleeds and was asked to take a pregnancy test and STD panel.

I think the STD stats are actually skewed for the school BECAUSE they insist on testing everyone. And the results do stipulate that the infection rate is for students who use the university's health services, not the entire student population, so the smaller sample size makes it seem more common.

PrincessOfHavoc · June 2014

Alcohol is not a friend. It likes to give me vicious headaches from half a Mike's Hard Lemonade. So I have issues with paying $7.50 for half a drink and a headache.

Waiter - What to drink?
Me - Iced tea, thanks.
Waiter - Congratulations, when is the baby due?

Seriously? Instant I don't want alcohol, I'm knocked up?

Or my rare cycle decides to visit - I have one every 6-7 months with my Mirena - and my back is pissy.

Me - Gimme a salt lick, chocolate and a heating pad.
Anyone - Aww, is pregnancy hurting?
Me - Fuck no. It's damn Shark Week.
Anyone - Are you sure.....
Me - Shark. Week. Opposite problem.
Anyone - Are you sure...... go pee on a stick.
Me - Fucking Shark Fucking Week. My Pikachu is draining blood. I'll dump my fucking chum bucket on you if you don't shut up. Then I'm making good on my sledgehammer threats.

AddieCake · June 2014

Once I said I was craving pizza, and got the "you're pregnant!" response. Yeah. Because pizza is such a CA-RAZY craving, yo!

Plus, it always upsets me b/c we're TTC, and I want to respond, "No, I'm not. But thanks for reminding me." People don't think about anything before they speak.

larrygaga · June 2014

I remember feeling queasy at work one day, and my manager was all

"I bet you're pregnant"

"I'm on my period"

"That doesn't mean anything"

"I'm also 15"

"That also doesn't mean anything"

How about you shut up. I think even at 15 I know how my reproductive system works.

larrygaga · June 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

JCbride2015 said:

The running joke at Fi's alma mater (a state school famous for STDs, and not the kind you hang on your fridge) was that no matter what you went to the health services for, if you were a woman you were pregnant and if you were a man, you had an STD. Stuffy nose? Pregnant. Rash? Pregnant. Cough? Pregnant.

Having graduated from that same institution (with no STDs!), I can tell you that only partially true. I used the health services offered for pretty much every medical issue I could. I went in once after slamming my hand in a car door - my finger was ripped open, I had chipped the bone that was now visible through the gash, and was in a decent amount of discomfort. I was asked if I wanted to take a pregnancy test and recommended to take an STD panel. This was about 2 weeks after I had my annual physical where all of those tests were performed already. I had also gone in for chronic nosebleeds and was asked to take a pregnancy test and STD panel.

I think the STD stats are actually skewed for the school BECAUSE they insist on testing everyone. And the results do stipulate that the infection rate is for students who use the university's health services, not the entire student population, so the smaller sample size makes it seem more common.

STUCK IN BOX

"Yes, while I'm busy bleeding out of my exposed finger bone, I would love to take a pregnancy test. After all, as a woman that is my first and only priority."

KeptInStitches · June 2014

JCbride2015 said:

The running joke at Fi's alma mater (a state school famous for STDs, and not the kind you hang on your fridge) was that no matter what you went to the health services for, if you were a woman you were pregnant and if you were a man, you had an STD. Stuffy nose? Pregnant. Rash? Pregnant. Cough? Pregnant.

Same here. Broken arm? Pregnant.

Yes, that one actually happened to me. And they didn't set the bone correctly. My friend the mortician has assured me that arms are not supposed to look like mine.

JCbride2015 · June 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

JCbride2015 said:

The running joke at Fi's alma mater (a state school famous for STDs, and not the kind you hang on your fridge) was that no matter what you went to the health services for, if you were a woman you were pregnant and if you were a man, you had an STD. Stuffy nose? Pregnant. Rash? Pregnant. Cough? Pregnant.

Having graduated from that same institution (with no STDs!), I can tell you that only partially true. I used the health services offered for pretty much every medical issue I could. I went in once after slamming my hand in a car door - my finger was ripped open, I had chipped the bone that was now visible through the gash, and was in a decent amount of discomfort. I was asked if I wanted to take a pregnancy test and recommended to take an STD panel. This was about 2 weeks after I had my annual physical where all of those tests were performed already. I had also gone in for chronic nosebleeds and was asked to take a pregnancy test and STD panel.

I think the STD stats are actually skewed for the school BECAUSE they insist on testing everyone. And the results do stipulate that the infection rate is for students who use the university's health services, not the entire student population, so the smaller sample size makes it seem more common.

Yes, I think this is very true. Same thing with having a higher reported incidence of sexual assault. I think this school is just more honest than a lot of other ones. I mean.... I'm sure the STD rate is higher than, say, BYU. But I'm sure some other schools are fudging their numbers.

Inkdancer · June 2014

KeptInStitches said:

JCbride2015 said:

The running joke at Fi's alma mater (a state school famous for STDs, and not the kind you hang on your fridge) was that no matter what you went to the health services for, if you were a woman you were pregnant and if you were a man, you had an STD. Stuffy nose? Pregnant. Rash? Pregnant. Cough? Pregnant.

Same here. Broken arm? Pregnant.

Yes, that one actually happened to me. And they didn't set the bone correctly. My friend the mortician has assured me that arms are not supposed to look like mine.

I had to go in because I hadn't had a period in 11 months. Of course, they ask if I'm pregnant.

Well no, or else I'd have a child sitting on my lap, since those only take 9 months. And also that would be the second coming of Christ since I wasn't sleeping with anyone at the time.

"Are you sure?" YES I'M FUCKING SURE I'M NOT FUCKING ANYONE.

jennyleigh16 · June 2014

I recently overheard a phone call between my FI and his friend whose wedding we attended in May.

Friend: (new wife) wants to know if there's something you and (my name) want to tell us something?

FI: *laughs* no.

Friend: Is (my name) pregnant?

FI: Definitely not.

Friend: Are you suuuuure?????

FI: Yes. (my name) is not pregnant.
Friend: Are you reeeealllly suuuuure???????

Ugh. Even if I was, if I haven't told you, there's a reason for it. Pretty sure my reproductive cycle is none of your damn business.

mrsmorales2be · June 2014

I had an ex pull this stunt on me once when I had a stomach bug and was sick for days. He had had a vasectomy years before and, barring a miracle, basically no chance of me getting pregnant anyway. He thought it was hilarious. I disagreed. There's definitely a reason he's an ex.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

Ugh. Yup, I get this when I feel crummy, when I'm moody, when I want ice cream, etc. It's especially annoying when in reference to that random puking problem... "Hey, maybe you're pregnant!" Yes, with a fucking 4 year old because that's how long this has been happening. Good call, House.

And super hated it when I was single...nope, pretty GD sure that since I had my period 2 weeks ago and haven't banged anyone in 6 months, that's not the case. Stop rubbing it in.

AlexaF2014 · June 2014

I had a super bag stomach bug in November and had to call off work (my first time ever, so co-workers knew it was bad). I come back the next day still feeling weak/ a bit dehydrated and I had stomach sensitivity for the next week. I had to walk through the animal care facility with one of my female coworkers (old enough to be my mom), and when I gagged at the smell of the animal chow, she asked if I was pregnant. Nope nope nope nope nope nope. The chow smells bad on a good day, and I just had my period. Full of nope.

beethery · June 2014

I was sick every morning for a week, and my mom asked EVERY MORNING if I was pregnant.

I finally explained, I've been throwing up every morning because usually by afternoon, I feel ok enough to eat, and I guess it all digests and starts making me feel like a washing machine in the morning.

That and after 5 rounds of "Are you PREGNANT?" NO FUCKING WAY, MA she eventually got it.

MollyandD · June 2014

Just start telling them yes, you are pregnant. Let them scratch their heads at the next party when you have a drink in your hand.

I'm totally kidding, but it would be funny.

elizabetheleven · June 2014

All the time!

I have IBS and GERD, so always sick. But one little tummy ache and I'm automatically preggers!

FiancB · June 2014

FI is super paranoid. I've stopped telling him if I feel squicky or my boobs hurt or if I'm cranky.

Before meeting him I had some mystery nausea going on, went to the doc and naturally was asked if I could be pregnant. I did appreciate that they believed me when I said no since that's not always the case. When I was in school I had some down-there itchiness going on which I assumed was a YI (it was a pH issue, but still). They asked if I could have an STD and I said no, I didn't need a test. When I looked at the tests ran I saw they ran the gamut of STD tests anyway.

I get I'm sure docs get liars and people in denial all the time, but if that's the case that's my own damn problem.

wandajune6 · June 2014

Student health at my college made me get a pregnancy test and an std panel when I had what I thought was a stomach issue. I remember arguing that it was hard to be pregnant or have STDs when you're a virgin. They were genuinely surprised when it was an appendix issue.

I'm always assumed to be pregnant now when I turn down wine.

LadyMillil · June 2014

My department has seminars with food and drinks each quarter. I've been able to drink at most of them for the past school year because my carpool buddy was pregnant so she drove me home. She had her baby the same week I got married, so she was on mat leave for the last seminar. I didn't drink because I was driving but I kept getting asked if I was pregnant because I was married and not drinking.

lc07 · June 2014

FiancB said:

FI is super paranoid. I've stopped telling him if I feel squicky or my boobs hurt or if I'm cranky.

Before meeting him I had some mystery nausea going on, went to the doc and naturally was asked if I could be pregnant. I did appreciate that they believed me when I said no since that's not always the case. When I was in school I had some down-there itchiness going on which I assumed was a YI (it was a pH issue, but still). They asked if I could have an STD and I said no, I didn't need a test. When I looked at the tests ran I saw they ran the gamut of STD tests anyway.

I get I'm sure docs get liars and people in denial all the time, but if that's the case that's my own damn problem.

Are they even allowed to do that? That's messed up. I hope they didn't bill you for it either.

@AddieCake, that happened to my sister for the longest time when they were TTC. They had a hard time, did IVF which was successful (but then they had a miracle baby after IVF, too, naturally). Anyway, it was rough and she either wanted to throat punch people regularly or just cry. Knowing what she went through made me super sensitive to talking to people about TTC/wanting babies, etc.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

wandajune6 said:
Student health at my college made me get a pregnancy test and an std panel when I had what I thought was a stomach issue. I remember arguing that it was hard to be pregnant or have STDs when you're a virgin. They were genuinely surprised when it was an appendix issue.

I'm always assumed to be pregnant now when I turn down wine.

Good reason to never turn down wine.

misshart00 · June 2014

I was sick a couple weeks ago and for the first time in pretty much ever, I absolutely did not think I was pregnant (because I do freak out at symptoms).

Took a pregnancy test a week later. Positive. Took like ten more. All positive.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

misshart00 said:
I was sick a couple weeks ago and for the first time in pretty much ever, I absolutely did not think I was pregnant (because I do freak out at symptoms).

Took a pregnancy test a week later. Positive. Took like ten more. All positive.

Congrats!!!

misshart00 · June 2014

lolo883 said:

misshart00 said:
I was sick a couple weeks ago and for the first time in pretty much ever, I absolutely did not think I was pregnant (because I do freak out at symptoms).

Took a pregnancy test a week later. Positive. Took like ten more. All positive.
Congrats!!!

Thanks. I don't mean to hijack the thread. This one is so much worse. My doc had to give me medicine because my stupid nausea.

jdluvr06 · June 2014

misshart00 said:

I was sick a couple weeks ago and for the first time in pretty much ever, I absolutely did not think I was pregnant (because I do freak out at symptoms). Took a pregnancy test a week later. Positive. Took like ten more. All positive.

Congrats!!!!

Cookie Pusher · June 2014

JCbride2015 said:
Yes, I think this is very true. Same thing with having a higher reported incidence of sexual assault. I think this school is just more honest than a lot of other ones. I mean.... I'm sure the STD rate is higher than, say, BYU. But I'm sure some other schools are fudging their numbers.

Yep. The school has a bunch of other issues, but this kind of stuff has been pretty transparent. I remember that even when I was there, all students got emails any time there were crimes committed in areas near campus. It's a pretty big city with some rough areas, so they did want students to be vigilant. With so many students living off-campus, it was a big deal for them.

larrygaga said:

STUCK IN BOX

"Yes, while I'm busy bleeding out of my exposed finger bone, I would love to take a pregnancy test. After all, as a woman that is my first and only priority."

You should have seen the look I gave to the receptionist. Seriously, if looks could kill, they'd have been down a staff member! At least it's an extra funny bit to talk about when I show people the scar from my broken middle finger! heh

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