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Pre-wedding Parties

Pre-Wedding Get-Togethers

The weekend of my bridal shower, my fiance and I made reservations at a local restaurant (fun, not upscale) for the entire bridal party and their significant others to get to know one another. Just a fun, casual night out. The original impetus was for my out-of-town bridesmaid to meet everyone, although she won't be able to make it now :(.

I was wondering what (if any) etiquette there was on this kind of a gathering. Since it's technically a "bridal party event," are we supposed to foot the bill? Of course, coming is not "mandatory" - just a fun night out. Naturally, they're all close friends, and some of them have even gone out with us to this same restaurant before for birthdays, etc, and everyone paid their own way. Will they be expecting us to pay, because it's a "wedding event"? My fiance says no, but I wanted other opinions just in case.

At the very least, I suggested to him that it might be appropriate or appreciated to get everyone's first round of drinks or something, just as a "thanks" for being there.

Thoughts?

Re: Pre-Wedding Get-Togethers

  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    The weekend of my bridal shower, my fiance and I made reservations at a local restaurant (fun, not upscale) for the entire bridal party and their significant others to get to know one another. Just a fun, casual night out. The original impetus was for my out-of-town bridesmaid to meet everyone, although she won't be able to make it now :(.

    I was wondering what (if any) etiquette there was on this kind of a gathering. Since it's technically a "bridal party event," are we supposed to foot the bill? Of course, coming is not "mandatory" - just a fun night out. Naturally, they're all close friends, and some of them have even gone out with us to this same restaurant before for birthdays, etc, and everyone paid their own way. Will they be expecting us to pay, because it's a "wedding event"? My fiance says no, but I wanted other opinions just in case.

    At the very least, I suggested to him that it might be appropriate or appreciated to get everyone's first round of drinks or something, just as a "thanks" for being there.

    Thoughts?
    I think this is obviously a wedding event and you and your Fi should pay.
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  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    The weekend of my bridal shower, my fiance and I made reservations at a local restaurant (fun, not upscale) for the entire bridal party and their significant others to get to know one another. Just a fun, casual night out. The original impetus was for my out-of-town bridesmaid to meet everyone, although she won't be able to make it now :(.

    I was wondering what (if any) etiquette there was on this kind of a gathering. Since it's technically a "bridal party event," are we supposed to foot the bill? Of course, coming is not "mandatory" - just a fun night out. Naturally, they're all close friends, and some of them have even gone out with us to this same restaurant before for birthdays, etc, and everyone paid their own way. Will they be expecting us to pay, because it's a "wedding event"? My fiance says no, but I wanted other opinions just in case.

    At the very least, I suggested to him that it might be appropriate or appreciated to get everyone's first round of drinks or something, just as a "thanks" for being there.

    Thoughts?
    I don't think you have to pay, depending how the invitation was worded. I wanted to do a bridesmaids dinner for us all to get together and talk wedding stuff, but I basically just said "who wants to get together for dinner?" and i know my friends don't expect me to pay for it. However, it is also my very close friends and every time we go out (unless it's a birthday), people pay their own anyway. If you said something like "We want to take everyone out for dinner" then I would assume you were paying.
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  • If it was me I would pay the bill. They are putting out money to be in the wedding its kinda like a little thank you.
  • What "bridal party event" is it? Does it actually fit into a normal event that everyone does (bridal shower, engagement shower, rehearsal dinner). If so, look up the etiquette for that event. 

    If its not a normal event, then it sounds like something you and your fiance planned. I would suggest paying for it yourself. If not, make it very clear to everyone that its not mandatory and the bill will be split, etc. I would also still offer to buy everyone drinks. 
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