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No "and Guest" for me...

KellyT22KellyT22 member
Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiancé just received a wedding invitation from a not-so-close friend of his. The invitation was addressed to my fiancé only, no "and guest". To me it seems rude, tacky, and disrespectful of us as a couple.  Am I wrong to be upset by this?
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Re: No "and Guest" for me...

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    KellyT22 said:
    My fiancé just received a wedding invitation from a not-so-close friend of his. The invitation was addressed to my fiancé only, no "and guest". To me it seems rude, tacky, and disrespectful of us as a couple.  Am I wrong to be upset by this?

    Yes, it is rude. Have your FI contact the friend and say, "Hey I just wanted to see if Kelly was also invited." If the groom says no, have FI decline and let them know the reason behind the decline.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No you are not wrong to be upset.  That is very rude of the couple.  If I were your FI I would promptly decline the invite based on the fact that you weren't invited.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    It's rude, but have him call and clarify. This happened to us once. Turns out the bride was just really clueless about this kind of thing.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    KellyT22 said:

    My fiancé just received a wedding invitation from a not-so-close friend of his. The invitation was addressed to my fiancé only, no "and guest". To me it seems rude, tacky, and disrespectful of us as a couple.  Am I wrong to be upset by this?

    I'd be annoyed, too. He isn't close to this person, I guess this person doesn't care enough.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Do the couple know about your relationship?  If your FI isn't that close to them, it just may have been an oversight, not deliberate rudeness.

    But if they do know, then yes, it was very, very rude, and I don't think you're wrong to be upset.
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  • KellyT22KellyT22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its

    Thanks for the feedback gals!  I will have the Mr. check with the groom.

    The couple definitely knows me - they have each asked me for job referrals to my employer in the last month!

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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    KellyT22 said:

    Thanks for the feedback gals!  I will have the Mr. check with the groom.

    The couple definitely knows me - they have each asked me for job referrals to my employer in the last month!

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Does your FI even want to go to the wedding?  If he does, he should contact the friend to ask if you're invited.  (It's not normally good manners to fish for an invite for someone else, but you should have been invited in the first place.)  But if he doesn't care whether or not he goes, he should just decline.  If the mere invitation is this rude, I can't imagine the nonsense that will happen at the rest of the wedding.
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    KellyT22 said:

    Thanks for the feedback gals!  I will have the Mr. check with the groom.

    The couple definitely knows me - they have each asked me for job referrals to my employer in the last month!

    So they consider you good enough to help them when they need something, but not good enough to accompany your fiancé to their wedding? You have every right to be offended. 

    Obviously it is up to you and your FI, but to be honest, I think he should just decline no matter what they say. You are a couple just as much as they are, and you should've been invited in the first place. It may have been an oversight on their part, but it is still very rude.

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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's still possible knowing you and not knowing how to properly address the envelope. Before you rule them out as extremely rude, find out first if they're just clueless.
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    banana468 said:
    It's still possible knowing you and not knowing how to properly address the envelope. Before you rule them out as extremely rude, find out first if they're just clueless.
    I would agree with this. Some people are clueless about envelops and invites. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Well of course your FI was invites, that should be obvious" or "that was assumed" when he wasn't explicitly invited to things and I didn't want to presume.  Some people are just clueless.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    banana468 said:
    It's still possible knowing you and not knowing how to properly address the envelope. Before you rule them out as extremely rude, find out first if they're just clueless.
    Exactly. Like I said above, that's exactly what happened to us before. The bride simply had no clue. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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