What to write in Thank You card for bounced check when givers account was hacked?

chica_zarca · June 2014

I've gotten all my Thank Yous done except for one I'm a bit stumped on...

One of my guests wrote us a check. A few days after we deposited it, we found out through the grapevine that her identity was stolen and her bank account was bled dry. My bank just notified us of the bounced check and charged us $12.

It's been a couple days and she hasn't personally contacted us about it (probably because she's still busy dealing with banks and identity fraud companies, I'm sure, which is totally understandable). It feels uncomfortable and tacky for me to bring up myself though (especially since I learned from a 3rd party here).

Should I just thank her for the gift anyway and just let it go? It's the thought that counts, right? Although it might sound awkward to her when she knows we didn't really get anything. (Although honestly, I'm sure they need the money more than we do, especially right now, so I'm really not worried about it). Or maybe the Thank You note would politely jog her memory to send something else if she wants to?

Or do you think I should just wait a little bit longer and not send any note just yet (it's only been 3 weeks). Maybe she'll contact us about it later and send a new check? (And if she does, then do I send a 2nd Thank You note?)

What's the preferred etiquette here?

chica_zarca · June 2014

*Been 3 weeks since the Wedding, I mean. We were away for the 8 days right afterwards, and then my bank wouldn't let me sign any of the checks until I received my marriage certificate anyway (which took 15 days).

I've only been aware of this for about 1 week.

climbingsingle · June 2014

Just send her a card thanking her for the gift and leave it at that.

lizzypoo96 · June 2014

I'd do the same. She's probably overwhelmed and at this point you probably be fine without the money from that guest

Jen4948 · June 2014

Just thank her, the same as you would had there been no hacked account or bounced check.

YourDogDontKnowSit · June 2014

Well, growing up I was always taught that you write a Thank You note before using any boxed gifts or before cashing any monetary gift, so I would write the Thank You and send it because if you went by that standard, you wouldn't have known the check bounced before thanking her anyway.

chica_zarca · June 2014

Thanks all! I did mail out a thank you note yesterday simply thanking her for the gift as suggested, then this morning she contacted my husband to apologize and offered to send us another check and include another $25 on top to cover the fee (he told her not to worry about it, but she insisted). At least the note will still make sense when she receives it (probably tomorrow).

Nymeru · June 2014

I'm glad it all worked out for you then.

emmaaa · June 2014

YourDogDontKnowSit said:

Well, growing up I was always taught that you write a Thank You note before using any boxed gifts or before cashing any monetary gift, so I would write the Thank You and send it because if you went by that standard, you wouldn't have known the check bounced before thanking her anyway.

I just want to clarify, that even though it is standard to not use gifts until after the wedding, a check should be cashed immediately so that the giver can balanace their account. Then the recipient would not use said money until after the wedding.

What to write in Thank You card for bounced check when givers account was hacked?

Re: What to write in Thank You card for bounced check when givers account was hacked?

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