Snarky Brides

it's been a while, back for a rant

Life happened and I've been dormant, but figured the ladies here would appreciate a train wreck story to start the week.

Friend is getting married in October and her bach is in Sept. Everyone invited to the bach is local and all activities are within 25 minutes.

First email came from MOH in January with a "need to know if you're coming" by March 1st. I repeat, the party is in August. The plan was to go to dinner, a club and stay in a ritzy hotel - "the hotel is optional". Dinner is at this 5 star, extremely expensive restaurant. Ok, fine, I can eat before and order a side salad or something. But wait, MOH says that she is a student and planning her own wedding so everyone else needs to split the bride's expenses because she "just can't".. Then the club. It's one of the most exclusive night clubs in the area and she wants to get a VIP booth for $110/person (if everyone attends - more if they don't). Then she wants to hire a private stripper for pre-club entertainment, so that's going to cost $30/person. And the limo is going to be $60/person. And everyone needs to wear carnation pink or black. If we have questions about what is carnation pink, let her know.

I don't think anyone responded definitively (my RSVP was, 'I'm not sure yet') because another email came "extending the deadline" to March 30th. A few of responses came in akin to "is this my super sweet bach?" "I don't really want to pay for a stripper" "that's a lot of money" Still, I'm guessing response was low because we got "another extension to April 30th". 

Then there was a follow up email in May. Plans had changed "because not enough of you b*ches responded or you're all just stingy lol". She scratched the club, but dinner, the limo, hotel and the stripper are still on. And since we're not doing the club with the VIP booth, we all need to buy matching tank tops that say 'bride's posse' "so that everyone knows we're out for her bach." Because how else would everyone know? Thankfully, we have an address where we can send checks made out to the MOH.

It's good that no one can see my face via email because it is:

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Re: it's been a while, back for a rant

  • First of all, welcome back! I missed you!

    Second, really? RIdiculous. I'm glad the other guests/BMs are pushing back, too.
  • It sounds like these plans are out of range for everyone invited, and that is too bad.  It sounds reasonable on the surface though- dinner and dancing at least, not the stripper!  Why can't the MOH downgrade to a more reasonable restaurant and normal bars?  Surely there are other transport options too that wouldn't be as expensive.  There's got to be a way to do this that most people will be happy with.   
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  • ZOMG, I have missed you so much!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Limos are overrated - the hip mini-van is where its at!

  • NymeruNymeru member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    At least you're not the odd-man out in this one and the rest of the BMs seem to find this whole thing unreasonably expensive too.  Have you guys talked to the bride about what the plans are/what she actually wants to do?  Maybe you need to tell the MoH that if she can't contribute, the group can't do it and see what she does then.
  • My bachelorette party was this past weekend, so I find this particularly ridiculous.

    For my party, we went out to dinner at a nice, but not super expensive restaurant.  My mom bought my dinner.  After dinner my mom, and one of my friends who is expecting and was too tired to stay out late, went home.

    Next we went to a jazz club for a couple of cocktails.  I bought my own, because they were expensive and everyone in attendance either traveled into town for the party or is a working single mom (didn't even let anyone offer, just put my money in when the check came). 

    We capped off the night by swinging by the store and picking up a couple bottles of wine, so that our designated driver could join us in some drinking at our reasonably priced (and totally optional to stay at) hotel, where we shared rooms and beds to cut down on costs.  (They covered the hotel, and I think it cost them each about $40). 

    No one was made to wear matching anything.  No "bridesmaid" or "bride's posse" shirts. They got me glasses and a necklace that said "bride to be" which I wore for a few pictures at dinner and then took off.

    I think the biggest expenditure for anyone was a cupcake arrangement designed to look like a diamond ring that one of my bridesmaids surprised me with after dinner.  And she works for a catering company, so she got it from them at cost.

    Everyone had a lovely time.  No one spent more than they could afford.  And I got to spend quality time with some of my best friends.  It was perfect.

    All the crap your friend's bridesmaid is planning is unnecessary.  And honestly, it seems to me that all that drama takes away from the ability to spend some time with the people you care about.  If I were you, I'd decline.  Or, if this person is really special to you, go to dinner and then skip the rest of the evening. 
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  • When the bach party costs more than the wedding...

    I'd be busy that day. Darn.
  • Yeah, I would politely decline.

    That is absurd.
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  • Yeah, that'd be a big fat NO. 
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    Also, I would like to follow up with:
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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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  • I would not be going to that.
  • Ugh, I seriously hate the whole matching outfits thing. My friend did that awhile back at her bachelorette. Why can't people just wear what they want???
  • Really happy to see you back! 
    And no. This stingy btch would not be going. The carnation pink would have done it, much less the investment.
  • Yay you came back!

    And ew no,
    In fact,
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  • I get dinner and dancing, but that's way too rich for my budget!

    Can you politely say, hey, I'd love to attend, here's my budget.

    They can still plan a lovely dinner and clubbing somewhere less expensive and still have a great time.The MOH is going to get burned if she's asking for RSVPs so early.  Things change in a few months, just have people hold the dates.

    southernbelle0915, I'm glad to see you're back.


  • edited June 2014
    @keptinstitches @addiecake @ohannabelle @PrettyGirlLost @Jen4948 @KatWAG @sophhabobopha @EverAfer

    @everyoneelseihavemissed there are lots of you and I've forgotten user names at this point

    what's the business here? :) I got SUPER busy at work and with life (lots of remodeling at our house - I'm pretty sure at this point I could have my own HGTV show), so there's the cliff notes of my absence. I don't anticipate being able to be here too much, but enough to throw some stuff out there every now and then and catch up with yall. When I left... the tree house was still going on and secret mods were pretty much off the table and people were volunteering for public moderation. 

    Is there any way people can describe the events/an event of the last 8 months in gifs? Pretty please. :)

    ETA: I already spelled someone's user name wrong when quoting... 
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  • Well, that blows. I just messaged KP to add you to the list of my recs for mods with the caveat that I didn't know if you'd be around. I jinxed us!!!!!

    I don't have the energy to find all those gifs!

    Treehouse is still a thing, and we recruited some new people there recently after there was a big blow up on the boards and the topic came up, and then people were asking about it. 

    Secret mods came and went (I was kind of MIA myself when the secret modding was going on b/c I had just started a new job), and they have been promising to bring back actual mods for awhile now, and finally last week KP made an announcement about it. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • This was kind of my face when people started talking about shit they don't know anything about during the blow up(s). 

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    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • @addiecake - Nice. It wouldn't be TK without a little blow up every 6 months or so. :) Thanks for contacting KP! I could definitely do it on a medium-low traffic board if I could figure out how to get notifications on my phone... *le sigh*

    How's the new job? You still off for the summer?
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  • New job is great; we just got out a week ago. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • southernbelle0915, you missed some crazy stuff.. someone gave too much personal info about another bride and some Knottties found her website and etc.. that went way overboard.  The thread was deleted.
  • Yeah I would not be happy with my MOH if she started planning something that was too expensive for my other bridesmaids to enjoy. I would dfinitely not be up for it if that was the plan for my friends wedding as well. That is kind of rude of her. If she wants to plan this big party to the point where no one else can afford it then she needs to pay for it. Other than that I would so say no. Atleast you are not alone!
  • But wait, MOH says that she is a student and planning her own wedding so everyone else needs to split the bride's expenses because she "just can't"..  

    This...  I can't even... she plans a bachelorette party even she can't fully afford and expects others to pitch in more for.  




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  • @keptinstitches @addiecake @ohannabelle @PrettyGirlLost @Jen4948 @KatWAG @sophhabobopha @EverAfer


    @everyoneelseihavemissed there are lots of you and I've forgotten user names at this point

    what's the business here? :) I got SUPER busy at work and with life (lots of remodeling at our house - I'm pretty sure at this point I could have my own HGTV show), so there's the cliff notes of my absence. I don't anticipate being able to be here too much, but enough to throw some stuff out there every now and then and catch up with yall. When I left... the tree house was still going on and secret mods were pretty much off the table and people were volunteering for public moderation. 

    Is there any way people can describe the events/an event of the last 8 months in gifs? Pretty please. :)

    ETA: I already spelled someone's user name wrong when quoting... 
    WB Southernbelle!! Pele here, I created a new acct since I'm using my main acct on TheBump and the siggy is about fertility stuff.

    You missed quite a bit. There are two Treehouses, the first is a private FB group thst was created for a two day protest of the boards, and then a Proboards one was made later when the great migration of regs happened to protest Linger and Stage getting banned.

    Secret mods were a hilarious flop. One of the ladies invited publically posted her invite, and called it dumb as hell. That sunk the battleship pretty quickly.

    I was gone after that, but I think it's been pretty quiet here since then.

    We missed you! Man it's good to see so many old regs coming back.




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  • monkeysip said:

    But wait, MOH says that she is a student and planning her own wedding so everyone else needs to split the bride's expenses because she "just can't"..  

    This...  I can't even... she plans a bachelorette party even she can't fully afford and expects others to pitch in more for.  



    I mean, every bachelorette party I've been to we've all split the cost of the brides dinner, and usually other activities. That doesn't bother me. But they've also never been this prohibitively expensive, and the MOH has never phrased it like we have to do it because she can't afford to.
    Anniversary
  • ashleyep said:
    monkeysip said:

    But wait, MOH says that she is a student and planning her own wedding so everyone else needs to split the bride's expenses because she "just can't"..  

    This...  I can't even... she plans a bachelorette party even she can't fully afford and expects others to pitch in more for.  



    I mean, every bachelorette party I've been to we've all split the cost of the brides dinner, and usually other activities. That doesn't bother me. But they've also never been this prohibitively expensive, and the MOH has never phrased it like we have to do it because she can't afford to.
    when I read it, I took it that she wasn't going to pitch in for the bride's expenses.... everyone else would have to do it.  Maybe I misread.  Either way, what a mess.

    SaveSave
  • monkeysip said:
    ashleyep said:
    monkeysip said:

    But wait, MOH says that she is a student and planning her own wedding so everyone else needs to split the bride's expenses because she "just can't"..  

    This...  I can't even... she plans a bachelorette party even she can't fully afford and expects others to pitch in more for.  



    I mean, every bachelorette party I've been to we've all split the cost of the brides dinner, and usually other activities. That doesn't bother me. But they've also never been this prohibitively expensive, and the MOH has never phrased it like we have to do it because she can't afford to.
    when I read it, I took it that she wasn't going to pitch in for the bride's expenses.... everyone else would have to do it.  Maybe I misread.  Either way, what a mess.
    Oh jeez. That's awful.
    Anniversary
  • Thank God they didn't do bachelorette parties when I was a bride back in the stone age.  Wecome back!
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  • monkeysip said:
    ashleyep said:
    monkeysip said:

    But wait, MOH says that she is a student and planning her own wedding so everyone else needs to split the bride's expenses because she "just can't"..  

    This...  I can't even... she plans a bachelorette party even she can't fully afford and expects others to pitch in more for.  



    I mean, every bachelorette party I've been to we've all split the cost of the brides dinner, and usually other activities. That doesn't bother me. But they've also never been this prohibitively expensive, and the MOH has never phrased it like we have to do it because she can't afford to.
    when I read it, I took it that she wasn't going to pitch in for the bride's expenses.... everyone else would have to do it.  Maybe I misread.  Either way, what a mess.
    Yes - this is the case. She is planning activities but doesn't want to pay for any of the bride's costs - she wants everyone else to do it!
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