Snarky brides = honest thoughts? I hope so.

hellosweetie1015 · June 2014

So here's the sitch, yo.

I'm a writer, and something that I'm doing (actively, as in I work on at least one entry every day) is writing a private blog to my FI for him to read the night before the wedding. It's not, like, a big deal - it's just little things I want him to know, like how fucking excited I am to wake up the day after our wedding and be Mrs. FI. However, one part of me keeps asking why the hell I'm not handwriting this shit since it's obviously something I think is SOOOOOOOO special, and another part of me keeps going, "Hey, you suck, why are you even doing this in the first place?" and ANOTHER part of me is afraid he'll laugh at me and completely not even read any of it.

Now, some of that is related to my own self-esteem, and I'm well aware of that, and actively working on it. My question is - has anyone else tried to do something along these lines? Is it stupid that I'm not handwriting it? (the plan is to have someone [sister, FMIL, someone] give him a handwritten letter the night before, with a slip inside the envelope for the blog address.) Is it just a stupid idea in general, especially over a year out?

NYCMercedes · June 2014

Sweet, very sweet.

hellosweetie1015 · June 2014

flantastic said:

I think it's super sweet that you want to chronicle your excitement leading up to the wedding. I think since it's so extensive, it's totally fine that you're not handwriting it.

However, I wouldn't count on it being something he'll have the time or inclination to read on the night before the wedding - he may just need his sleep or a chat with the guys. I think that it will be something he'll love looking back upon and reading at some point, but I just wouldn't give him a large surprise reading assignment on the night before a huge day.

That... is something I had yet to think of. Surprise! No thought process beyond OOO GOOD PLAN. This is why I should not be allowed to plan anything bigger than a sandwich.

JCbride2015 · June 2014

flantastic said:

Definitely do it, just save it for the honeymoon for you to go over together or something like that. If FI were considering doing this, I would DEFINITELY want to read it.

Saving it for the HM is a really good idea. Maybe give it to him the morning after the wedding?

I think this is very sweet. And since it's long, typing it out makes sense.

chibiyui · June 2014

It sounds very sweet

Ven&Radio · June 2014

I think K this is a very sweet idea. Am I understanding correctly that you plan to write something every day for over a year? That seems like a lot to me personally. I think I'd start this project about a month before the wedding.

climbingsingle · June 2014

I think it's a very sweet idea. I also like the idea of giving it to him the day after the wedding or on the HM.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

I'm doing something similar (writing little notes to him in a small notebook throughout our engagement...averaging about 1 or 2 a month) so I'm biased and think it's sweet. We're not really verbal mushy romantic types so I think it will be a nice little surprise. I agree that waiting until after the wedding or during the honeymoon is a good idea though. I hadn't thought about that!

AddieCake · June 2014

I like it, but I agree you shouldn't have him trying to read it the night before the wedding.

Marzipan13 · June 2014

CaitTDid23 said:

So here's the sitch, yo.

I'm a writer, and something that I'm doing (actively, as in I work on at least one entry every day) is writing a private blog to my FI for him to read the night before the wedding. It's not, like, a big deal - it's just little things I want him to know, like how fucking excited I am to wake up the day after our wedding and be Mrs. FI. However, one part of me keeps asking why the hell I'm not handwriting this shit since it's obviously something I think is SOOOOOOOO special, and another part of me keeps going, "Hey, you suck, why are you even doing this in the first place?" and ANOTHER part of me is afraid he'll laugh at me and completely not even read any of it.

Now, some of that is related to my own self-esteem, and I'm well aware of that, and actively working on it. My question is - has anyone else tried to do something along these lines? Is it stupid that I'm not handwriting it? (the plan is to have someone [sister, FMIL, someone] give him a handwritten letter the night before, with a slip inside the envelope for the blog address.) Is it just a stupid idea in general, especially over a year out?

This. All of this. I know exactly how you feel because I'm doing the same thing! I've been keeping a journal, writing entries every day (or every other day) of notes for him. Literally every single day I think, "Why the fuck am I even doing this?" But for some reason, I'm still doing it - I keep going. FI and I aren't doing the traditional wedding gifts for each other, but I still wanted to give him something of meaning. I'm handwriting mine, but only because I love handwriting things (especially love notes to FI) - I think typing yours is fine, if that's how you'd prefer to do it!

ElcaB · June 2014

I think it's such a nice, sweet idea. I especially love the idea of putting it on a blog because he can access it anytime he want to.

hellosweetie1015 · June 2014

Thanks, all, for the suggestions and the reassurance. @Ven&Radio, no, that would be insane and quite a lot to write, and since I work full time and am also working on edits/rewrites on a novel, I don't have that kind of time. I'm averaging about one post a week right now. In August, I expect that will drop back to about one every two weeks at best, because he'll be moving in with me. (Yay!) Which - yeah, that's still a lot.

hellosweetie1015 · June 2014

Marzipan13 said:

CaitTDid23 said:

So here's the sitch, yo.

I'm a writer, and something that I'm doing (actively, as in I work on at least one entry every day) is writing a private blog to my FI for him to read the night before the wedding. It's not, like, a big deal - it's just little things I want him to know, like how fucking excited I am to wake up the day after our wedding and be Mrs. FI. However, one part of me keeps asking why the hell I'm not handwriting this shit since it's obviously something I think is SOOOOOOOO special, and another part of me keeps going, "Hey, you suck, why are you even doing this in the first place?" and ANOTHER part of me is afraid he'll laugh at me and completely not even read any of it.

Now, some of that is related to my own self-esteem, and I'm well aware of that, and actively working on it. My question is - has anyone else tried to do something along these lines? Is it stupid that I'm not handwriting it? (the plan is to have someone [sister, FMIL, someone] give him a handwritten letter the night before, with a slip inside the envelope for the blog address.) Is it just a stupid idea in general, especially over a year out?

This. All of this. I know exactly how you feel because I'm doing the same thing! I've been keeping a journal, writing entries every day (or every other day) of notes for him. Literally every single day I think, "Why the fuck am I even doing this?" But for some reason, I'm still doing it - I keep going. FI and I aren't doing the traditional wedding gifts for each other, but I still wanted to give him something of meaning. I'm handwriting mine, but only because I love handwriting things (especially love notes to FI) - I think typing yours is fine, if that's how you'd prefer to do it!

YAY! I love handwriting things too, but my handwriting is so bad. My brain works too fast for my hands/fingers, so I end up screwing up a lot and then I have to start ALLLL OVERRR AGAINNNN and it drives me crazy. Typing means I can just backspace the mistakes and it's like they never happened.

I will be handwriting something for him though. I can't not, haha.

I'm glad I'm not the only one! Keep it up, from what everyone else is saying he's going to love it. (Thanks, all!)

Also: definitely good points for giving it to him on the HM rather than the night before the wedding. I will have to hide while he reads it, but he could read it at his leisure that way instead of having all this crap to read the night before he gets stuck with me forever. He might run away, hahaha...

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · June 2014

I did this.

I gave it to my FI on our first anniversary. He still has it. I didn't write it from day one, but I wrote out stuff on dates of significance and I hand wrote it in a book. It was friggin' scary to give it to him, but he read it and said he thought it was very touching. I don't express myself well verbally, and I wanted him to know somehow, so I just jotted everything down.

I read it about a year ago (FI and I have been together almost 9 years) and was glad I wrote stuff down, because there were a few little moments that I wrote about that jogged my memory.

Go for it. I think it will be fun! Reading it years later is a total trip.

hellosweetie1015 · June 2014

@goldchocobo we don't even know our dating anniversary, haha. We're odd birds.

But I love that! I started it a month exactly after he proposed, because that's the first significant date we have.

I can't wait to give it to him. And then run and hide forever..... I have been writing a super-long post that has, so far, had one thing I love about him added to it each day, and I may actually restart that idea on our year-out date (which is in October y'all for real I've lost it) and do it handwritten in a nice bound journal.

ashley8918 · June 2014

I think it's adorable! And I agree with PPs that it might be better to save it for the HM.

melissamusic · June 2014

I think it's very sweet! You might already be doing this, but when he does one of those things that makes you think "That's why I want to marry this guy!", write it down! Not just the feeling, but the thing he did that made you feel that way. It'll make him feel more appreciated ("I love you because you brought me soup when I was sick" is much more meaningful than "I love you because I just do"), PLUS you can look back on it farther down the line if you're in a fight or something. It'll help you remember all the things you love about him.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

Agree with PPs. I personally like the idea of having it written into a journal so he has something tangible, but there's nothing wrong with it being online. And I commend your dedication to it! I had considered doing something like that, and even got some "once a day" kind of app on my phone to log little thoughts to him in... and didn't do it once. Laziness, yo.

melissamusic said:

I think it's very sweet! You might already be doing this, but when he does one of those things that makes you think "That's why I want to marry this guy!", write it down! Not just the feeling, but the thing he did that made you feel that way. It'll make him feel more appreciated ("I love you because you brought me soup when I was sick" is much more meaningful than "I love you because I just do"), PLUS you can look back on it farther down the line if you're in a fight or something. It'll help you remember all the things you love about him.

I made FI one of those cheeseball Pinterest crafts, with the deck of cards listing "52 things I love about you" with exactly these things on it and gave it to him for his birthday. He totally cried (win!). He keeps it next to our bed, and I love that he always has that little reminder so if he needs reassurance at any time he can just flip to a random page. This is it:

hellosweetie1015 · June 2014

I am doing an entry that will probably go on and on and on and on and on, because every day since June 17th I've recorded one thing I love about him that something over the course of the day has reminded me of. Today's is how chill he is - he's a very calming presence over me, and I need that desperately. I've considered rewriting the things I've already listed, handwriting them and the new ones. I just will have to wait until I have an extra $30 to blow on a truly nice journal, which will not be soon.

@lolo883 THAT. IS. PRECIOUS. I love it.

Kauris · June 2014

@lolo883, I did that for FI last Valentines day! Great minds...

@CaitTDid23, it is such a super sweet idea, I'm sure you will both enjoy it years down the road!

BlackLace2015 · June 2014

I kind of wish I had thought of this. Instead I just text my fi randomly when I have sappy thoughts. He seems to like it and is very well-spoken and sweet himself so it works for us, but obviously we aren't saving the texts or anything, so I wish I had thought to do what you are doing!

mrscomposer · June 2014

I've been writing messages to J in a nice journal since we first got together - I'm planning on giving it to him, along with boudoir pictures and his gift, the morning of the wedding. I love doing it, and I'm glad other people are doing it, also

MegEn1 · June 2014

I think it's wonderful. And don't worry about not writing them by hand. When my FI was deployed, I did a bunch of photo shoots to make me look like I was in the 1910s, 1940s, 1950s and 1970s and sent them with a hand-written letter as though he were deployed in the different time periods (WWI, WWII, Korea, and Vietnam). I did this because he's a huge history nerd. And to this day I still love the idea!

But when he came home he confessed to me that he couldn't read most of my letters because I have a child's handwriting. So at least your FI will be able to understand your sentiments!

hellosweetie1015 · June 2014

Thanks, y'all! I really am glad I'm not the only crazysauce doing something cheesy like it. I did decide to move the "today I love you because..." list to a nice, inexpensive journal I found, but there are plenty of times where a few lines in a journal aren't going to be enough, so the blog thing will be maintained.

I also have absolutely no ability to keep a secret so I told FI I was making him a present. I didn't tell him what it was, but he asked me what I was using and I told him "a pen, paper, and cheese." (I really cannot keep a secret. I painted him something and got spray paint all over me consistently and would sit there and giggle and bite my tongue when he asked me why I had paint all over me.

mrsmorales2be · July 2014

I love this idea. I'm stealing it, just so you know! lol

DanniDear · July 2014

I started a journal for my fiancé the day he asked me to marry him! He proposed while we were on vacation, and I knew it would be happening at some point on the trip, so I brought it with me.

My original intentions were to write in it every day, but that's just a ridiculously lofty goal because romantic, sweet things, in fact, do not happen every day in real life. One entry is entirely about the Walking Dead finale, which was a pretty big clue not to just write to be writing.

Because of this, I'm going to have a ton of extra pages, so now I'm thinking I'm going to forgo giving it to him the night before/day of the wedding, and give it to him on our first anniversary as my "paper" gift!

hellosweetie1015 · July 2014

Thanks, all! I'm encouraged by the fact that other people are doing something like this. When I first started it, I nickered about with myself over whether it was even a good idea, or whether it was just stupid, and it's really made me feel awesome that I'm not the only one doing it!

@mrsmoralestobe: Have at, and have fun with it! I highly recommend Wordpress, although I liked it better when you had more steady functionality.

@DanniDear, I WISH I had planned ahead like that! We were on vacation when he proposed too, but I really did not expect it. We were already talking about getting married, so I figured I'd already gotten my proposal. I was completely surprised, and just about EVERYONE I know made fun of me for not expecting it.

So far, I've managed to have an entry for every day since June 17th in my List of Things I Love About You journal (which I ported over from the blog because that one I actually thought SHOULD be on paper), but they aren't romantic things. It's, like, "I love how you can find a way to make me smile" or "I love how fascinated you are by YouTube's creator community" or "I love it when you do silly things like name your chocobo Artichocobo." So they're easy to find, and I figure one day I'll be soooooo damn pissed off that I'll need that list to remind me of why I love him, hahaha, so it's really going to help both of us.

Snarky brides = honest thoughts? I hope so.

Re: Snarky brides = honest thoughts? I hope so.

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