Wedding Party

Creative ways to ask friends to be bridesmaids?

So I have 3 sisters, they will obviously be in my wedding! But I have a few close friends I would also like to ask. I want a cute & creative way to ask them to be my bridesmaids. I am crafty so I can do DIY stuff. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas, please feel free to share! :)

Re: Creative ways to ask friends to be bridesmaids?

  • My best suggestion is to take them out for coffee if they're local. Creative ideas can put pressure on people to say yes when they might not be able to (conflict with the date, financial difficulties, etc.).
  • NymeruNymeru member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I went a little overboard asking my bridesmaids.  I guess I was lucky, knowing ahead of time that they could and would do the job, so I didn't have to worry about them feeling pressured to accept when they couldn't afford the time/expense.  It is true that you should be careful about building it up too much if you're not sure they can do it.

    I love to cook, and they love to eat (lucky combo!), so I invited them to a picnic, cooked a lunch with desserts, laid the food out on a blanket saying "Will you be my bridesmaids?" and then had them meet me there.  It was definitely a lot of fun!
  • I would suggest a sweet, handwritten card or something really simple like a homemade cupcake. Like pp said, there is a chance with grand gestures they could feel pressured to say yes. And if they DO say no, it can be awkward.

    I've been in two bridal parties and both brides just... asked me. Well, one sorta told me lol. Both times it was spontaneous, unrehearsed and sweet. I still remember both moments. Grand gestures weren't needed.

    Save the crafty stuff for when they accept. Or ooooh for their bridesmaids gifts!
    image
  • Thanks Ladies! One that I will be asking is my college roommate, we live a few hours apart so I was thinking of doing a cute care package. (I know she will say yes because we have been talking about being in each others weddings since we were freshman year of college, so she is kind of expecting it)
  • I sent them cutesy handwritten cards, but really... Just ask. Over the top productions put immense pressure on people and tend to make the feel like they HAVE to say yes.
  • Don't try to be "creative."  Be friendly and direct, and ask each one separately.  Save the "creativity" for after they say yes (but don't force anyone into DIY!)
  • I bought a 6 bottles of champagne (and got a discount!) and tied a pretty little card around each (from stationary that I already had). 5 of my girls said yes, one is still considering because of a prior commitment. 

    I wrote the following sayings (sourced from Pinterest) inside the cards (giving Pinterest full credit when asked!) 

    "As I prepare for the day that I will be a bride, it would mean the world to have you sipping by my side. I promise: no ugly dress if you say "yes"... Please be one of my bridesmaids?" 

    Simple but I wanted to do something to show them I appreciate their support.

  • I bought a 6 bottles of champagne (and got a discount!) and tied a pretty little card around each (from stationary that I already had). 5 of my girls said yes, one is still considering because of a prior commitment. 

    I wrote the following sayings (sourced from Pinterest) inside the cards (giving Pinterest full credit when asked!) 

    "As I prepare for the day that I will be a bride, it would mean the world to have you sipping by my side. I promise: no ugly dress if you say "yes"... Please be one of my bridesmaids?" 

    Simple but I wanted to do something to show them I appreciate their support.


    If I were one of the people you asked, I would have felt pressured into saying yes, or at least, if I had to say no, I would have felt very uncomfortable doing so after all this.  That's why many of us don't advise it-think about how you would feel to have to turn down the bride after all this.
  • @Jen The original poster obviously has her heart set on doing a little something to ask her ladies, so there is nothing wrong with her making the moment a little more special. She's obviously a very thoughtful girl.

    If the OP knows her girls well enough to anticipate that they will accept the position gift or no gift, then by all means, she should show them her gratitude and happiness :) Besides, if I had to turn anyone down, I would feel terrible, regardless if there was a present involved.

    A bottle of moderately-priced champagne and a hand-written note is hardly a lot of effort and I know that it did mean a lot to my girls (some of them even got teary-eyed and my amazing MOH has framed her card haha).
  • @Jen The original poster obviously has her heart set on doing a little something to ask her ladies, so there is nothing wrong with her making the moment a little more special. She's obviously a very thoughtful girl.

    If the OP knows her girls well enough to anticipate that they will accept the position gift or no gift, then by all means, she should show them her gratitude and happiness :) Besides, if I had to turn anyone down, I would feel terrible, regardless if there was a present involved.

    A bottle of moderately-priced champagne and a hand-written note is hardly a lot of effort and I know that it did mean a lot to my girls (some of them even got teary-eyed and my amazing MOH has framed her card haha).

    I think giving a gift or asking in the presence of others puts more pressure on would-be wedding party members to say yes.  If she has her heart so set on it that she would ignore that and any discomfort she creates for her would-be bridesmaids when she asks them, especially if they have to say no, then she didn't need advice. 

    Sometimes even the most well-meant gesture can backfire or cause pain for the intended recipient when it's too over-the-top.
  • I'm right with you, girl. If you know they're going to say yes, you can try what I've seen on Pinterest and what I'm planning on doing..... Mailing a helium balloon in a box to them with a note tied to it that says "I couldn't say 'I Do' without you." Oh, and it'll be filled with confetti.

    Craft on!
  • Thank you! I appricate everyones input! :) Nice to see all perspectives. @bostonista‌ I have seen similar things like that on pinterest just not sure I wanna spend that much and the few girls I wanna do it for arent big drinkers. But again thanks for the idea! @louien2013‌ I have seen the balloon idea on pinterest and given it a little thought tho id have to agree with @flantastic‌ I would be a little annoyed too if I have to clean up confetti def a pain. Lol. So maybe without the confetti.
  • i made a wanted (like in the old days... wanted for $1,000,000 reward.! ) postcard for my girls,,, simple and easy
  • I meant the box is filled with confetti, not the balloon.
  • @megalega14 - That is a cute idea, I like that!!


    @louien2013 - that makes more sense. Also a cute idea! :)

  • I meant the box is filled with confetti, not the balloon.
    I would not want to open a box full of confetti, regardless of the reason it's being given to me.

    And if someone used one to ask me to be a bridesmaid, it would really make me feel pressured and uncomfortable-especially if I had to say no.  Is that really the way you want someone you are asking a huge favor from to feel-pressured and uncomfortable?  Even if they squeal about how "cute" it is and immediately say yes, they might still feel that way.  Leave them with their dignity!
  • I think the nicest thing you could do is to write a note and just ask. Other things just seem too over the top and put pressure on that person. 
    Nymeru said:
    I went a little overboard asking my bridesmaids.  I guess I was lucky, knowing ahead of time that they could and would do the job, so I didn't have to worry about them feeling pressured to accept when they couldn't afford the time/expense.  It is true that you should be careful about building it up too much if you're not sure they can do it.

    I love to cook, and they love to eat (lucky combo!), so I invited them to a picnic, cooked a lunch with desserts, laid the food out on a blanket saying "Will you be my bridesmaids?" and then had them meet me there.  It was definitely a lot of fun!
    @Nymeru What job does a bridesmaid have other than to show up and wear the dress you pick out.

  • NymeruNymeru member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Absolutely nothing.  I don't expect them to do a thing except have fun with me when the day comes.  My MoH would argue with me over that (she expected us to be her personal servants a good chunk of the time when she was getting married), but she's chomping at the bit to organize things for me.
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