Why do people act like this??

ladybird29 · June 2014

So I mailed out my invites about two weeks ago...I sent them a few weeks early because it's an out of state wedding and 99% of our guests will have to travel. The RSVP deadline is August 1. That means people still have about 5 weeks to decide if they can/want to attend. At my shower last weekend, a 'friend' came up to me and asked if I received her RSVP. I hadn't yet. She said, "I checked decline, but can we change that to a tentative decline? I mean, I just don't know if I'll be able to use my miles to get a free flight or not." Totally fine that she might not be able to make it - I'm not taking it personally if people can't attend as it's expensive to travel and people have all kinds of things going on in their lives. My problem is that she's not the only person to RSVP and then tell me they still might be able to make it. I don't understand this...why RSVP way in advance of the deadline if you're not sure? We had people do this for one of my showers too. One of my Mom's friends seriously changed her mind 10 times about whether or not she could make it (she didn't)...emailing an update every few days to my Mom to let her know what she was thinking that day about going. I just don't understand people, I really don't.

gothic_fairy60 · June 2014

The art of RSVP seems lost on general society. I had to explain to my brother what the RSVP card was even for.

slothiegal · June 2014

manateehugger · June 2014

Sometimes I think everyone should have to plan a major event before they're allowed to attend one.

Bubblegum5586 · June 2014

I liked how the majority of our groomsmen never mailed theirs (and even some of H's friends) "because of course they would be there!"

mcgarci2 · June 2014

bubblegum1309 said:

I liked how the majority of our groomsmen never mailed theirs (and even some of H's friends) "because of course they would be there!"

Ugh! Yes this killed me! I wasted postage on them. We received 50% back - some filled out some partially filled out, one NOT filled out AT ALL. Then maybe 15% lost it. And the rest RSVP'd by text. The stamps weren't a clue that you needed to mail it, I know.

beethery · June 2014

bubblegum1309 said:

I liked how the majority of our groomsmen never mailed theirs (and even some of H's friends) "because of course they would be there!"

FI did not feel it was necessary to mail an RSVP in for his brother's wedding, stating that he, FSIL, and parents all knew he would attend because he was the best man. Duh. I mailed it in on our behalf. Especially in case FSIL's dumbass family was taking care of RSVPs, I didn't want word-of-mouth to confuse them.

What did strike me as odd was that we were at FILs house when they were doing invites, and though FI repeatedly asked his dad for our invitation so he didn't have to waste a stamp, he would not hand it over.

Nymeru · June 2014

Yeah, after waiting past the deadline for my RSVPs, I had to hunt people down on facebook because I knew it was the only form of communication that they were likely to to get back to me on. I actually had one of my uncles facebook me and say, "I'm really not comfortable with RSVPing on facebook and I feel a little offended to be contacted this way over something that is so important," despite the fact that 1) the wedding was less than 4 weeks away and he hadn't RSVPd by mail 2) he didn't reply to the phone messages I left him and 3) the guy is ALWAYS on facebook and exclusively talks to me through facebook chats.

I had better luck with the GM and my brothers, but got responses like, "Nice invitation Martha Stewart" (with no response about actually coming) or a great big check mark through the entire RSVP card. One filled his card out to say that "The Playa" was bringing "a chick, preferably in something scandalous". One of my brothers illustrated his to let me know that Beavis was bringing Butthead to my wedding. At least I got something back from them, I guess.

ETA: I can't spell today.

iloveotters2014 · June 2014

My own sister sent in her RSVP writing in Yes for her and Maybe for her boyfriend.....she sent it like a month before the rsvp deadline. I was like ummmm what am I supposed to do with this?

After I asked her about it she was like "oh well I figured if he couldnt make it we could just push his chair away." Yes...because that's how it works lol.

People! I swear!

sophhabobopha · June 2014

EllieAugust · June 2014

bubblegum1309 said:

I liked how the majority of our groomsmen never mailed theirs (and even some of H's friends) "because of course they would be there!"

My extended family, who I love dearly, is notorious for NOT sending back RSVP. "You know I am coming" the excuse. I let it spread by word of mouth that if I did not receive the actuall paper RSVP back I would put people down for the vegetarian option...it is still two weeks from my deadline. My entire family has already RSVPed!!!

beethery · June 2014

EllieAugust said:

bubblegum1309 said:

I liked how the majority of our groomsmen never mailed theirs (and even some of H's friends) "because of course they would be there!"

My extended family, who I love dearly, is notorious for NOT sending back RSVP. "You know I am coming" the excuse. I let it spread by word of mouth that if I did not receive the actuall paper RSVP back I would put people down for the vegetarian option...it is still two weeks from my deadline. My entire family has already RSVPed!!!

You are a fucking genius

Chipmunk415 · June 2014

Ugh. I had to track down a few and call them at the deadline.

One couple (DH's cousin and her husband) said yes, and then sent the RSVP. OK, fine. Then two weeks before the wedding (thank goodness my venue had a 72 hr deadline for catering, not 2 weeks), they called saying they'd forgotten to put their son on the RSVP. (Note: he was not listed on the invite, ie, not invited).

We had enough room, and I was at the "F this" point, so we okayed the extra seat. Of course he needed the most expensive meal option.

Day of: the son doesn't show with his parents. Apparently, he'd had a sports camp that they'd planned 6 months in advance and simply didn't realize till a week later. They told my in laws the Monday before we got married. In Laws assumed that like normal people, the cousins would let the Bride and Groom know. Cousins, being half brained nit wits (trust me, there are other examples), expected the In Laws to tell us.

Whatever.

I like the "give everyone vegetarian" option!

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

OMG the vegetarian meal thing is absolutely brilliant. (Not that my veg option isn't delicious.)

slothiegal · June 2014

EllieAugust said:

bubblegum1309 said:

I liked how the majority of our groomsmen never mailed theirs (and even some of H's friends) "because of course they would be there!"

My extended family, who I love dearly, is notorious for NOT sending back RSVP. "You know I am coming" the excuse. I let it spread by word of mouth that if I did not receive the actuall paper RSVP back I would put people down for the vegetarian option...it is still two weeks from my deadline. My entire family has already RSVPed!!!

It's so simple....so brilliant.

You, ma'am, are a gamechanger.

RebeccaFlower · June 2014

Nymeru said:

Yeah, after waiting past the deadline for my RSVPs, I had to hunt people down on facebook because I knew it was the only form of communication that they were likely to to get back to me on. I actually had one of my uncles facebook me and say, "I'm really not comfortable with RSVPing on facebook and I feel a little offended to be contacted this way over something that is so important," despite the fact that 1) the wedding was less than 4 weeks away and he hadn't RSVPd by mail 2) he didn't reply to the phone messages I left him and 3) the guy is ALWAYS on facebook and exclusively talks to me through facebook chats.

I had better luck with the GM and my brothers, but got responses like, "Nice invitation Martha Stewart" (with no response about actually coming) or a great big check mark through the entire RSVP card. One filled his card out to say that "The Playa" was bringing "a chick, preferably in something scandalous". One of my brothers illustrated his to let me know that Beavis was bringing Butthead to my wedding. At least I got something back from them, I guess.

ETA: I can't spell today.

What a douche! It sounds like your deadline might have been a bit early, but come on, don't get all pissed when someone tries to double check.

thisismynickname2 · June 2014

slothiegal said:

EllieAugust said:

bubblegum1309 said:

I liked how the majority of our groomsmen never mailed theirs (and even some of H's friends) "because of course they would be there!"

My extended family, who I love dearly, is notorious for NOT sending back RSVP. "You know I am coming" the excuse. I let it spread by word of mouth that if I did not receive the actuall paper RSVP back I would put people down for the vegetarian option...it is still two weeks from my deadline. My entire family has already RSVPed!!!

It's so simple....so brilliant.

You, ma'am, are a gamechanger.

In all honesty, really. Think I could put something on our wedding website? We're having upscale restaurant food so I was already planning to put the full menu so people could make educated choices.

Perhaps something like, "Please remember to check your selection and return the RSVP card, otherwise we'll default to the chicken."

Honestly! Any suggestions? I plan to track people down anyway, since mail can easily get lost, but I can't believe you guys have gotten wacky cards back.

APDSS22 · June 2014

thisismynickname said:

slothiegal said:

EllieAugust said:

bubblegum1309 said:

I liked how the majority of our groomsmen never mailed theirs (and even some of H's friends) "because of course they would be there!"

My extended family, who I love dearly, is notorious for NOT sending back RSVP. "You know I am coming" the excuse. I let it spread by word of mouth that if I did not receive the actuall paper RSVP back I would put people down for the vegetarian option...it is still two weeks from my deadline. My entire family has already RSVPed!!!

It's so simple....so brilliant.

You, ma'am, are a gamechanger.

In all honesty, really. Think I could put something on our wedding website? We're having upscale restaurant food so I was already planning to put the full menu so people could make educated choices.
Perhaps something like, "Please remember to check your selection and return the RSVP card, otherwise we'll default to the chicken."
Honestly! Any suggestions? I plan to track people down anyway, since mail can easily get lost, but I can't believe you guys have gotten wacky cards back.

Do you have any gossipy busybody relatives so you could spread it via word of mouth? I don't think it would be bad to put it on the website if you're listing out the food options but I think it would sound more realistic coming from someone saying "Did you hear thisismynickname and FI are defaulting anyone who doesn't RSVP to chicken?!?!"

monkeysip · June 2014

I love it when people don't put their name on the "Decline" RSVPs... and no return address. I understand that you're not coming, but I still need to know who YOU are.

Of course, I remember reading here on the knot about numbering your RSVPs somehow so that you could know whose RSVP it was if it came back to you without a name. I thought, what a GREAT idea!

And then totally forgot to do it. Fail.

sophhabobopha · June 2014

Nymeru said:

Yeah, after waiting past the deadline for my RSVPs, I had to hunt people down on facebook because I knew it was the only form of communication that they were likely to to get back to me on. I actually had one of my uncles facebook me and say, "I'm really not comfortable with RSVPing on facebook and I feel a little offended to be contacted this way over something that is so important," despite the fact that 1) the wedding was less than 4 weeks away and he hadn't RSVPd by mail 2) he didn't reply to the phone messages I left him and 3) the guy is ALWAYS on facebook and exclusively talks to me through facebook chats.

I had better luck with the GM and my brothers, but got responses like, "Nice invitation Martha Stewart" (with no response about actually coming) or a great big check mark through the entire RSVP card. One filled his card out to say that "The Playa" was bringing "a chick, preferably in something scandalous". One of my brothers illustrated his to let me know that Beavis was bringing Butthead to my wedding. At least I got something back from them, I guess.

ETA: I can't spell today.

I'm sorry but that's fucking hilarious.

Nymeru · June 2014

Yeah, I laughed pretty hard when I got it. I really didn't expect anything better. I have it on the wall in front of my computer so when I'm stressing out about wedding details, I just look at it, hear Butthead's laugh in my head, and feel better.

Nymeru · June 2014

@RebeccaFlower

My RSVPs were due back one month before my wedding date. Is that really too soon to expect them? I figured that would give me a week or so to then check up on the non-responders so that I could let my venue people have the final count 2 weeks before the wedding like they require.

RebeccaFlower · June 2014

I think if you venue needed two weeks, you only really needed a week buffer but it's not a huge deal.

Why do people act like this??

Re: Why do people act like this??

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