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Customs and Traditions

Wedding - Kosher Question Help - XP

pperper86pperper86 member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited June 2014 in Customs and Traditions
Hi, So I saw a venue I loved ( Fox Hollow Inn at Jericho Turnpike, NY), but they don't serve Kosher meals and don't coordinate Kosher meals for you. They do allow you to bring in outside meals for the cocktail hour and reception, but i'm worried about how that would work since they would not be able to heat the food up in their kitchen. Also, I could not find any Kosher caterers in the area who would provide meals for just 5-7 people, Also, there would have to be an attendant at the cocktail hour to supervise the Kosher station. Has anyone dealt with this before? How does it work? Any recommendations on Kosher restaurants / caterers in the area that would accommodate so few guests? Please Help!

Re: Wedding - Kosher Question Help - XP

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would check with your local group. They might be able to help you better with a restaurant or caterer. That said I've worked a lot of functions that required a Kosher meal. Often the Kosher caterer or restaurant would bring up 1-10 Kosher meals in to-go containers. The chefs would reheat the meals in the original containers. The servers would give the meals to the Kosher guests (also in the to-go container). Often the meals came with special silverware also (you can't use a fork that was previously eaten dairy if you are now having meet). If they did not provide silverware we would give the guests to-go utensil packets or we would present them with a new box of real utensils with the plastic still on them. The guest would personally take out the fork out of the box and unwrap the plastic. One easy way to have the right apps is to have vegan options. Veggies can be eaten with both dairy and meat. Just make sure they do no use dairy (i.e. butter to saute something) and you should be fine.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Also, if you're going to post on more than one board (this is also posted in Reception Ideas), put XP in the title to indicate that you are cross-posting.

    It's okay to cross-post - just let us know that you are doing so because sometimes it's confusing when we don't get the heads-up.
  • Post this on the Long Island forum. They are local girls and would be able to give you info on venues in the area.

    I'm from LI but never did the kosher thing so I'm not sure what you should do.

    I will say this: while I absolutely respect everyone's religions and customs, guests should not expect the B & G to make special circumstances for them. If I absolutely needed to eat kosher, I would bring my own food with me, like a sandwich i could keep in my bag or something.

    I think it is awesome you want to accomodate the kosher people but I don't feel you really have to. I am sure they have probably been to non-kosher weddings before.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Post this on the Long Island forum. They are local girls and would be able to give you info on venues in the area. I'm from LI but never did the kosher thing so I'm not sure what you should do. I will say this: while I absolutely respect everyone's religions and customs, guests should not expect the B & G to make special circumstances for them. If I absolutely needed to eat kosher, I would bring my own food with me, like a sandwich i could keep in my bag or something. I think it is awesome you want to accomodate the kosher people but I don't feel you really have to. I am sure they have probably been to non-kosher weddings before.
    I'm sure they have been to non-kosher weddings with hosts who care about them enough to order a Kosher meal.   

    I've never found finding Kosher meals a problem and I've lived in some pretty remote places.  If your Kosher guest can't help you, then just call a local Rabbi.  IME they have been more than accommodating helping people find Kosher meals for guests.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • edited May 2014
    Long Island is one of the most expensive areas of the country though. She may not be able to find a cheaper venue. i know that venue and their prices are awesome so it sucks if you cant do kosher but at the same time it would also suck to not have a venue you can afford. That venue will work with you on prices - most places on LI wont. So she is likely to find a only more expensive venue to be able to provide kosher food. Maybe she has the budget, I dont really know.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    Long Island is one of the most expensive areas of the country though. She may not be able to find a cheaper venue. i know that venue and their prices are awesome so it sucks if you cant do kosher but at the same time it would also suck to not have a venue you can afford. That venue will work with you on prices - most places on LI wont. So she is likely to find a only more expensive venue to be able to provide kosher food. Maybe she has the budget, I dont really know.
    My DH is from LI.  I'm well aware of it's expense. She doesn't have to look for a Kosher only catered if she is only having a few Kosher guests.  All she has to do is find a restaurant or caterer who is willing to provide her the few Kosher meals she needs.  Kosher meals are often the exception to the "no outside food rule" because they are aware they are not and can not provide Kosher meals. (they still normally required a licensed business providing the meal).  Venues do this type of thing often, especially in LI.     

    For example, my DH was a chef in both St Thomas and New Orleans for a major hotel chain. Sometimes he would get Kosher guests for an event.   He would contact a local Kosher restaurant to arrange for a few meals.   The restaurant would drop off the Kosher meals to the hotel with heating instructions in to-go containers.    DH would reheat the meals in the container provided (never re-plate the meal) and serve it to the guest.   Not that difficult.   I've seen Kosher restaurants drop off food at places like the JW Marriott in Chicago, Omni's in Indy and other venues around the country.

    Sure there are Kosher guests who are more strict that other, but at least in my experience they way I posted above as worked just fine or most Kosher guests. 







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Also, since the reception is to thank your guests, and you're inviting them to what is essentially a very large-scale dinner party, it is incumbent upon the hosts to make reasonable* accommodations for their guests' dietary needs.

    *Reasonable accommodations being defined at least in part as 'genuine religious or medical dietary restrictions, such as Kosher meals or dairy- or gluten-free meals, and ordinary preferences, such as vegan or vegetarian, that can be reasonably accommodated.'

    I am still shirty over the guest who informed me he is 'a 'locovore' and only eats locally grown, organically raised vegetables, and could I guarantee that the pasta primavera would be prepared that way?'

    No.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Also, since the reception is to thank your guests, and you're inviting them to what is essentially a very large-scale dinner party, it is incumbent upon the hosts to make reasonable* accommodations for their guests' dietary needs.

    *Reasonable accommodations being defined at least in part as 'genuine religious or medical dietary restrictions, such as Kosher meals or dairy- or gluten-free meals, and ordinary preferences, such as vegan or vegetarian, that can be reasonably accommodated.'

    I am still shirty over the guest who informed me he is 'a 'locovore' and only eats locally grown, organically raised vegetables, and could I guarantee that the pasta primavera would be prepared that way?'

    No.


    Stuck in the box....How did your guest take that answer?  What did he do?
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    Also, since the reception is to thank your guests, and you're inviting them to what is essentially a very large-scale dinner party, it is incumbent upon the hosts to make reasonable* accommodations for their guests' dietary needs.

    *Reasonable accommodations being defined at least in part as 'genuine religious or medical dietary restrictions, such as Kosher meals or dairy- or gluten-free meals, and ordinary preferences, such as vegan or vegetarian, that can be reasonably accommodated.'

    I am still shirty over the guest who informed me he is 'a 'locovore' and only eats locally grown, organically raised vegetables, and could I guarantee that the pasta primavera would be prepared that way?'

    No.


    Stuck in the box....How did your guest take that answer?  What did he do?
    Ha.  I remember in St Thomas we had a guest who YELLED at DH because he didn't have LOCALLY grown, organic Strawberries.     It's an island dude, we do no grow strawberries here. 

    Seriously, some of these type people are into the cause they can't stop to think if it's even possible. I bet he has problems getting locally grown organic oranges in Alaska too. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Jen4948 said:
    Also, since the reception is to thank your guests, and you're inviting them to what is essentially a very large-scale dinner party, it is incumbent upon the hosts to make reasonable* accommodations for their guests' dietary needs.

    *Reasonable accommodations being defined at least in part as 'genuine religious or medical dietary restrictions, such as Kosher meals or dairy- or gluten-free meals, and ordinary preferences, such as vegan or vegetarian, that can be reasonably accommodated.'

    I am still shirty over the guest who informed me he is 'a 'locovore' and only eats locally grown, organically raised vegetables, and could I guarantee that the pasta primavera would be prepared that way?'

    No.


    Stuck in the box....How did your guest take that answer?  What did he do?
    It was DH's co-worker's FI, so I asked him to tell her, 'Look, the pasta is GF, and the vegetables are cooked in EVOO not butter, but that's really the best we can do, because it's October in Central PA and I highly doubt the vegetables are local.'

    The co-worker said that was fine, because they 'just prefer to eat local if they can,' and then both of them ended up not coming anyway, so it was kind of a lot of bother over nothing.
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  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    edited May 2014
    Jen4948 said:
    Also, since the reception is to thank your guests, and you're inviting them to what is essentially a very large-scale dinner party, it is incumbent upon the hosts to make reasonable* accommodations for their guests' dietary needs.

    *Reasonable accommodations being defined at least in part as 'genuine religious or medical dietary restrictions, such as Kosher meals or dairy- or gluten-free meals, and ordinary preferences, such as vegan or vegetarian, that can be reasonably accommodated.'

    I am still shirty over the guest who informed me he is 'a 'locovore' and only eats locally grown, organically raised vegetables, and could I guarantee that the pasta primavera would be prepared that way?'

    No.


    Stuck in the box....How did your guest take that answer?  What did he do?
    It was DH's co-worker's FI, so I asked him to tell her, 'Look, the pasta is GF, and the vegetables are cooked in EVOO not butter, but that's really the best we can do, because it's October in Central PA and I highly doubt the vegetables are local.'

    The co-worker said that was fine, because they 'just prefer to eat local if they can,' and then both of them ended up not coming anyway, so it was kind of a lot of bother over nothing.



    Maybe they couldn't make it because they were suffering from scurvy, what with it being autumn in PA and no fresh fruits/veggies available from the frozen earth.

    ETA paragraphs
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  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    This sounds odd but I'd ask at the Kosher board on chowhound.com. It's a very active community and I've seen them post about wedding and event foods before. Plus, there's a huge NY population there.

    Good luck!
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  • pperper86pperper86 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited June 2014
    Thanks everyone for the responses. Going to see if I can taste the Kosher meals..determine if they are really "TV Dinner" Quality. 
  • Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    Jen4948 said:
    Also, since the reception is to thank your guests, and you're inviting them to what is essentially a very large-scale dinner party, it is incumbent upon the hosts to make reasonable* accommodations for their guests' dietary needs.

    *Reasonable accommodations being defined at least in part as 'genuine religious or medical dietary restrictions, such as Kosher meals or dairy- or gluten-free meals, and ordinary preferences, such as vegan or vegetarian, that can be reasonably accommodated.'

    I am still shirty over the guest who informed me he is 'a 'locovore' and only eats locally grown, organically raised vegetables, and could I guarantee that the pasta primavera would be prepared that way?'

    No.


    Stuck in the box....How did your guest take that answer?  What did he do?
    It was DH's co-worker's FI, so I asked him to tell her, 'Look, the pasta is GF, and the vegetables are cooked in EVOO not butter, but that's really the best we can do, because it's October in Central PA and I highly doubt the vegetables are local.'

    The co-worker said that was fine, because they 'just prefer to eat local if they can,' and then both of them ended up not coming anyway, so it was kind of a lot of bother over nothing.



    Maybe they couldn't make it because they were suffering from scurvy, what with it being autumn in PA and no fresh fruits/veggies available from the frozen earth.

    ETA paragraphs
    - - -
    "For our wedding we are focusing on serving all local ingredients. So please choose a meal option:
    Water
    or
    Ice"

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------sitb

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