How Young is too Young for a Flower Girl?

Kambley2015 · June 2014

We are planning on having my cousin's daughter be the flower girl at our wedding. She just turned 1 and will be 2 years, 2 months when we get married. She started walking just before her 1st birthday but I am apprehensive about having her walk down the aisle and comprehending the whole thing - walking slowly and dropping petals along the way.

I know each child is different but has anyone experienced either good or bad situations with a flower girl as young? Would you recommend an older child walk down the aisle with her or we just choose an older child altogether? Open to all advice!

KatWAG · June 2014

I would choose an older child. Too many things could go wrong with a 2 year old. I think you would be safer with someone who is 5ish.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2014

Our church strongly recommends no children in the wedding party younger than 5 years old.

We may have 2 3 year old FG's, but only if their parents want them to participate, only because there will be a much older FG to help them down the aisle, and only because I don't really care if they make it down the aisle, cry, run off, etc.

delujm0 · June 2014

i was a flower girl when i was 3 and a half. i walked down the aisle with no problems. however, during the cathoic ceremony, which was long, i got bored, and was dancing aroud on the altar, and playing peek-a-boo with my cousins who were sitting out in the pews...i probably thought i was adorable, and at least i wasn't screaming and having a tantrum (which is a possibility with a toddler), and my aunt didn't care, or probably even notice. However, if you want a young child to participate in your wedding, you have to be comfortable with the idea that you can't count on a toddler to do what they're supposed to when the time comes, or stay quiet and still for an extended period of time. If you're ok with that, proceed. If you're VERY SERIOUS about your perfect ceremony not being interrupted or disrupted by unplanned events, you should either chose an older child or skip the flower girl all together.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

I think three is the absolute youngest a child should be to be in a wedding. But even then it really depends on the child and one 3 year old may be "older" then another 3 year old.

chibiyui · June 2014

I had a three year old ring bearer. I would advise against having any one younger than 3, and that's pushing it.

zitiqueen · June 2014

Can this child explain what a flower girl is and what a flower girl does during the ceremony? That's one of the rules of thumb around here for determining if a child is old enough to be in the wedding party.

AddieCake · June 2014

I always vote at least 3.

vk2204 · June 2014

Will the child be attending the wedding regardless if she is the flower girl? If you really want her as the FG and she will be there either way I say go for it and ask her, just don't expect her to walk down the aisle.

Our nephew the RB was 2.5 for our wedding and both of his parents were standing up as well. I was fully prepared to have him either get carried in by his parents or come in with grandparents. Surprisingly he walked in with the other kids standing up and was perfect. But I stood up in a wedding that had a 3 y/o FG and she SOBBED loudly the whole way down the aisle. Her mother (also in the wedding) had to run and get her and take her out of the church.

Jen4948 · June 2014

I'd say the youngest a flower girl or ring bearer should be is 3.

They need to at least be able to walk up and down the aisle on their own, not holding hands or being carried, and they should be mature enough to have some idea of what they're being asked to do and how to behave. Even then, a flower girl or ring bearer can be unpredictable.

Nymeru · June 2014

I would think she'd be much too young. She wouldn't necessarily understand/want to follow directions and you have a much higher likelihood of her having a meltdown at some point down the aisle or during the ceremony. I'd stick with the 4+ age group personally.

labro · June 2014

My sister's FG was about three years old. I think it just depends on the child. Each kid is different maturity and development level wise. Her FG didn't walk slowly and she didn't remember to toss the petals but she was still adorable and still produced the "awwww" from the congregation. She even stood up with the bridesmaids for about half the ceremony before quietly telling me she wanted to go sit with her mom. NBD. Give it a few months and talk to your cousin about it. She'll be able to give you a pretty accurate description of her daughter's maturity level and potential ability to handle a crowd all turning to look at her. It still won't predict what WILL happen the day of, but it should give you a better idea so you can make a decision.

Jen4948 · June 2014

LaPeanut1018 said:

My sister's FG was about three years old. I think it just depends on the child. Each kid is different maturity and development level wise. Her FG didn't walk slowly and she didn't remember to toss the petals but she was still adorable and still produced the "awwww" from the congregation. She even stood up with the bridesmaids for about half the ceremony before quietly telling me she wanted to go sit with her mom. NBD. Give it a few months and talk to your cousin about it. She'll be able to give you a pretty accurate description of her daughter's maturity level and potential ability to handle a crowd all turning to look at her. It still won't predict what WILL happen the day of, but it should give you a better idea so you can make a decision.

One thing to keep in mind is, a kid can be very good on one occasion and terrible the next time. Just because a 2 or 3 year old can handle it one day doesn't mean that they won't have a meltdown or behave inappropriately the next. But a kid under 3 is more likely to be unable to handle it than a kid over 3.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

I think with two years old you are risking a lot with either sudden shyness, fear or tantrum, especially a tantrum if the ceremony time prevents the child from getting a nap in at their normal nap time.

kmmssg · June 2014

One thing is a given - a 2 year old will NOT be able to walk slow AND scatter petals. Walking slow isn't going to happen most likely. She will be very young and she might stop and throw and handful of petals down and then go on (which would be kinda cute) but do not have the idea she will walk slowly and toss a few petals like a 5 or 6 year old could do.

How Young is too Young for a Flower Girl?

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